Today's Unshackled Echo was previously published as
Unshackled Moments ~ December 14 ~ Constructing A Greenhouse For Joy.
In addition to what was in Tuesday's Moment, Bridges Of Joy, one difference between happiness and joy is that happiness can be be constructed. Joy can't. You can put on a song that always makes you happy, or get together with certain family and friends with whom a good time is almost always had, or watch a guilty pleasure movie or any number of other things where you can manipulate the situation, and, as long as the obstacles are not too much and things go as planned during the process, you can construct happiness.a
In fact, that can be one of the problems with pursuing happiness past its borders. When life falls apart, our hearts get broken or the situation grows darker than the glow of happiness can reach, if we do not have or know where to find true joy, we often still try to create happiness in an environment where it can not exist. Since ice cream makes me happy, I'll sit here and make myself feel better by eating the whole container. But I don't feel better. I feel worse. Or sometimes a drink or three makes me happy, so I'll drink my cares away. But it doesn't work. Now I'm drunk, going to be sick and I'm crying in what's left of my beer. Or insert the distraction and instinct gratification of your choice and still feel miserable. There are things that happiness can not and should not be able to overcome.
Joy sustains us in the hard times as well as the good. It can endure through mourning and transform mourning into gladness, not by pretending there is no reason to mourn or by delusional thinking that somehow makes catastrophe OK, but by healing the heart and reminding us that our strength and ability to endure comes through relationship with God. Joy can not be constructed like happiness, because joy is not an emotion like happiness. Joy is alive. It has to come to us and grow within us. It comes as a gift of God, who can not be manipulated, so we can not make it come. But while we can not build, force or manipulate joy into being, we can construct the structure, a spiritual greenhouse if you will, that optimizes the growth and continued life of the joy that we are given.
When looking to convert our heart from selfish happiness seeker into a spiritual greenhouse for joy, it is important to remember the differences between happiness and joy. There is nothing wrong with doing things that make us happy, in and of themselves. God gave us the ability to be happy for a reason. But when we chase happiness rather than dealing with reality or while neglecting our responsibilities, to escape the pain of necessary grief and mourning, or to meet the need in our soul that only the Joy of the Lord can meet, there will be misery, problems and failure eventually.
First and most critical is that we must seek relationship with God through surrender of our life to His love and care. Job or no job, home or no home, car or no car, house or no house, health or sickness, married or single, etc., joy is not found in our circumstances. It is important to clean up our side of the street, and as we recover, many will find health, finances, relationships and more improving and changing for the better. But those improvements are not why we strive to recover and find freedom. The true purpose of freedom, like our purpose on the planet, is to seek and come to know God. It is through improving our conscious contact with Him that our joy will thrive. If our relationship with Him deteriorates, joy will begin to wither, no matter which or how many or how well we do anything else that helps joy grow. Jesus is the living water, and without water there is no life or joy.
Many of us have horrible reflections in our mental mirror. Self hatred is a weed that is resilient and chokes joy. Those who have read or listened to me minister often know that I am not someone who endorses the power of positive thinking, nor will I ever say I am OK, you're OK. Positive thinking that is not based on the truth of God is hollow and empty denial, and we're not OK. Not even close. Without the grace of God, each and every one of us fails to measure up. Not good enough. Never going to be. Can't pay the debts we've already accrued, and can't keep from going further in debt. Compared to the righteous, holy beauty of our Creator we are flawed and hideous and deformed by the curse of sin with which we were born. So no, I'm not OK as I am on my own and neither are you. We are not inherently good people.There is none good but God. We are inherently flawed and selfish.
That said, we shouldn't be hating on ourselves and hurting ourselves with behavior and thinking that demonstrates that we do not value who we are. We need to learn to look for our worth and value in places other than our lives outside of relationship with God. Daddy says we have value, great value. So much did He esteem our worth that He sent Jesus to be wrapped in flesh and die in our place. The worthiness of a perfect Savior was poured out on us, even as the hatred our worthlessness should inspire was poured out on Jesus. Jesus agreed with Daddy's evaluation so much that He willingly gave Himself to the will and plan of the Father. And the Spirit also agreed, showing it by actually making His home within us who were once filthy but are now clean before God.
Speaking of clean, we are forgiven, so stop beating yourself up about a past that the judge has declared off the docket. Everything we lack that we need in order to do what God has called us to do is available to us by grace, and our weaknesses actually show the glory of God and give Him honor. So stop hating yourself for insufficiency. He says we are fearfully and wonderfully made, so stop killing yourself trying to be something you're not or to fit a mold created by selfish, self seeking people rather than the unique mold that a God who loves you thoroughly as you are made to fit you. When you start seeing yourself through the eyes of Daddy's love and treating yourself as you would treat you neighbor (with the love and acceptance of Jesus by grace), then you will cease to hate yourself and trying to be something or someone else. The masks can come off. And joy in who we are in Christ can bloom into beauty.
But remember that we are not the only flower in the garden. As we learn to love ourselves with the love of Christ, by the grace of Christ, we must also love others with that love. Become a part of community. What community? That's between you and God. A recovery group, a volunteer organization, a church, a..... there are many options. But we need to be a part of something that requires sacrifice of ourselves and our time for the betterment of the whole, of others, and, yes, even of ourselves. Selfishness says I don't feel like it, I want to do my own thing, etc. Joy says I thrive in the love of Jesus, and that is given to you in order to give it others. As you have received help, freedom, relationship with God, love, and, yes, joy, freely give. And we can't give while we isolate.
The mercies of God are new every morning, and His forgiveness is complete, sure and forever. We are all held to the standard of perfection, and none of us can attain it. That's why we all need a Savior, why we all need the power of a God who is greater than us. Strive for perfection, remembering always that any ability we may have to even come close is only by grace in His might, power and wisdom, and not ours. But remember that He loves us as we are, not as we should be. This might sound like the value part of the building, and it is assuredly tied into that same corner. But there are far too many people killing themselves trying to be perfect, to present the image of never falling or struggling, of trying to be good enough. You can't. So quit trying and walk in the power of the Spirit by grace, and be as tolerant and forgiving with yourself as Jesus would have you be with someone else. Of course, the rest of the folks have long ago come to understand that they can't be good enough or anything other than a messed up, screw up and have quit trying completely. If you can't be good, be good at being bad. If you're doomed to failure, don't try. But we can walk with God by grace, in our weakness, He is shown to be strong. So quit using being human as an excuse to give in to self and walk in the power that we have through Him. When we walk by grace, not expecting some standard to be reached by us but still seeking to please God, we find our lives in the perfect climate for joy to bloom big, grace.
These are the biggies that I have learned. There are a few others that are related to and connected to these, finishing touches on the greenhouse, if you will. Tomorrow's moment [December 15~ Growing Joy] will look at the rest of the plans to construct a home for joy to dwell, grow and flourish.
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