Unshackled Moments ~ January 7 ~ More Than I'm Sorry

In my experience, reaching step nine comes with either a hesitation that can bring things to a standstill if allowed or a rip-the-Band-Aide-off rush. Both can get us in trouble. We have our list of people we've hurt. The next logical progression is to make the amends that we became willing to make in step eight. Scary? Yes, it can be. Which is the reason it is so common to hesitate or rush to get it done and over with. It can be quite frightening to face people we've avoided, to swallow our pride and admit our wrong, to ask what we can do, if anything, to make it right. There are so many what ifs involved that sometimes it feels like we could do anything else to gain our freedom, anything but this.

There are a few things that help when it comes time to clean up our part of the wreckage of the past. The first is found in the wording of the ninth step itself, regardless of what 12-Step program is involved. All who use the steps add to this one that we make our amends except when to do so will hurt the people we are making amends to or others. Others is not us. It's not about avoiding our pain or discomfort. The point is that we are trying to make right the damage we've done in the past, and you can't do that by doing more damage. We do not ever have the right to lighten our load at the expense of another.

Most of the fear comes from the idea that we may look bad, or that we may be rejected or attacked. Well, it's possible we might look bad, after all we are there to admit that we did something that caused someone harm in some way. That looks bad. Don't make excuses. Don't explain it away, justify what was done or try to spin it were it looks like it's not that bad or not really your fault. The more we talk, the more likely we are to try to squirm out of the blame. I can't help but think of an NFL team  general manager who was fired this week. He held a press conference and accepted full responsibility for every player hired, traded for, drafted, etc. under his tenure, even though he didn't make the decisions alone and other staff were involved and...It was like he said to the press I accept full responsibility for all this stuff that wasn't my fault. That's not accepting responsibility.

And it's not just trying to justify or shift blame that we are to avoid. We don't attack. Often people we've hurt have also hurt us. Sometimes they hurt us first. We don't go to them and say anything like after you did such and such to me I retaliated by hurting you. No. Leave their part out of it. We might look all the worse, but we are clean before our Lord and forgiven. Don't hide in shame and don't try to make the past look better.

But what if they are mean to us or reject us? It could happen. Remember that we are not there to be accepted. We are not there to be forgiven. We are not there to look good. We are simply trying to clean up our mess. How they respond is on them and between them and God. If they tell us to get lost and never contact them again, have we really lost? We've probably been avoiding the confrontation for a while anyway. If there is reason to fear a physical attack, meet in public and take someone with you. But don't let how someone else may react keep you from doing what's right and what will set you free of fear and shame you might not have even realized was holding you down.

Ask God to guide you through this process so that we don't draw it out longer than it should take or rush into a situation before we're ready. Forgive their part, if they have any, before meeting them. Accept forgiveness from God for your part. But don't balk here. This is the step where the past really begins to lose its hold on us and becomes the word of our testimony that can be used to help others and give God glory. Restore what can be restored, repay what can be repaid and do more than say I'm sorry whenever possible. Humble yourself, swallow your pride, admit and take responsibility for your part without excuse, blame shifting or spin and offer to make it right, and you will be surprised how much healing can be accomplished before the job is done. It is as freeing and relieving as it can be frightening.

Unshackled Life Ministries is grateful for every person that reads the daily Unshackled Moments and or listens to the messages. I want to thank those who have clicked "like" on something that blessed or ministered to them. It is encouraging to know that God is using this ministry to help and bless others. Please remember that if God used something from this ministry to help, encourage or bless you, it could also bless someone else. Would you help get the devotions to more people by sharing the Moments and messages that you read or listen to? Hitting the share button instead of or in addition to the like button will help us reach more people with the good news of freedom and the encouragement to live an Unshackled Life. Thank you and God bless.

Unshackled Moments ~ January 6 ~ The Caterpillar's Wake

Yesterday I used the butterfly analogy to take us through step seen of the twelve steps to freedom from bondage. As we go on to step eight I will continue the analogy. Caterpillars eat their way through life until they begin their transformation into the butterfly, leaving holes in the world around them and destruction behind them. We do the same. Before we come to the place of surrender to God we live selfish self centered lives. Yes, we may manage to do some good, but as we look out for number one, we munch our way through life leaving holes and destruction in the world and the lives around us, Unlike the caterpillar we cannot simply transform and go on as though that old life never existed. There is the burden of guilt and shame that simply knowing we are forgiven by God does not completely alleviate.  Also the other caterpillars and butterflies remember our past and it hinders our ability to bring life and be of service.

