Sought through prayer and meditation to improve our conscious contact with God as we understood Him, praying only for knowledge of His will for us and the power to carry that out.
- Step 11
In the Unshackled Moment Pass The Power Please I explain why I don't have a problem with recovery groups inserting that phrase as we understood Him to qualify the God we are trying to increase contact with, so I won't take the time and space to repeat that today. Still it raises the question how can I understand God in any real way and how can I deepen and increase that understanding if I am not seeking Him and spending time with Him? This step is more than just waking up and thanking God for another night and asking for help to get through the day to come. It means a lot more than just repeating the vow to surrender to His will and sacrificing our own and asking for His help to do that, to be of service and to know His will and have the ability to do it. Those things are important, and they're a good place to start the journey and the day. But they are not the destination of time with God. They are not Step 11. Step 11 is about hunger.
Every living thing is at the least distracted by and more often driven to find what it hungers for. Flowers bloom and turn their beauty toward the sun and the light that they need. There are many species of animals that migrate simply because they will follow their food source anywhere it goes. A person in fear of drowning will fight frantically for the surface and that next breath of air, the need for which, at that moment, unites conscious and unconscious need and quiets all other hungers. The hunger for something that we can not have yet can be such a distraction that we can't focus well on anything else, our work suffers and our attention continues to return to the clock. How long until I can eat? How long until I can see her again? How long until I can..... How long now?
It's not about wishing for something, hoping for it or thinking it would be nice. Hunger is never about impotent desire that daydreams and does nothing else. Hunger makes us move. Hunger makes us do something to try to satisfy that hunger. Being hungry for God means more than hoping we can understand Him better by osmosis. It goes beyond the surface communication of Master and servant...What do You want me to do? I'll do whatever You ask if You will provide me with what I need in order to complete the task? That far and no further is not bad, but it is not a Daddy child relationship, and it is not satisfactory to those who are hungry for God. Step 11 is about increasing relationship by desiring that relationship for more than just help to stay free. It is about being hungry for God.
Are you hungry for God? Are you craving Him as a pregnant woman craves certain foods to such an extent that time and distance and inconvenience are meaningless deterrents to her desires? Nothing else will do, no other food will satisfy, whatever lengths must be gone through to find what is craved must be gone to. None of us are going to have that deep a spiritual hunger all the time, but where our thoughts continue to return when we're alone, when things get quiet, when we are bored is an indication for what we are hungry for. Do you know what you're hungry for?
Lord, I want to increase my understanding of who You are. I long to know You more and grow closer to You. It is my desire to desire You. Move in the direction of hunger for You. I hunger and desire for You, Lord, increase my hunger and desire for You. It's never great enough, and I am far too easily satisfied. No matter how much conscious contact I have with You, let it never be enough to make my full, but rather let it only serve to increase my hunger to be with and to know You. Amen.
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