Unshackled Moments ~ October 28 ~ Spiritual Crack Babies

I hear addicts talk about the shakes and panic attacks and the highs and lows of resisting their habit, and to some degree I understand them because I have had habits of my own, but no drug is so powerful as the drug of self. No rut in the mind is so deep as the one that says I am the world, the world belongs to me, all people are characters in my play. There is no addiction so powerful as self addiction.

- Donald Miller Blue Like Jazz: Nonreligious Thoughts On Christian Spirituality

I read this to Leah last night, but not as the stand alone quote I am sharing here. I am reading the book to her. She enjoys it when I read to her, so,,,,well, so I read to her. I like to make her happy, and Blue Like Jazz is the book we are currently reading... I am reading, and she is listening to. And we're discussing. We discussed the above quote.

When I first read the statement I totally and completely agreed with it. I could even understand and somewhat relate to the manifestation of self addiction as described in the book by Miller. My first instinct was to say that we are indeed all addicted to self by the time we become self aware. That is the main part of the curse. Satan tempted Eve with self rising to be as God. Your self can be your God, he told her, and she bought it. Then she got caught and told Adam what the snake said, and he bought it too. I believe that had Adam knocked the fruit out of her hand instead of eating it we might still be in the garden, well, except that sooner or later one of us would screw it all up. The Bible says it was through Adam's sin, not Eve's, that sin and the curse entered the world, so that must mean that until he also ate there was some chance at a reset.

Not the point. The point is we are all spiritual crack babies, born addicted to the spiritual crack we call self. I believe that. So when I read there is no addiction so powerful as self addiction, I completely and immediately agreed. Leah didn't understand it though, so I had to rethink some. I'm not saying she didn't understand the concept. My wife is a beautifully intelligent woman, and she can grasp a simple concept like addiction to self. No, she couldn't understand Miller, or at least his what it was like section of describing his self addiction.

I thought it was right on, because I could indeed relate to it. In fact, I figured everyone who got really honest with themselves would see how they were, at least some, like that too. Miller spoke of life being a story about himself and how that was the greatest lie he ever had to contend with. Other people were not people but supporting roles in his movie. Leah thought that sounded horrible (and it is), and said she not only couldn't remember ever being like that, but couldn't relate.

As soon as she said it, I knew she was right. I know her well enough to know that even before she began to grow spiritually healthy and find relationship with Daddy she truly had a heart for others. She would lay down her life, not die for but rather live for (a much harder proposition), others. She has, and has had for at least the vast majority of her life, a heart full of compassion for the broken. Miller's description didn't fit her at all really.

Last night, during my evening meditations to close the day, I thought about that. It threw me into a bit of a quandary, which is a good thing because it makes me think and question my suppositions. Like many, and most, addicts (including alcoholics, which is merely a drug specific addiction) I vacillate between believing that no one is like me, no one feels like I do, no one could possibly relate to or understand the things that go on in my head and heart and that I am terminally unique, to the flip side that everyone is like me, deep down under all the masks and the pretending and the social niceties, everyone is as messed up as me and has the same thoughts and motivations. Neither of course is true, because it's only a small percentage of us freaks that live at the extremes.

Miller's story reflected things I understood and could relate to about self addiction, so I agreed. After all, the Big Book of Alcoholics Anonymous also has a similar statement.

Each person is like an actor who wants to run the whole show; is forever trying to arrange the lights, the ballet, the scenery, and the rest of the players in his own way. If his arrangements would only stay put, if only people would do as he wished the show would be great. Everybody, including himself, would be pleased. Life would be wonderful. In trying to make these arrangements our actor may sometimes be quite virtuous. He may be kind, considerate, patient, generous, even modest and self sacrificing. On the other hand, he may be mean, egotistical, selfish and dishonest. But as with moth humans he is more likely to have varied traits.

 “What usually happens? The show doesn’t’ come off very well.

Nikki Sixx said it like this in his song Life After Death (another statement of self addiction I totally related to): So here we are at the end, and at the same time we're at the beginning of this misadventure. Why I had to go down a dead end street at 200 miles an hour screaming for vengeance and embracing death, that's still something I'm trying to figure out. You know a part of me thinks this is some big master plan to expose the raw nerve endings of dysfunction so I can heal. But you know addicts, we think everything's about us, don't we?

It hit me, that perhaps this lack of being able to relate to the kind of selfishness and self centeredness that Miller described and I could relate to is precisely why Leah never developed alcoholism. She's not built to fall for the self over all others in all things lie, the lie that says life is a story about me, much less live and act like that.   So was I wrong about us all being born crack babies? Did that mean that Leah was not, after all, addicted to self, and if she was not, didn't that mean that others were not? After all, Leah is no more terminally unique than I am.

But no. Jesus made it clear that the only way to follow Him is to die to self, and no one wanted to do it. No one wants to do it today. We say OK, because we know it doesn't mean we stop breathing. Everyone wants to go to heaven, but nobody wants to die. And people want the benefits of relationship with their Creator without having to step down off the throne at the center of their universe. What if Jesus had said it differently? What if instead of saying you had to deny self and take up your cross, He said you would have to live like others, even people you don't know and don't like, are, at the very least, just as important as you are? What if He had said we would all have to kick our habit and stop using our drug of choice, the one that Adam and Eve got us all hooked on, the one that says please me, make me safe, make me comfortable, make me happy?