The work we did to reach this point will have brought to mind damage we have done and people we have hurt. In order to be of maximum service to God and others and in order to be totally free, we must accept responsibility and acknowledge what we've done/ Another way to say this is that we make a list of people we have harmed and become willing to make amends to them all. Yes, in order to be free we must do more than simply turn away from our old way of life. We have to be willing to make things right as much as possible. This is not to earn our forgiveness. God forgives us already, and those we hurt may not ever do so. This is to verify that we are becoming something different than what we were, It gets our wreckage out of the way so that something better can be built. It reminds us that our actions have consequences and makes us think before we act selfishly, and it opens the door to show to those who have seen us at our worst to see the power and glory of God in the lives of those who are willing to let Him have control. Making things right, seeking to do more than mumble an apology can be the greatest witness we have of the better way of life that we have found, We need not shy away from this, sometimes embarrassing part of the process.

Unshackled Life Ministries is grateful for every person that reads the daily Unshackled Moments and or listens to the messages. I want to thank those who have clicked "like" on something that blessed or ministered to them. It is encouraging to know that God is using this ministry to help and bless others. Please remember that if God used something from this ministry to help, encourage or bless you, it could also bless someone else. Would you help get the devotions to more people by sharing the Moments and messages that you read or listen to? Hitting the share button instead of or in addition to the like button will help us reach more people with the good news of freedom and the encouragement to live an Unshackled Life. Thank you and God bless.

Unshackled Moments ~ January 5 ~ Butterfly

My Creator, I am now willing that you should have all of me, good and bad. I pray that you now remove from me every single defect of character which stands in the way of my usefulness to you and my fellows. Grant me strength as, I go out from here, to do your bidding. Amen.

The above prayer is called the seventh step prayer, and no, we don't have to pray this as written. Sometimes using standard or written prayers seems less personal than we think our prayers should be. There is some truth in that, but there's something to be said for something that has been thought out and written down, even in personal conversations.

I'l give an example as a quick aside, and then I'll get back on topic. The other day my wife apologized, and I asked her for what. Her response was that she felt sorry that she was sick. I told her that I was sorry that she was sick and that I wish I could make it all better. The Lupes had been doing a number on her, and she was understandably discouraged. Then she said, "You didn't sign up for this [her having an incurable illness and being sick often]."

"Yes, I did," I responded.

"You did?"

"Yes," and this is where the prepared became more powerful than anything I could think of at that moment, even in an intimate and personal conversation. "For richer or poorer, in sickness and in health." Now the truth is that we wrote our own vows and did not say those prepared lines at the start of our marriage, but they are so well known that they still said exactly what I meant. Leah's my wife, I love her, and I signed on for whatever may come as long as it's with her for as long as God lets me breathe. Period.

So, yes, we can say the seventh step prayer our own way, and in our own words. I usually pray it saying Daddy rather than Creator in all honesty. But there's something powerful about this prayer as it is written. It gets to the point, and it leaves nothing out, and it means I surrender and give God permission. I mentioned at the beginning that the third step to freedom is surrender. Yesterday I went on to say that no lasting change can be made without our being willing to let God change us, mold us and remove from us everything and anything that He wants and needs to. Here at step seven, we check ourselves and see how real that surrender and willingness is. The truth is that none of us can surrender and agree to be molded 100%. None of us are ever, at least not on any consistent basis for any long period of time,  ready to have God remove everything about us and in us that runs on our will rather than His. We like being the caterpillar sometimes, and are a little afraid that once we totally and completely become the butterfly we won't be us anymore. We believe it will be less pleasurable and fulfilling to fly with a purpose than to crawl through the mulch munching leaves. So, we hold onto parts of our old nature as though it were a legitimate act of self defense to do so.

Humility is not groveling. It is not humiliation. It is important. It is to remain teachable and having the desire to seek and do God's will instead of our own. Humility is therefore key to the ability to surrender It is the main ingredient to producing the willingness we need to let God mold and shape and make of us what He wills.. And, humility is not some magic virtue that suddenly appears in our lives. Humility is a choice.

