Unshackled Moments — September 27 — Winning The Consolation Prize

Have you ever met that person who always had to have the worst luck and the most misery? If someone has a cold, they're coming down with emphysema. If someone is explaining how they're having a hard day, they interject to show that not only has their day been harder and worse but it's been the same all week and there are no signs that it's going to get any better soon. No matter what the situation their cross is heavier and has more splinters than whoever they happen to encounter. Have you ever spent any time with that person? Have you ever been that person?

I wish I could say that I hadn't acted like that but I have. What about war stories? Ever seen two or more people gathered together in the name of recovery trying to outdo one another with tales of tragedy, destruction, danger and death? In the end no one is consoled and no one is helped. War stories were my weakness in the consolation department during early recovery until my mentor/advisor showed me that I wasn't so much helping by showing that I've been there too or using my experience to help others as I was trying to fit in and outdo and keep the spotlight squarely focused on me.

You can feel the difference between someone who shows that they can empathize with you because they've experienced the same or similar and someone who's pulling the attention back onto themselves. One reason it is so important to seek to console rather than to be consoled is because when we seek to console others first and instead of seeking that comfort and attention we're sacrificing self. It's not about me. It's about the person in need. That's how Jesus did it. That's how we need to do it if we want to be like Him. He comforted and drew others from their captivity and misery, and He never once did either by outdoing anyone's issues, sickness or sadness.

I've been to a lot of funerals over the years, but in truth I have very few memories of the services or afterwards. However there is one with a very vivid memory. When I used to work as a photographer for my local newspaper, part of the job included photographing wrecks. I remember the first fatality accident I showed up at where I knew the people. I live in a small city, and it was bound to happen sooner or later.

I recognized the motorcycle of my friend before I saw him. Brian lay in the intersection as the EMTs worked to save him, and I attempted to shield myself from the scene by seeing it only through the camera lens. For the first time this distancing trick didn't work well. It turned out I also knew the drunk who turned in front of him. The entire situation was a mess, and it affected me more than I knew until I realized the next day that I had misspelled my friend's last name throughout the article I wrote about the accident.

After Brian's funeral I went to give my sympathies to his mother and apologize for misspelling the family name. The woman who would more than a decade later become my mother-in-law did something I never expected or forgot. She gave me a huge hug and told me that she was sorry I had to see him like that. She comforted and consoled me. She left a mark on my life, and she had every reason to make it all about her and her loss and her pain that day.

It is good to get out of self, and one way to that is to be a servant and a tool for the One who is called The Comforter. Whether we realize our woe isn't actually the worst in the room or when it is, we can lessen the weight of self pity by turning our attention off self and seeking to comfort and help another.

Lord, let us learn to seek our comfort from You rather than from the attention of others, and let us be an instrument of Your peace by allowing the needs of others precedence over our own and trying, by Your grace and love, to ease them. Let us remember that winning the consolation prize means being Your comfort to another rather than being the selfish center of attention.

Peace Prayer Of Saint Francis

Lord, make me an instrument of Your peace:

where there is hatred, let me sow love;

where there is injury, pardon;

where there is doubt, faith;

where there is despair, hope;

where there is darkness, light;

where there is sadness, joy.

O divine Master, grant that I may not so much seek

to be consoled as to console,

to be understood as to understand,

to be loved as to love.

For it is in giving that we receive,

it is in pardoning that we are pardoned,

and it is in dying that we are born to eternal life.

Amen.

Unshackled Life Ministries is grateful for every person that reads the daily Unshackled Moments and or listens to the messages. I want to thank those who have clicked "like" on something that blessed or ministered to them. It is encouraging to know that God is using this ministry to help and bless others. Please remember that if God used something from this ministry to help, encourage or bless you, it could also bless someone else. Would you help get the devotions to more people by sharing the Moments and messages that you read or listen to? Hitting the share button instead of or in addition to the like button will help us reach more people with the good news of freedom and the encouragement to live an Unshackled Life. Thank you and God bless.

If you would like to have notifications of new Unshackled Moments and messages sent to you via email, send an email to dalynwoodard@mail.com requesting to be added to the list. You can also follow Dalyn Woodard (@Dalynsmsings) on Twitter or Unshackled Life Ministries on Facebook.