I am reminded that I received some good advice once on sharing my story. Stay away from details; I was told, something I don't always remember to follow, but I try. If you describe the scary details of addiction you lose some of the people you are trying to reach. Some will have been worse than you, gone deeper into the gutter, come closer to dying, and done far worse. They will discount your solution because you were not as messed up as they. On the other hand, there were and are addicts who realized that they were in trouble before blowing their lives up, who never got arrested, never overdosed, never, to the best of their knowledge, nearly died, never....you get the idea, and when they hear the war stories they think to themselves, I am so not like, or one of, these people.

But they are, and when, instead of talking about doing an entire 8-ball by myself that three of us paid for and were supposed to share because I picked it up and the other two didn't get to where I was fast enough (I guess they didn't want or need it as badly as I did), I speak about the emptiness that I was trying to fill or hide or distract myself from, when I talk about being alone in the middle of the crowd, etc., addicts on both sides of my junkie scale can identify.

We are all indeed born addicted to self. There's a reason that none of us can walk with God without grace, that none of us can love like Jesus without help. We are all addicted to self. But it looks worse on some of us than others, because it manifests differently. The quote from the Big Book was wrong in my mind.  It wasn't saying that we are all actors who believe the show is about us. That's how I remember it and think of it, because that is the way it manifests in me.

But it only said we wanted to control everything. We want to run the show, and that ours and everyone else's life would be better if everyone would simply follow direction. It's still the same addiction. In me it might come to light as you only matter if you can make me feel better, good, safe comfortable or happy. If you can't do that, go away, and for that matter, go away until I want you to make me feel one or more of those things because I isolate. For others it may manifest as I only matter if I can make your life better, good, safe, comfortable or happy. In fact, I don't like myself unless I am making the world a better place for others. It's still about self. It's all about making life work in such a way as to not make us hate ourselves, make us hate our lives and forget that we are miserable in the dark when the world gets quiet and the thoughts won't follow suit.

Leah is a crack baby, just like me. It's not her fault. It's not mine either. Our parents passed the addiction on to us, as it was passed on to them, all the way back to our common parents. Which, means that yes, you too, Dear Reader, were born a crack baby. I don't know how your addiction to self manifests. Maybe  you can't understand or relate to the things I express or people like Donald Miller and Nikki Sixx write, maybe you don't think everything is about you. And maybe that even makes it harder because it's not as easy to spot the addiction when you don't have one foot in the gutter and the other one in the grave. But when you think your life should be run your way, when you are afraid to give control to God, even though you being in control hasn't really worked out all that well and hasn't made you not miserable, then, however it manifests, you are addicted to self.

As scary as it is, whichever group you fall into, the only solution is to kick. It won't be easy. You're going to jones like crazy, especially at first. You're going to relapse. You're going to give up your will and control (the two things that you need to feed your addiction), and then take them back or dig up stashes you had forgotten about until things get really desperate. Every addict and alcoholic that has gone into recovery that I have ever met has had to kick the self addiction in order to stay sober. And each of them has expressed in some form or another that it was harder to stop living for self than it was to stop living for drink and drug. We are all called to deny self, to surrender ourselves completely to our Creator. And none of us can do it without grace. We can't even really want to without some help. Oh we might say we want to when we're in a jam and need help, but what we really want is the help, not the self sacrifice.

But here's the thing. I'm not good at doing this. I relapse a lot. But I don't live under the influence of self 24/7 any more. I don't have to direct or star in the show. I did do that scariest of things, surrender the throne to another, to the One who deserves to be there. I can testify that life is better when it's not self centered. Life is worth living and more fulfilling, more satisfying and joyful, more peaceful and contented when it is first placed on the altar as a living sacrifice. The relationship with Jesus really is worth the struggle of kicking the addiction, and what's better than that is He will even help us kick. He's the one that made getting clean possible in the first place.




Unshackled Life Ministries is grateful for every person that reads the daily Unshackled Moments and or listens to the messages. I want to thank those who have clicked "like" on something that blessed or ministered to them. It is encouraging to know that God is using this ministry to help and bless others. Please remember that if God used something from this ministry to help, encourage or bless you, it could also bless someone else. Would you help get the devotions to more people by sharing the Moments and messages that you read or listen to? Hitting the share button instead of or in addition to the like button will help us reach more people with the good news of freedom and the encouragement to live an Unshackled Life. Thank you and God bless.

If you would like to have notifications of new Unshackled Moments and messages sent to you via email, send an email to dalynwoodard@mail.com requesting to be added to the list. You can also follow Dalyn Woodard (@Dalynsmsings) on Twitter or Unshackled Life Ministries on Facebook.