Humility is the choice behind the choice that Jesus tells us to make every single day. We must first decide that God's ways are not just different than our ways but better, agree with our Creator that the life of the butterfly is better than the life of the caterpillar. We have to come to the place where we realize popular wisdom is wrong and that it is better to serve on earth and in heaven than it is to rule in hell. Then we can agree to any cost we have to count, any trouble that we need to endure, take up our cross (willingly walk onto the platform of our own hanging and die to self) and follow wherever He leads us, knowing that it always leads to death of self and our will before it leads to the life that's worth living and never ends.

This prayer, this step, is an expression of humility and an accumulation of all the journey that precedes it.  Daddy, Lord, Master, Creator. I can't do anything worth anything on my own, and I can't ever be good enough or in control enough or unselfish enough. I need help. I give you all of me, the good and the bad because I'm not holding anything back, nothing is mine, I am completely and totally Yours to do with what You will, because I know that whatever else that entails it also means helping me to be free from the bondage that's become normal in my life. It means that I get to fly and serve, like a butterfly that spreads life as it goes from flower to flower.  I am willing and give you full permission, I even ask that You take away anything and everything from me and out of me that would get in the way of me being who You want me to be and doing what You want me to do today. I can't even want this without Your grace, so I ask for the strength to do Your will, which includes the surrendering that I am now doing. Help me as I leave here and go about my day. Amen.

Yeah, we could do something like that, but isn't it all covered and easily said with
My Creator, I am now willing that you should have all of me, good and bad. I pray that you now remove from me every single defect of character which stands in the way of my usefulness to you and my fellows. Grant me strength as, I go out from here, to do your bidding. Amen.

If we were willing yesterday, let us put that willingness into action today. Let us surrender, die to self and follow Him, no matter what that means or where that leads, no matter what He needs to change or remove in order for us to do that? I promise life is better as the butterfly. Oh, and we're not let us, but more us. The caterpillar is the larvae stage of the butterfly. Who the caterpillar is has always been the preparation for what it will become. But the butterfly is the completion. It is who it is. We are not less who we are when we die to self as weird as it may seem. When we are completely transformed into the new creation God is making of our lives only then will we feel totally satisfied and content, because only then we will be the most us that we can ever be.

Unshackled Life Ministries is grateful for every person that reads the daily Unshackled Moments and or listens to the messages. I want to thank those who have clicked "like" on something that blessed or ministered to them. It is encouraging to know that God is using this ministry to help and bless others. Please remember that if God used something from this ministry to help, encourage or bless you, it could also bless someone else. Would you help get the devotions to more people by sharing the Moments and messages that you read or listen to? Hitting the share button instead of or in addition to the like button will help us reach more people with the good news of freedom and the encouragement to live an Unshackled Life. Thank you and God bless.

Unshackled Moments ~ January 4 ~ Ready, Set...

This may sound like the most obvious statement, but the only way to make any permanent changes in our lives is to want to change, or rather to be truly willing to be changed.  Remember all the stuff we found, the habitual things that we have done over and over, the patterns of walking outside of the wil of God? Ready to let that go? Of course, that why we're doing this, right. No, not usually.

From my experience in doing and seeing this sort of thing, it usually begins with a desire to change one thing that we most times don't care for about ourselves or that others don't like about us or that keeps us in tight spots with family, employers, the law, etc. Half the time, give or take 4-% we don't really want to change that one thing at first. What we would much rather do is suddenly be able to control what is now controlling us and or to engage in the behavior, whatever that behavior might be, with impunity, without negative consequences.

But when we finally come to a place of brokenness and realize that we're never going to have either of those options, we agree, often reluctantly, to change, to give it up, to quit. That's not really wanting to be changed, and we haven't even started on the rest. What about the other things we saw and realized about ourselves when we took that honest inventory and when we spoke to someone else about it? Well, I don't see what my anger and insecurity have to do with my spending money I can't afford to spend, or my drinking, or my laziness or my.... Just for the sake of argument, let's pretend that's the case. All the other things we learned and discovered have nothing to do with the one thing that we need desperately to be set free from, whatever that may be. Can we at least be honest enought to admit that we see where they've caused us problems and or damage? Can we see where they have brought harm to others and to our relationships with others?

