Unshackled Moments ~ May 6 ~ "Praying For You," Encouragement Or Attack?

Yesterday I received a text that simply told me that the sender was praying for me and what the prayers were for. There's no question that prayers effect this plane, whether those we pray for know we are praying or don't know. But that simple text gave me encouragement at a point when I felt discouraged. It reminded me that I am cared for and loved. It helped me remember that Jesus is the answer. It blessed me and lifted my spirit.

I remember years ago a friend of mine went on a rant in a letter about how angry she got whenever someone told her that they're praying for her. She saw it as an attack, that those people didn't love her but rather sought to control and force change through supernatural means. She relayed the message of these unsolicited prayers as being along the lines of them saying "I'm praying that you stop being a worthless sinner," and "I'm praying that God overrides you're will and makes you act like I want you to act." Unfortunately, she had a valid point.

We need to pray for others, both our Christian brothers and sisters and those we know who are not believers. But we need to be sure of our motives also. Prayer is not a way to control others. It's not some spell that overrides free will. But crying out in love on behalf of the wounded and hurting is definitely something we are called to do. There are times, when our prayers should be kept to ourselves. Telling someone in bondage that you are praying that they come to place where they see the need and have the desire to get free may indeed come from a place of love more than attempt to control them, but unless they are at that point, the information is not likely to be seen as anything other than an attack. When we're sick we don't see things clearly. But there are times when letting someone know we're praying can be a blessing and encouragement. How to know the difference is something best left up to the direction of the Holy Spirit.

Understanding the Holy Spirit can help us make that choice. First why are we praying for that person? Is it because we are grieving over their pain or because thier actions are angering and inconveniencing us? If the former, keep praying for them. If the latter, repent, let God change our selfish motives to those of love and service and then keep praying for them. Is the knowledge that we're praying likely to encourage or make someone feel condemned, like they're not measuring up? If the latter, maybe we just need to change the way we express it. "I'm praying that you find peace and joy" is much easier to accept than "I'm praying that you stop engaging in self-destruction," but we have to stop being self-destructive to experience lasting and true peace and joy. Or maybe we need to wait to share our prayers. But whenever we can share that we are praying for someone in love in such a way that they will feel loved and encouraged, we should.

"Therefore comfort each other and edify one another...." 

1 Thessalonians 5:11