Unshackled Moments ~ October 27 ~ More Lessons From Baiden

Today's Unshackled Moment gives me the opportunity to show off my grandson Baiden a little, while at the same time sharing something the Holy Spirit used this video to relay to me last night. It's hard to believe Baiden is only three years old. If you watch the video (about a minute and a half or so of precious grandson footage), you will see what he had me doing for a good portion of our time at the park together Monday morning.

He would walk that course, with me by his side, holding his hand, repeatedly. As the video shows, he steps off track twice. The first time barely slowed him down at the time and didn't make him more cautious at all. The second time however, he came off in a bigger way, and it took a little more effort on my part to keep him from falling and to get him going again. The next run through, he went a little slower, walked more carefully. Toward the end of the video I can be seen stepping further away, encouraging him to take that first step more on his own while still assuring him that I was there. We had a blast, although he wore me out. What isn't on the video is that the next half hour or so that we continued to play he decided he wanted me to race him back to the start of the course, and even allowing him to win, it was more running, starting, stopping, etc. than this out of shape body could take without hurting.

Still I wouldn't change a thing, except perhaps there would be one more video, one moment I wish we had captured that wasn't. And as seems to happen when I get to see my grandson for more than a few minutes, God uses him and our time together as an object lesson for me. Last night I came to remember and or understand three truths about my Heavenly Daddy because of this video and my memories of the the time walking this course with Baiden.

First, I wasn't going through the course with Baiden. I wasn't going up and down the different levels of steps or having to be careful of my balance. Technically I was not on or in the course at all, and yet, Baiden was not alone or on his own at any point, because though not on the course I was with him and right by his side. My feet were on solid ground. I was not going to fall or trip, so I could make sure that he was safe and secure.

Sometimes we're in the middle of an obstacle course of our own. Our day, month, year or even entire life may seem like one big struggle in an obstacle course designed to kill us. When we're in the more difficult moments it can sometimes feel like we're going through it alone. We can't believe, in the depths of who we are, that God is with us, even though Jesus promise never to leave or forsake us. I think perhaps part of the problem is that we can't imagine God in the middle of our storm. But He's not in the middle of our storm, walking our obstacle course. He's outside it and not effected by it. But He's right with us at every turn and every step ready to help us, to catch us, and even hold our hand if we'll let Him.

Secondly, sometimes we mess up. Sometimes we step off the path. Sometimes we stumble. Sometimes we start to fall. It may be that we got distracted by someone or something in the park with us. It may be that we just got excited and rushed through faster than we could safely travel our day, our course. It may be that we became too comfortable and secure and got careless. We may even do it on purpose. But if our hand is in Daddy's hand, like Baiden's was in mine, we will not fall...not off the course, damage and destruction, time to cry falling anyway. We may have to be caught and set back on the path, but through His love and grace, that can happen quickly and easily, and we can keep going.

When that happens, once we are back on path, we need to let it go. It's not time to become afraid. God just proved His faithfulness. He's not mad. Forgiveness is part of getting back where we need to be, so once we're there, it's time to simply move forward not looking back. But that doesn't mean we don't learn from what happened. Baiden failed to slow down and take more time, and he slipped from the course again the next time through. If we stumble and are kept up by grace and quick repentance and relying on Daddy, we still need to realize why it happened and adjust. If not, we will repeat the mistake, and each time we come closer and closer to a true fall because Daddy wants us to use His grace to make the adjustments and eliminate the issue. The next time through, Baiden slowed down and stayed up. It may be slowing down, it may be speeding up, but whatever is needed to keep us on the course, the grace is there to provide it. But we have to apply it. Let's do so.

Finally, sometimes it's hard to mean it when we say Lord, use me as You will, because we're afraid He will have us move outside our comfort zone. And He will. Sorry if you thought I was going to reassure you of your feeling safe and sound and comfortable. Toward the end of the video I had Baiden step toward me. Shortly after the time of the recording I asked Baiden if he wanted to walk it himself. He said, "No," and shook his head to indicate the negative. But I told him he could do it and that I would still be right there. I encouraged him to give it a try. He looked a little nervous, but he stepped out onto the first block, and made it. He grinned and his eyes were focused on the path, but there were also quick glances to my hands, no longer holding his but still right there at his sides to catch him should he slip as he made his way, more slowly but without incident through the course.

He beamed with joy when he reached the end and ran to tell Leah and Amanda that he had walked it all by himself! We went back to me holding his hand because he wanted to go fast, but he had done it. And he knew he had done it. He trusted me when I said he could, even though he wasn't sure, and he trusted me to catch him, even though I no longer had his hand in mine.

Yes, God will move us out of our comfort zone. He will stretch us. But each time He knows we are ready, even if we do not. We may no longer feel as safe and comfortable or feel His hand in ours, but the truth is that even beyond our comfort zone we are not on our own, not doing it all by ourselves (no matter what it feels like), and He is still right by our side to catch us and help us should we need it. We don't need to be afraid of stepping out where and when He asks us to. If He tells us we can do it, either we can, or He will add enough grace to make us able.

