Hate hurts. It hurts everyone. It hurts the person doing the hating. It hurts the person being hated, if they are aware of it, and it, at times, hurts family, friends, and innocent bystanders around one or both of the parties involved. The only person who is always damaged by hatred is the person doing the hating, which makes it more sensible to return love for hate. No one ever accused emotions of being logic driven though. If we want to be an instrument of God's peace, when we become aware of being in the presence of hate, especially when it is directed at us, we must purposefully plant and respond with the love of God. But if we do that, we are going to get hurt.
Let us not get confused about that. Love is not a way to escape pain. Jesus was in agony in the Garden of Gethsemane as He aligned His will with the Father's in order to carry out being an instrument of peace and a perfect expression of God's love for His enemies. And it only got worse from that point on. His friends deserted Him. He was framed. He was beaten, mocked and spit on. He was lied about and had His words twisted. He was drug from one person of authority to another and back again in the face of obvious injustice, and no one would help Him. His beard was ripped out and thorns were driven into His head. Finally He was nailed to a cross on a hill like a common criminal, naked and exposed and on display and in tremendous pain, fighting for every breath until He died hours later. This is what the Creator of everything endured because He chose to love and to respond to the hatred of and in the world with love.
Hate hurts us, and when we respond with love instead of hate, we are both going to experience hurt and have that hurt seem to go unanswered. Lord, this hurts so much. I want to love with Your love, like You love me, but I don't know what to do with this pain this hateful person caused me. Then the Spirit of Wisdom says, pardon it, forgive as you have been forgiven. It's the next step.
I love that this prayer doesn't just say help me to forgive or that we choose to forgive. Not that there's anything wrong with the pattern of prayer we call The Lord's Prayer, but when it comes to this aspect, I prefer this one, because it is full of understanding that what we are forgiving, what we are giving pardon to, is an injury. It is damage, hurt and pain caused by someone else to me.
Sometimes my wife takes responsibility and blame for things that are not her fault or responsibility. Sometimes she takes responsibility for things that are not wrong or damaging. She's either pleading guilty for someone else's crimes or for things that are not even misdemeanors. In both cases I always respond to her apologies with the truth that she has nothing to apologize for. She hasn't hurt me and didn't do anything wrong and she has no reason to be sorry. That's not forgiving her.
That's saying there was no injury. When we say that we understand that someone didn't mean to hurt us, or intended something different or that whatever happened was an accident, then we are excusing it. We are acknowledging injury, but we are at the same time justifying the action that caused it. It was the other person's fault but it wasn't on purpose. It's OK. We understand. That's not forgiving either. Nor is the similar, well, I've hurt you in a similar manner or with a similar cost before, so now we are even. Or if you do this or that for me then we will be even. That's justice, hence the balance held by Blind Lady Justice.
No, true forgiveness makes no sense. They did cause injury, but they didn't care if they hurt me or not, best case, and, worst case, they were trying to kill me. It was intentional, evil and unprovoked and nothing that they can ever do can balance the scale or make it right. My pain and injury can only be healed by God. So what do I do with the person who caused it? Well, if we're serious about being instruments of God's peace then we have to love that person who attacked, used and abused us. How do we do that? Grace. The answer is Jesus. We need His grace poured out on us to empower us with the desire and ability to do what we can't do, in this case love as He loved. Full of pain, still bleeding from the injuries and with the echoes of the mocking still in our ears and hanging alone from the rejection we cry out our forgiveness for those who do not deserve forgiveness. We pardon the injury and forgive the debt.
The action that is required for peace is love. The action that is required for love to be more than words includes pardoning. Step by step with this prayer we express our understanding of the cost to follow and be like Jesus. We need to also remember that this is as far beyond our ability to do perfectly, regularly and permanently as is is for us to live under water. We might can hold our breath for a little while but sooner or later we must come up for air or die. We can't love and pardon debts of damage and pain anymore than we can pull oxygen from water. Doing it on our own is like spiritually holding our breath. We need the tanks of God's grace filling us with the love and power of Christ to make it possible for us to stay in that place.
Lord, today, let us remember that we have Your love within us and those tanks of grace are full. When someone or something frightens or damages us, let us be quick to take a breath of grace and show the love of Christ within us by giving pardon rather than retaliating. Amen.
Peace Prayer Of Saint Francis
Lord, make me an instrument of Your peace:
where there is hatred, let me sow love;
where there is injury, pardon;
where there is doubt, faith;
where there is despair, hope;
where there is darkness, light;
where there is sadness, joy.
O divine Master, grant that I may not so much seek
to be consoled as to console,
to be understood as to understand,
to be loved as to love.
For it is in giving that we receive,
it is in pardoning that we are pardoned,
and it is in dying that we are born to eternal life.
Amen.
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