In that case, even if they have nothing to do with the bondage we are trying to address, there is no question they are part of our normal life outside the will of God. That's bondage too. The chains that bid us are all linked together with anything and everything that we refuse to surrender to God. Everything that we continue to do out of habit or self will or desire that is not what God wants us to do is bondage, whether it feels bad yet or not. We claim to have surrendered our will and life over to Christ's care. As the song says,

I have decided to follow Jesus, no turning back, no turning back. The cross before me, the world behind me, no turning back. 

The world that we are walking away from includes our will and way of ruling our own life. This is where we find out how serious we were about the whole Lord, I give you my life to use and to do with as You please. I surrender idea. If we were honestly at a place of surrender and still are, then the list of things that hurt and hinder our relationship with our Creator is something we are going to want Him to change about us. The things that make that surrender difficult we're going to be desperate to let go of. And if we are not ready, we must pray and ask to be made ready and willing to let go and have all the things that are outside His will for us removed from us.

Having that moment of brokenness and clarity where we realize that we're slaves is not that huge an event really. I've seen and been the kind of drinker who knows he can't quit and just says something to the effect of oh well, I'm a drunk, and drunks drink. That man or woman may see their chains, and in a moment of pain or fear of some consequence, may realize that only God can help as they pray and pretend to surrender forever if only God will remove the consequence of whatever mess or trouble they have placed themselves in. We even have a morbid fascination with self examination at times, that can just be used as an excuse to continue in bondage. My life has always been this way. I do this every time. There's no point in trying to fight it or change. This is just who I am. We can even admit that to someone else. None of that brings about change. None of that will set us free.

The point where freedom begins is where we become willing to let God change the things about ourselves that our outside of His will, that are damaging our relationship with Him, whether we hate or whether we love that attitude, behavior, activity, sin. If we were ready when we surrendered, some change may have    already occurred, but no lasting freedom can be found without this sixth step. Do you want to be free? If so, then you have to be willing to let God make whatever changes He deems necessary to set you and keep you free. Not ready, but still want to be free? Ask God to make you willing to submit to His molding willingly. You're stuck until then. No real progress can be made without the willingness to let God change us, so if we refuse to do that, we might as well shift our chains around to the most comfortable position we can manage and resign ourselves to staying slaves. Freedom is waiting though, calling out name. His name is Jesus. He says if we're tired of those chains we can come to Him and trade them in for something light and easy to carry.

Unshackled Life Ministries is grateful for every person that reads the daily Unshackled Moments and or listens to the messages. I want to thank those who have clicked "like" on something that blessed or ministered to them. It is encouraging to know that God is using this ministry to help and bless others. Please remember that if God used something from this ministry to help, encourage or bless you, it could also bless someone else. Would you help get the devotions to more people by sharing the Moments and messages that you read or listen to? Hitting the share button instead of or in addition to the like button will help us reach more people with the good news of freedom and the encouragement to live an Unshackled Life. Thank you and God bless.

Unshackled Moments ~ January 3 ~ Time To Confess

He who covers his sins will not prosper, But whoever confesses and forsakes them will have mercy.

- Psalm 28:13

We've realized there are things that we struggle with that we can't control, came to believe that God has the power to free us and surrendered the fight to Him. Then we took an honest look with His help at who we are, who we've been and what we need to exorcise from our life. Now it's time to get seriously serious, time to confess.

It's almost un-American to suggest such a thing. It goes against how we perceive our rights. Well, there is a way to approach that part of the problem. It is to accept the concept that we don't really have any rights. If we have truly surrendered our will and lives to the Lordship of Christ, then we are His servants to command. We obey. Period. Boy that sticks in the craw sometimes doesn't it? The only rights that we have are the rights that He gives us.

Those are some pretty awesome rights. We have the right to go right into the presence of God and fellowship with Him. We have the right to be His child. And we also have the right not to remain silent. That's right. We have the right not to remain silent. That's a miraculous blessing.