Today, let us remember that He is with us. Let us place our hand in His and walk with confidence and joy. And let us thank Him for catching us if we slip, ask forgiveness for what we did that caused it, apply the grace to adjust to keep from doing it again, but then move on as though it never happened. Let us not allow the steps behind us to control the steps ahead. And let us realize there is joy at the end of the day when we listen to God, even when He has us step out beyond our comfort zone and we feel a little more on our own.

P.S. I know I said three things, but here's a quick fourth as a bonus. Even though we are walking the path by His grace and power and He is the one enabling our victories, He still lets us have the joy of winning.



Unshackled Life Ministries is grateful for every person that reads the daily Unshackled Moments and or listens to the messages. I want to thank those who have clicked "like" on something that blessed or ministered to them. It is encouraging to know that God is using this ministry to help and bless others. Please remember that if God used something from this ministry to help, encourage or bless you, it could also bless someone else. Would you help get the devotions to more people by sharing the Moments and messages that you read or listen to? Hitting the share button instead of or in addition to the like button will help us reach more people with the good news of freedom and the encouragement to live an Unshackled Life. Thank you and God bless.

If you would like to have notifications of new Unshackled Moments and messages sent to you via email, send an email to dalynwoodard@mail.com requesting to be added to the list. You can also follow Dalyn Woodard (@Dalynsmsings) on Twitter or Unshackled Life Ministries on Facebook.

Prayers Of Thanksgiving

Dalyn Woodard shares on the third of the ACTS of prayer. We take a look at what may very well be the most important type of regular prayer, the prayer that helps us to understand, retain and remember the truth that God loves us  The message, "Prayers Of Thanksgiving" is about 33 minutes long and was recorded at Nacogdoches Christian Fellowship on Wednesday, October 26, 2016. It's our prayer that you are blessed and ministered to as you listen. May God bless and keep you.

Unshackled Life Ministries is grateful for every person that reads the daily Unshackled Moments and or listens to the messages. I want to thank those who have clicked "like" on something that blessed or ministered to them. It is encouraging to know that God is using this ministry to help and bless others. Please remember that if God used something from this ministry to help, encourage or bless you, it could also bless someone else. Would you help get the devotions to more people by sharing the Moments and messages that you read or listen to? Hitting the share button instead of or in addition to the like button will help us reach more people with the good news of freedom and the encouragement to live an Unshackled Life. Thank you and God bless.

If you would like to have notifications of new Unshackled Moments and messages sent to you via email, send an email to dalynwoodard@mail.com requesting to be added to the list. You can also follow Dalyn Woodard (@Dalynsmsings) on Twitter or Unshackled Life Ministries on Facebook.

Unshackled Moments ~ October 26 ~ Oh How The Fallen Have Mightied

Finally, my brethren, be strong in the Lord and in the power of His might. 

- Ephesians 6:10

There used to be a show called This Is Your Life. It started as a radio show in the 1940s and then moved to television in the early '50s, lasting until '61. Then there was a remake in the '70s and some special episodes in the '80s. It was one of the original  reality series, let's look at someone else's life for entertainment. Technically it was a documentary show where the host would surprise guests and then take them through their lives in front of an audience. This trip through the guest's biography included special guest appearances by colleagues, friends and family.

In a way it was sort of a real version of It's A Wonderful Life, as it took ordinary people and gave their biography, complete with testimonials, to show the impact they had on their communities.  There were also celebrities who were featured. What there weren't were losers.  There weren't any Hey, you lied and stole and drank and drugged and fought and lusted your way through the first half or so of your life, highlights include overdoses, car wrecks,dead friends and prison. This Is Your Life!

I enjoyed that show. I always thought it would be cool to be the kind of person who could get featured on it. I also knew from the first that I became aware of the program that I would never qualify. Of course, by the time I was in my mid-teens I was also convinced that had It's A Wonderful Life been made about me there wouldn't have been any of this, see, the world is a better place because of you message that George Bailey received. I still believe that had my life ended say ten years ago, that it might have indeed been better for everyone involved had I never been born. That said, I don't believe that is the case since I survived to this point, since I began traveling the Recovery Road in 2008 and finally found a life worth living through relationship with my Creator.

There actually may be people whose lives are better because they ran into me rather than worse because of my presence in their lives. I have found freedom, joy, love, peace and even love. But this better life worth living that doesn't suck the life and joy out of others and leave a path of destruction in its wake is not because of me. I don't have the power to live this wonderful life any more now than I did as an addict teen. On my own I am a selfish, self-centered, hedonist with no impulse control and no concern for the consequences of my actions, more times than not. But with and in relationship with God I have been given the power to live a different, a better life. It's the power of His might, not mine.

But that is one of the awesome things about God. He loves us thoroughly and furiously and wants relationship with us, even when we wouldn't qualify, couldn't qualify, don't deserve it and never will. He loves the losers, and the broken people and the fallen rebels. He loves to take the weak and share His strength and might with us so that we can be overcomers who positively effect and serve the lives of others. He loves to share His love through people you'd never expect.

