I know that I've mentioned this before, but I love football. I'm pretty crazy about it. I get animated. I shout in joy and triumph when the team I am rooting for makes an amazing play. I roar in frustration and disgust when things go against us. And yes, I say my team as though I own it and we (We're about to score) as though I am somehow involved and a part of the struggle.
This past Saturday afternoon I stretched out on the bed to watch my team, the Texas Tech Red Raiders, play TCU. Yes, they are my team. I finished my degree at Tech, even though I received it from SFA. I leaned back against my back rest and watched the game on the television in the bedroom. It was crazy close, and the lead kept changing, almost with every possession. It was very exciting to me.
No, as much as I love football, especially college football, my wife does not. Leah is at best indifferent and ambivalent, but she'll tell you that she hates football. She just doesn't understand why her husband gets so psycho and obsessive about something so silly and for the most part boring. But while she doesn't understand the why, she understands that I do love football. So she tries to be supportive and has never once asked me not to waste our time on such triviality. When I talk about it, I sound like an adult in the world of Charlie Brown to her, but she really tries to hear what I am saying. It helps her pay attention if I throw an "I love you" in the middle of the blah, blah, Red Raiders, blah. She knows that I love her more than I do the watching sports, and I limit myself to one college and one pro game a week most weeks during the all too short season of play. But while that self-imposed restriction seems like I barely watch football to me, it feels like a whole lost of football to her.
The question is how to spend time together without making her miserable and without making the watching the game less enjoyable for me. So sometimes she sits beside me and plays on the computer or reads a book while I watch the game. But Saturday she lay down beside me and rested her head on my chest in the same position that she gets in to cuddle with me while we watch movies. If I didn't know better I would have thought that she was actually going to watch the game with me. A few minutes later I felt her breathing change as she drifted off to sleep with her head against me and my arm around her. I watched the game, but I never lost my awareness of her presence and that she was resting against me. When things went well for the Red Raiders I raised my free hand in celebration, but did so in such a way as to not disturb Leah. When they went poorly, I stilled myself and checked my reactions. There was no yelling. No reaction was allowed through the filter of my love for Leah and my desire not to disturb her.
This awareness and restraint didn't take away from my enjoyment of the game. In fact, it made it wonderful. I loved every minute of that time with Leah napping on me while I watched football. I got to enjoy being with her and totally aware of her presence and watch the game at the same time. But what's the point? Why share this?
Well, it occurred to me that the time shared with Leah is representative of time with God. There are times of praise and worship that are dedicated to Him and making conscious contact with Him, just like there are times with Leah when nothing is going on but us and our relationship. Morning quiet time, evening reflection, church, prayer throughout the day are all times when the attention is on Him. But there are also times throughout the day when our attention is on other things. I'm not talking about something bad. We need to work and focus on our tasks, and we need to pay attention to the relationships in our life. There are other things that we do that aren't wrong, but if we are not careful we can become so engaged in them that we forget that the Father is right there with us. I want to become as aware or His presence with me, even during times of other activity, as I was of Leah napping against my chest Saturday. I want that awareness of His presence to enhance the experiences of the day. I want to be so filled with the peace and joy of His presence and so full of love toward Him that keeping that awareness is easy and keeping my reactions in check is as natural to me as having them in the first place. I believe that we can have that. It's all in remembering that I love Leah more than football and being with her and pleasing her is more important than any game that makes it easy to sacrifice time I would spend on self for her and makes it easy to put her first, even if it means I can't yell "Touchdown!" And it's all in remembering that our love for God is greater than the pleasure or the responsibility of anything else and that being close to Him and pleasing Him is the whole point of life, the universe and everything that we can do everything as unto the Lord and stay aware of Him at all times, in all things.
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