It's human nature to try to hide our sin, even Adam and Eve tried. The more spiritual we want to be, the more tempting it can be to keep our dirty laundry out of sight. Wouldn't it hurt our witness if people realize that we struggle with darkness and our carnal human nature even after we've become a Christian? Well no. It's not the struggle that hurts the witness. It's the surrender to sin that does. People hide the dirt, and it becomes a fertile ground for shame. And shame cripples us.

You can't step out and do such and such for God! What will people say when they realize you did such and such, when they learn that you are a this or that? Yes, God knows. We've honestly looked at ourselves and we know God knows. But for some reason God decided that wasn't enough. He made it a part of grace, which is the power to be free, and a part of healing to confess our sins, our mistakes and our screw ups to another person.

Confess your trespasses to one another, and pray for one another, that you may be healed. The effective, fervent prayer of a righteous man avails much. 

- James 5:16

Confession to another person sets us free from fear and shame and the threat the enemy holds over us that keeps us powerless to serve God freely and courageously. There is no more, what if people find out? It also requires we put spiritual pride to death and humble ourselves. It gives someone the ability to encourage us, pray for our healing, and to hold us accountable to our commitment to surrender our will and way to God. It enables our healing, frees us, and puts a powerful weapon in our hand. We overcome bondage and the enemy by the blood of the Lamb (Christ) and the word of our testimony (our story, the sharing in the light what would normally be hidden in shame for the glory of God).

Now, we mustn't be foolish about it. Some things we should speak with to only one or two trusted people that have the spiritual life we respect and see the work of God in. We don't free ourselves at the expense of others, so we don't shout from the rooftops things that would hurt others. But there needs to be one or two that know us and can keep our struggle in prayer and hold us accountable.

It sounds scary, and it is. But is an amazing freedom when it's done. We find ourselves so much lighter. There is rest from the burden that those who must go through their life hiding their secret shame can never know. Yes, praise God, we have to grace and the right not to remain silent.

Unshackled Life Ministries is grateful for every person that reads the daily Unshackled Moments and or listens to the messages. I want to thank those who have clicked "like" on something that blessed or ministered to them. It is encouraging to know that God is using this ministry to help and bless others. Please remember that if God used something from this ministry to help, encourage or bless you, it could also bless someone else. Would you help get the devotions to more people by sharing the Moments and messages that you read or listen to? Hitting the share button instead of or in addition to the like button will help us reach more people with the good news of freedom and the encouragement to live an Unshackled Life. Thank you and God bless.

Unshackled Moments ~ January 2 ~ Cleaning Out The Fridge

Search me, O God, and know my heart; Try me, and know my anxieties; And see if there is any wicked way in me, And lead me in the way everlasting.

- Psalm 139:23-24

Like many, from time to time at the Woodard home we have to clean out the refrigerator. If things are left in there after their time, it causes problems. Food poisoning is not fun, but that can usually be avoided by smelling the milk and checking to see if the food has become a science project. Sometimes cleaning out the fridge isn't as much about what has gone bad and will make someone sick. Sometimes it's about making room. It's full, and there's no room to put what we need to inside.

Let's face it. Sometimes things haven't really gotten to the point of gross bad, but rather than take them out and dispose of them we push them to the back and forget about them or ignore them. Somethings may not be bad as such but we haven't used them for days or weeks and likely never will. They need to go so that there's room for food that will be used.

Our lives are like that at times too. There are times when we need to take a look at ourselves, to take stock of what's right and what is doing us and others harm.  Knowing when our spiritual lives have soured or grown moldy is critical to getting free and clean. But afterwords we still need to empty ourselves and make room for the things that God wants to give us. It's not that their bad as such, but what we're looking at can't be used to make the great things that God wants to make of our lives or just aren't as good as the blessing He wants to fill us with.

It's with these lesser inventories we can need the most help. Invariably when I clean out the fridge there is at least once I ask Leah, is such and such still good? Or are you going to use the... See, Leah is an awesome cook, and she can take leftovers and make better than the first times with some of them. She does amazing things with food I would trash at times. And then there are times when I think maybe she wants something to stay and she says Oh no. I'm not ever going to use that. Throw it out.  I defer to her judgement on such things, and I have never once regretted it. Sometimes there are things in my life that I think are still good. Maybe God can even use that aspect of my attitude and life to a good purpose. But when I get His thoughts on it, He says. No. I'm not using that. Throw it out..And there are things I don't like about myself that I wish desperately to change, to get rid of, and He says, no, this I can use. I'll give you the grace to endure.