My experience, my life, is proof that it doesn't matter where you've been or what you've done, God can still heal, restore, free and use you for His glory. And the relationship He enables us to have with Him will give us a life that is indeed wonderful and worth living. It is a life that has real joy, peace, love and purpose. It is a life in which we do not have to hang our head in shame of who we are or what we have done. You too can be free of the chains that bind, healed of the wounded heart and broken life. You can be one of the fallen who have mightied. But you can not mighty or empower yourself. You can't fix your brokenness yourself or on your own. He is an ever present help in time of trouble, and life is trouble. He is calling. He loves us.

If you too are sick and tired of being sick and tired, defeated and broken, unable to stop doing the things that you hate and that are killing you, and unable to do and be who you desperately wish you were and could be, there is a solution. Jesus is the answer. His love and grace give us the power to do what we could not do ourselves. He is the truth that makes us free. Surrender your heart and lose the life you hate while gaining a better life than you dream you can have. It worked for me.



Unshackled Life Ministries is grateful for every person that reads the daily Unshackled Moments and or listens to the messages. I want to thank those who have clicked "like" on something that blessed or ministered to them. It is encouraging to know that God is using this ministry to help and bless others. Please remember that if God used something from this ministry to help, encourage or bless you, it could also bless someone else. Would you help get the devotions to more people by sharing the Moments and messages that you read or listen to? Hitting the share button instead of or in addition to the like button will help us reach more people with the good news of freedom and the encouragement to live an Unshackled Life. Thank you and God bless.

If you would like to have notifications of new Unshackled Moments and messages sent to you via email, send an email to dalynwoodard@mail.com requesting to be added to the list. You can also follow Dalyn Woodard (@Dalynsmsings) on Twitter or Unshackled Life Ministries on Facebook.

Unshackled Moments ~ October 25 ~ Speaking Fluent Action

It's good to be home, but Leah and I miss our family. The great thing about visits is that you get to spend time with your loved ones. The bad thing about them is that you have to leave. If you didn't leave, it wouldn't be a visit. That's called a move and comes with its own set of problems and issues. Visits are good, but they need to happen more frequently and there needs to be more communication and connection in between them.

Oh, and I seriously need to remember that driving a few hours northwest at the speed limit does not, as I appear to have believed, take years off my life or increase physical fitness. I know I didn't really believe that, but I read something last night where the author set forth that what you believe is what you do, it is what your actions show, There is some truth in that. If you say you love Jesus and that you believe that someone is about to self destruct if they don't come to know Him as the solution, and if you also say that you care for that person, and if you also say that you believe that the consequences of that self destruction are eternal and yet you don't tell that person about Jesus, you don't really believe those things. If your actions are that you don't want to risk rejection or something of that nature, then what you believe is that it is more important to be socially accepted or to look cool than it is that people who are on the highway to hell need Jesus. That was basically the author's position, and I agree...to a degree.

But the more I thought about it, the more I realized there are some problems with the what you believe is revealed in your actions theory. If you watched me play in the park with my precious grandson yesterday morning, my actions would have, if you believe this proposition, lied to you. Most of us do believe this, at least to an extent, and that's why we say things like actions speak louder than words, and don't tell me you're sorry; show me you're sorry. Yes, my actions might have been lying. They also might have been telling the truth. It all depends on what you thought they were saying. And that's the problem with actions revealing truths about life, such as belief. Their language is subjective and their meaning varies from interpreter to interpreter as the people run the situation and actions through the filters of their own thoughts, emotions, circumstances and history.

So what might someone have thought watching me play with my three year old grandson? It depends. One person said that they wished they had my energy, to which I replied that I wished I had my grandson's energy. They seemed to think my actions were saying that I had energy to spare, that all the running back and forth racing Baiden's swing came easily. My actions apparently said, "I am in decent shape." Oh how they lie. I moved more in that hour in the park than I have all month I think. I picked up the equivalent of a large bag of dog food multiple times, lifting it, swinging it, carrying it, then setting it down and jogging a little before picking it up and doing it again. My actions said that I think I am younger than my 45 years or at least in much better physical shape than I really am in. At least they could have seemed to say that.

My actions didn't lie to Leah though. No, my wife knows me well enough that my actions didn't fool her for a second, and I don't think they fooled my stepdaughter Amanda either. Amanda smiled an amused smile when Leah mentioned that I was crazy and was going to hurt tomorrow. You see, they both know that I am not in great shape, that I am indeed 45 rather than 25 and that I did not have the energy and stamina to be doing what I was doing. I was running on reserves and trying to fake it not hurting or wearing me out because I wanted to tell my grandson, with my actions and expressions, that I was having fun with him. Which, by the way, I was. I was having a blast. My body wasn't. It screamed at me. Yelled at me to stop. Accused me of losing my mind. My body hated me, and hates me more this morning as tomorrow has become today, and Leah was right. I hurt in places I forgot I had.

