Live With Abandon

"Chasing after this world makes me tired

Praisin' my own name leaves me dry

There's gotta be so much more to life than this

A higher calling that I missed

I want my life to count, every breath"

- Live With Abandon by The Newsboys

There was a point in all our lives where we realized that no matter how good we had it, that no matter if all our apparent needs were met, something was missing in our life. For some of us it may have been more that as bad as it was, we knew that life was not supposed to be this way, instinctively we knew there's got to be something more, that we needed more joy and less sorrow.

The way we responded to that moment of clarity and crisis determined the path our lives took and the way we thought about life, the world, others and ourselves. It also established how we thought about and responded to God, or if we even acknowledged Him at all. That moment was when we first started to realize that there was a hole in our lives. Moments like that may have been a one time thing or repeated often, depending on how we tried to deal with that hole. Whether we realized it or not, that hole in our hearts and lives was a God-shaped hole, and nothing else will ever quite fill it well. 

St. Augustine offered an explanation as to why none of us will ever find it possible to find true satisfaction in pursuing pleasure or possessions. "Thou hast made us for Thyself and our hearts are restless until we repose in thee."

Until we find our rest in and are kept in relationship with God, we will never find peace, contentment or true and lasting joy. It's simply not possible. We will never be satisfied and have that hole filled from feeding our desires and addictions, because there is never enough to satisfy our selfishness. To live to please ourselves and meet our own needs leads to misery and emptiness, even if the things we're doing are basically good, like fighting for a worthy cause or doing volunteer work. 

Our motives matter. If we are servants to make ourselves look good or receive praise or if we are junkies in search of oblivion and everything that falls between the two, whatever we do, whatever goal we set and pursue, whatever do or take into ourselves to fill the emptiness in our lives will fail and fall short...except God. Pursuing things, power or praise just leaves us exhausted. Clinging to people to end our emptiness only leaves us vulnerable to hurt when that person eventually fails to meet our need. Drugs and alcohol, sex, food, shopping, gambling and any other substance or activity we find escape in will only make our lives worse in the end and never work the way we need. There is never enough. Our need always wants more and more and more, because these things don't last and don't ever fit the hole quite right, not even if what we are using is religion. 

But when we come to realize that true satisfaction in life comes from relationship with God, everything else falls into place. Those things we used to replace relationship with Him that were destructive, can be set aside and walked away from. Things that aren't bad for us in and of themselves, such as food, sex or religious activities will cease to be areas of damage and destruction to us and those around us and begin to enhance our lives, because they will be in their proper place, have their proper value and be used and applied in our lives in a healthy way rather than as an addiction.

We are promised that if we seek first the relationship with God then all the other things we need will be provided for us. We are built for relationship, and God says it's not good for us to be alone. But if we put relationship with people before relationship with God, loneliness and hurt is the result. When we put God first, our relationships with people can be wonderful. God gave us our needs and instincts for food, sex, socialization, security and more, along with the ability to take pleasure from them. We wouldn't  have taste buds if we weren't supposed to enjoy the taste of food. But when theses instincts and feeding them are not in proper place in relation to God, when they drive and dominate us, they will never satisfy and only lead to depression, fear, anger and resentment.

We are meant to enjoy life and what it has to offer. But we are meant to enjoy relationship and intimacy with our Creator first and foremost. It is only when we find our satisfaction and joy in the Lord that our enjoyment of these other things in life and what we have can be appreciated as blessings from God and things that help us be of better service to Him. It is only when that God-shaped hole in our lives is filled with Him that we can ever stop misusing or have the power to walk away from the things in our lives that damage and destroy us.

As contrary as it may seem, the answer to lack and need and misery and fear is not to protect ourselves by protecting what we have and fighting for more, but rather to abandon it all, including the instinct for self preservation, to pursue relationship with God.