Self examination is important and a good place to start, but we can never do it good enough on our own. If you are ready to be of more use to God and to get out of His way to make room for more life worth living, then it's time to invite God into the examination process. Lord, search our hearts and minds to see what you want to use, what you want to change, what you want to discard. Help us to remember to ask You about our inventory.

Unshackled Life Ministries is grateful for every person that reads the daily Unshackled Moments and or listens to the messages. I want to thank those who have clicked "like" on something that blessed or ministered to them. It is encouraging to know that God is using this ministry to help and bless others. Please remember that if God used something from this ministry to help, encourage or bless you, it could also bless someone else. Would you help get the devotions to more people by sharing the Moments and messages that you read or listen to? Hitting the share button instead of or in addition to the like button will help us reach more people with the good news of freedom and the encouragement to live an Unshackled Life. Thank you and God bless.

Unshackled Moments ~ January 1 ~ Biographies Are Better

Last night my stepdaughter posted this quote on Facebook: Tomorrow is the first blank page of a 365 page book. Write a good one. - Brad Paisley It's a good quote, and I liked it.

My instinctive reaction was yes, I want to make this year a good one and write a great story. Then I remembered. I spent years writing my own stories, and they were never good ones.

When I hold the pen of my life the story never turns out to be much worth reading. My life has never been worth living during the times when I insisted on holding the pen and ruling my own life. I have written horror stories, crime novels, plenty of noir  and the sad tales of the junkie and the drunk. Disasters? Yeah, I've written plenty of those as well. Depression, angst and suicide were common themes of the stories I wrote on my own. My teen years could have been scripts for after school specials on how not to live your life. In my  twenties I graduated to bad Lifetime movie scripts where I starred in my stories as the bad guy who wrecked his own life and the lives of everyone around him. The thirties turned into a prison drama.

Looking back at the books I have written does not inspire me to pick up the pen again. Yesterday I wrote of the  Frist Step to freedom and a life worth living. It's a journey I began seven years ago by putting down the pen and giving God permission to be the author of my life. The way my story went began to change, and within a few chapters I discovered a life worth living. The books God has written since have been so much better for me and the lives of those in my life.

We simply can not control our own lives. It doesn't work out well when we try. We find ourselves in various forms of slavery and bondage, leaving destruction and chaos scattered throughout almost every chapter. We can't set ourselves free or write a great story for ourselves. Steps two and three are all about the sequel being better than the first series. Once we realize that our books have at best been less than satisfactory reads, we come to a place where we realize there is an Author much better qualified than us. He is the most creative and talented writer ever. His words spoke the creation into existence and breathed life into the world. His tales are glorious and full of love, hope, peace and joy.

It's like writing a series of books for years where even the best ones are amateurish and full of mistakes. Then, when you start thinking it might be better to scrap the series and start over, the greatest writer imaginable reaches out and says He's interested in your story. He wants to take it over, write a masterpiece. He's not going to scrap the stories that have been. They will be incorporated, and the story will still be uniquely flavored with your original style. But when we surrender and let God hold the pen, the writing becomes beautiful.

I can't write a good story with my life. I have tried and failed so many times. God can. He has proved it. I think I will let Him continue to write it, a simple expression of steps one through three toward a new life, a better life, a life of freedom, a life worth living. Today as the new year begins and we imagine the 366 days (It's a leap year) as a book of blank pages, let us all lay down our ens and let God write the story. I promise it will read so much better than anything we can write on our own.

Unshackled Life Ministries is grateful for every person that reads the daily Unshackled Moments and or listens to the messages. I want to thank those who have clicked "like" on something that blessed or ministered to them. It is encouraging to know that God is using this ministry to help and bless others. Please remember that if God used something from this ministry to help, encourage or bless you, it could also bless someone else. Would you help get the devotions to more people by sharing the Moments and messages that you read or listen to? Hitting the share button instead of or in addition to the like button will help us reach more people with the good news of freedom and the encouragement to live an Unshackled Life. Thank you and God bless.