The truth is that I knew from the start that all that activity was going to hurt. I would definitely pay for the privilege of playing later. I didn't care. It was more than worth it. I have a tattoo that illustrates the philosophy of smile now, cry later, and I lived much too much of my life with the philosophy of this is going to hurt....later. So maybe I haven't changed as much as it seems I have. Just what is worth the pleasure to ignore the warning of pain to come for it has changed. Now it's not the illicit and immoral and illegal, but Baiden's laugh and smile can still do it. Baiden laughed more while I raced that swing than I saw him laugh all weekend. Oh, I knew I would pay. but I didn't care. That three year old's laughter and ear to ear smile hooked me. My actions didn't say anything about what I was doing being a good idea or an easy thing. They said I thought playing with my grandson and making him smile was more enjoyable and important to me than my present and future comfort. And they were telling the truth, I hurt, but have no regrets. Not only do I not regret doing it, I am certain I will do it, or something else as foolish, again. I'm too much like my mother not too. Grandkids are way more important than being pain free or comfortable.

And what about that person that needs to know that Jesus is the solution? My actions may say to someone that I don't really believe Jesus is the solution if I don't say something with words, or that I don't care about that person, or that I believe acceptance is more important or whatever. But they may also say that I believe that repeating the same loving acts of friendship and acceptance and care for that person without preaching enough times that they can accurately interpret what my actions are saying will speak louder than my words could because they've had too many people speak love while acting hate, speak God's grace while trying to force the law of sin and death, etc. Maybe I believe with everything that I am that Jesus is the answer for them but that they will go deaf to any words of "religion" spoken while they will drink up the language of love in action.

Actions do show the truth of what we believe. If we know how to read them. It's like sarcasm. I speak fluent sarcasm, so I tend to understand that tone means more than the words being spoken. To someone who doesn't get sarcasm, it may seem like someone is a big time liar or stupid when they say something sarcastic. Sarcasm is a language if truth, but you have to know how to speak and hear it, or it's full of lies. The language of actions is the same.

I once thought there were things I shouldn't ask forgiveness for. No matter how horrible I felt about doing them, again and again, I always did the again part. Obviously I enjoyed doing them and wanted to do them more than I hated them and hated myself for doing them. If I were really sorry I would quit doing them. So obviously my actions said I was doing exactly what I wanted and preferred and therefore I shouldn't ask God to forgive me, because I didn't have true remorse or repentance.

For what I am doing, I do not understand. For what I will to do, that I do not practice; but what I hate, that I do.

- Romans 7:15

I thought my actions were saying that I wasn't really sorry, that I didn't really hate those things and that I didn't really want to stop doing them. I didn't even know how to accurately interpret my own actions. What they were saying was that I was a slave to sin and couldn't set myself free. I needed the power of God to release me and keep me free. The language of actions is a language of truth, but we can not assume that we understand what it is saying accurately, not even when we are looking at ourselves. We need the wisdom of the Holy Spirit to make sure we are understanding what actions are saying.

Today  let us examine our actions and see if they line up with what we claim to believe. Let us remember as we go about our day that what others see in our expressions and actions will say more about what they think we believe than any Christian bumper stickers, T-shirts or music playing on our radios can ever or will ever say. But let us remember that we can't speak the truth of what we believe about God in our actions without grace, because humans can't speak the language of God's love and righteousness without outside help. Let us remember that what hear in the actions of others may not really be what they are saying and that we need to rely on the Spirit to interpret for us. And let us pray that today our actions line up with what God wants to say to everyone we encounter.


Unshackled Life Ministries is grateful for every person that reads the daily Unshackled Moments and or listens to the messages. I want to thank those who have clicked "like" on something that blessed or ministered to them. It is encouraging to know that God is using this ministry to help and bless others. Please remember that if God used something from this ministry to help, encourage or bless you, it could also bless someone else. Would you help get the devotions to more people by sharing the Moments and messages that you read or listen to? Hitting the share button instead of or in addition to the like button will help us reach more people with the good news of freedom and the encouragement to live an Unshackled Life. Thank you and God bless.

If you would like to have notifications of new Unshackled Moments and messages sent to you via email, send an email to dalynwoodard@mail.com requesting to be added to the list. You can also follow Dalyn Woodard (@Dalynsmsings) on Twitter or Unshackled Life Ministries on Facebook.

Unshackled Moments ~ October 21 ~ Suffering Succotash! That Smarts!

Leah's dog, the one whose puppies have provided almost half our family income for the last year or so, may not be pregnant. If I have the breeding days correct, she's not, although last night Dad reminded me that Leah and I were off about two weeks on the last litter. I think I'm right on when she was bred, but I'd rather be wrong. We need the money. I've been out of work for a long time, and we are beyond broke. Our polydactyl cat, Spock, is dying will need to be put down today to spare him more pain. My wife is still suffering physically, although it's not as bad as it was. Still, it's there, and I can't fix it. My back is killing me, and I haven't slept but a couple of hours tonight or rested in I don't even remember how long. Oh, and yesterday, the day I wrote an Unshackled Moment addressing the question Is God Fair? and the day after I preached a sermon where I spoke about grace and dancing through the pain (Grace Isn't Easy), our car blew up. OK, it didn't really blow up, but we broke down with serious engine trouble. It may need a total engine rebuild before we can drive it, and have I mentioned we are beyond broke and I'm out of work, also not mechanically inclined?

I know that my life is blessed.  I am blessed. I have a friend who just lost his son, and I would hate to even think of whining about my "suffering" in his presence. There may be no worse pain than losing a child, well maybe burning alive would be worse. I'm not sure. Yeah, compared to many I have it good... right now, broke, in pain and with little reason to believe either will change any time soon, I have it good.

I have food to eat. I can, and will most likely, be full today. Probably more than once. I have a roof over my head, and despite the car being unusable at the moment, still have transportation to get where I need to go. It's not ours, but it's ours to use as we need. I have coffee, and despite the pain in my back, am in relatively good health, especially considering the life I've led and the fact that I drank  and drugged and wrecked cars and went to prison, and etc., etc., etc., for over half of my 45 years on earth.  My eyes are even better and I'm not afraid of being blind any time soon anymore. I have a wonderful, smart and beautiful wife I love and who loves me. That last part never ceases to amaze me. And thought I don't have any biological offspring of my own, I have two amazing adult step children I love and am proud of and a grandson who is beyond a blessing. I have been clean and sober for six and a half years and despite everything that seems either wrong or not as good as I'd prefer and the pain I am in, I have no desire to drink or drug today.  That my Dear Reader is a miracle of epic proportions. As far as I know, everyone I love in my life who was alive yesterday is alive this morning. Last but not least, I have a God who made all of that possible and who loves me and wants to have relationship with me, in spite of who I am and all I've done wrong. He loves me as I am and not as I should be, but He loves me enough not to leave me as I am.

I forgot to publish my five things that I am grateful for today on social media last night because of everything that was going on and how late it became before Leah and I got to even think about relaxing, but it wasn't because I was unaware of all that I have to be grateful for. I have an amazing life that is better than I ever thought it would be. I understand and am fully aware that I have been blessed. and that I have more and a much better life than I deserve. Knowing that I have it better than many around the world though doesn't mean it doesn't still hurt when things are hard and painful. I know that I am blessed, but I still wouldn't mind it at all if my penny were a little shinier. In fact, I would really like that. Any time now. Please.

I don't have all the answers. I don't know how to make it all better. I can't fix these situations. They are not in my control, and some of them, at least one, were actually caused by my mismanagement while trying to run my own life. I don't know what to tell you if you're suffering and want to know how to make it not hurt. I don't know what to tell my friend who lost his son. I know enough to know there are no magic words that can take that pain away. I don't think that kind of pain is supposed to be avoided or numbed, but rather to be shared and traveled through. There is pain in the bitter winds that blow across the Winter Way of Grief, but there's something  beautiful in the journey as well, It can't be explained or described to anyone who hasn't been there any more than ice covered trees can be described in all their sensory and emotional aspects to someone who has lived their life in the Sahara. But there is beauty there, and even bittersweet joy as we learn to walk closely against the harsh winds with our Comforter and our salty tears melt the ice and water the ground for new life in the coming spring.

No. I don't  know all the answers. I don't know any magic formulae to make suffering not feel like, well, suffering. I don't know the trick to not feeling overwhelmed when the tides of life beat you into the rocks again and again and again without letting you catch your breath, much less escape. I don't know how Joni Eareckson Tada has lived in a wheelchair as a quadriplegic for 49 years, after breaking her neck in a swimming accident as a young woman in her late teens, with a smile that reaches her eyes and an assurance of God's love for her, even  though Daddy didn't heal her and give her the ability to walk, or at least the use of her hands. She even ended up with breast cancer six years ago and had to fight that, and yet she remains assured she is loved by God and has a beautiful joy about her. I guess she could be wearing a mask and faking it, but if so, that's amazing in itself. What a commitment to the act! 49 years! I couldn't do it. I know even less how to do that than I do to get where she appears to be. I tried and self destructed in a few years. I can't imagine half a century of faking joy and peace and believing  you're loved. I don't know how she does what she does or how Nick Vujicic, who was born without arms and legs, or the Christian parents watching their children die of starvation or any of the many others who truly suffer and make my problems appear as trivial as those of a pampered child whose dinner is a little late because he stubbed his toe on the way to the table go though their day aware of and assure of God's love for them.

I want to know. No, I don't. Yes, I do. I'd rather not. Yes, yes I would. I want to know because I am beginning to learn it, like it or not. I know that the answer has to do with running to Daddy instead of away from Him. Today I am a snitch.  It used to be that when my brothers and sisters would bully me, hurt me, lie to me, boss me around and beat me up I would try to hurt them back or run away from them, and I would blame Daddy and get as mad at Him as I was at them. Now I run to Him and tattle. When I do that, He comforts me, and He promised me He'd deal with their hearts, attitudes and behavior. Yeah, I have learned Daddy they're picking on me will You spend some time with just me so  I  feel loved? works so much better for my life and how I feel than Daddy they're mean to me so I hate You.

Today when the people down the street who aren't my brothers start picking on me I snitch. I don't feel the need to fight them. I don't have to argue with them and give them reason for their animosity. I don't have to do what I was always more likely to do anyway, which is try to be like them and get them to like and accept me so that they wouldn't be mean. It didn't work with my brothers and sisters, but hey, it's a lot easier to raise hell than serve heaven on your own determination and strength. Today I run to Daddy, and His love for me makes it easier to accept that not everyone else is going to love me, or accept me or even be polite and nice. and that's OK, even though it still hurts and makes me sad sometimes.

Today I know that even if I'm the one who broke it, I can run to Daddy. Daddy, I'm sad because I broke my toy, my car, my life, my whatever. Maybe He fixes it. Maybe He doesn't fix it because He wants to give me something better. Maybe He doesn't fix it because He wants me to learn that there are consequences to my actions. Maybe He doesn't fix it because I can actually be better without it than with it. Maybe He doesn't fix it because it will heal or repair itself. But fix it or not, He can give me a hug and tell me He loves me. Not once have I ever gone to God with something I broke and got anything remotely like a Now look what you've done! What am I going to do with you? I wish I had never adopted you! No. He's all, I know. And I know it hurts, but I forgive you and I love you.

Today, when the load is too heavy I don't have to quit or throw a fit about it not being fair that I have to deal with and carry so much. I don't have to believe or feel like I'm the unwanted and unappreciated foster kid taken in for labor and what I can bring to the family without really being included, wanted or loved, but I can remember (sometimes it takes a minute) that my Daddy loves me, and He chose to not only take me in but adopt me and make me really one of His children and that if I go to Him with my load He will help me carry it, or He will take it from me, or He will help me let it go.

It still feels overwhelming sometimes. It still makes me cry every once in a while. I still hurts. It still sucks. I still feel afraid from time to time that it's not going to get better and that I won't survive it, much less overcome it. I don't fear the evil as I walk, but I do wonder now and again if I will die in the Valley of the Shadow. I still sometimes can't feel His arms around me when I go into shock after being beaten into the rocks by another wave and wonder if He's holding me and listening to my cries as I struggle to breathe. My life may not be as hard as yours, or it may be much more difficult. It doesn't matter. Your pain and hardship level doesn't have anything to do with mine, and mine has nothing to do with yours. Suffering is suffering. I don't know how to make it not hurt. I tried for years and only made it worse. I know that self pity won't make it better and is even dangerous, but I still can't help breaking my diet, no feeding on self allowed (I'm allergic), sometimes and binging on feeling sorry for myself sometimes, even knowing it'll make me miserable.

But I'm learning that I don't have to feel sorry for myself, and I don't have to make it stop hurting, and I don't even have to fix it. I don't know how to escape it, but I'm learning how to share it with the Comforter. I'm learning to see beauty in other hard and dangerous roads other than the Winter Way of Grief as I travel them with my Daddy. Yes, I know the direction to go. I know that the only way to learn the answer is to go through  it. And I know that there's a reason why the Holy Spirit, who was promised us, is called Comforter and not Mr. Fix It.

And I know this song, I Still Believe, always seems to inspire and encourage me. The original version by The Call is great, and the cover by Russ Taff is better than the original, but my favorite version of it will always be the Tim Capello cover used on the soundtrack for The Lost Boys. I highly recommend checking it out. Be blessed, Dead Reader, and may your suffering be short, but if you have to suffer, you don't have to do it alone. You can share it with the Comforter.

Unshackled Life Ministries is grateful for every person that reads the daily Unshackled Moments and or listens to the messages. I want to thank those who have clicked "like" on something that blessed or ministered to them. It is encouraging to know that God is using this ministry to help and bless others. Please remember that if God used something from this ministry to help, encourage or bless you, it could also bless someone else. Would you help get the devotions to more people by sharing the Moments and messages that you read or listen to? Hitting the share button instead of or in addition to the like button will help us reach more people with the good news of freedom and the encouragement to live an Unshackled Life. Thank you and God bless.

If you would like to have notifications of new Unshackled Moments and messages sent to you via email, send an email to dalynwoodard@mail.com requesting to be added to the list. You can also follow Dalyn Woodard (@Dalynsmsings) on Twitter or Unshackled Life Ministries on Facebook.

Grace Isn't Easy

Dalyn Woodard shares on the subject of grace and a common misconception shared by many that gracefulness is effortless. What is gracefulness and what does it cost?  The message, "Grace Isn't Easy" is about 47 minutes long and was recorded at Nacogdoches Christian Fellowship on Wednesday, October 19, 2016. It's our prayer that you are blessed and ministered to as you listen. May God bless and keep you.

Unshackled Life Ministries is grateful for every person that reads the daily Unshackled Moments and or listens to the messages. I want to thank those who have clicked "like" on something that blessed or ministered to them. It is encouraging to know that God is using this ministry to help and bless others. Please remember that if God used something from this ministry to help, encourage or bless you, it could also bless someone else. Would you help get the devotions to more people by sharing the Moments and messages that you read or listen to? Hitting the share button instead of or in addition to the like button will help us reach more people with the good news of freedom and the encouragement to live an Unshackled Life. Thank you and God bless.

If you would like to have notifications of new Unshackled Moments and messages sent to you via email, send an email to dalynwoodard@mail.com requesting to be added to the list. You can also follow Dalyn Woodard (@Dalynsmsings) on Twitter or Unshackled Life Ministries on Facebook.