Unshackled Life Ministries

Sunday, May 7, 2017

More Than We Can Bear

Wally Flynt on what we deserve verses the great love and forgiveness that God gives us instead. The message, More Than We Can Bear, is about 4 minutes long and was recorded at Nacogdoches Christian Fellowship on Sunday, May 7, 2017. It's our prayer that you are blessed and ministered to as you listen. May God bless and keep you.

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Unshackled Life Ministries is grateful for every person that reads the daily Unshackled Moments and or listens to the messages. I want to thank those who have clicked "like" on something that blessed or ministered to them. It is encouraging to know that God is using this ministry to help and bless others. Please remember that if God used something from this ministry to help, encourage or bless you, it could also bless someone else. Would you help get the devotions to more people by sharing the Moments and messages that you read or listen to? Hitting the share button instead of or in addition to the like button will help us reach more people with the good news of freedom and the encouragement to live an Unshackled Life. Thank you and God bless.

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Saturday, May 6, 2017

Unshackled Echo ~ May 6, 2017 ~ Great Expectations

Today's Unshackled Echo was previously published on

June 26, 2013 as Great Expectations

Put your expectations on God, not on people.

- Joyce Meyer

We all have expectations. We expect a certain amount of common courtesy. We expect our spouses to honor and value us, our children to respect and obey us, our bosses to appreciate our work, our friends to be loyal, our cars to crank when we turn the key, our bodies to function in a relatively healthy manner, and so many other things. But what do we do when life flips the script and what we expect, what we feel should happen, is not what happens? We learn the answer to that in Philippians 1 through the example of Paul who experienced broken expectations in the area of plans, people and places but stayed joyful and full of hope.

Paul was an evangelist called to go to the world and share the good news of Jesus. He started churches all over and went from place to place ministering. Now he was stuck in prison. When we are stuck in a place or situation that is uncomfortable, unfulfilling, or unsafe, it's easy to get discouraged and lose hope, But Paul became encouraged rather than discouraged. He said in Philippians 1:12 that his suffering lead to the advance of the gospel.

People will fail our expectations. It hurts, especially when it is someone we love dearly and who is supposed to love us, like a spouse, child, parent or grandparent. Maybe it's more life itself that let us down instead of a person. A loss of financial security, the death of someone close to us, a health crisis, and other situations similar to these can throw our lives into a tailspin as our expectations go up in flames.

Paul could have naturally expected to receive encouragement and help from fellow believers. After all, he was in prison for taking the gospel to them. But instead of encouragement, some were glad he was in prison. Hurt and anger would be the natural response, and would've left him miserable. Paul knew that death loomed over him, that at any minute his execution could be ordered. But instead of being paralyzed by fear Paul responded by saying that Christ is preached and in this he rejoiced (1:15) and that for him to live is relationship with Christ, and to die or lose himself and his expectations was to gain (1:21).

Paul's only expectation that mattered was for Christ to be honored and for God to be glorified through his life and reactions to his life. We can let go of our expectations. That doesn't mean to slip into hopelessness that says what's the point? No matter what I do misery is all I will find. No, we can release them in a better way, by remembering that what matters is relationship with God and what will be eternal. People and situations here are fleeting, even if fleeting is 90 years or so. The eternal is what matters. If we use our despair and failed expectations to inspire us to run to God, to find our comfort and solace in Him and our purpose in His will, then not only will we find peace and comfort for ourselves, but our peace when there should naturally be no peace, when everyone's expectations would be for us to be miserable and full of despair, will advance the gospel and show the love and power of Christ to a hurting world around us.

Unshackled Life Ministries is grateful for every person that reads the daily Unshackled Moments, the weekly Unshackled Echo and or listens to the Audio Messages. I want to thank those who have clicked "like" on something that blessed or ministered to them on social media, commented on the blog or replied to an email subscription. It is encouraging to know that God is using this ministry to help and bless others. Please remember that if God used something from this ministry to help, encourage or bless you, it could also bless someone else. Would you help get the devotions and sermons to more people by sharing this? Hitting the share button or forwarding this to a friend will help us reach more people with the good news of freedom and the encouragement to live an Unshackled Life. Thank you and God bless.

Friday, May 5, 2017

Unshackled Moments ~ May 5, 2017 ~ Revenge Of The Fifth

I'm feeling pretty good today, well, at least a lot better than I have been the last few days. More importantly, I suspect I will feel even better tomorrow. Of course I could be wrong, but I won't be hungover. That, for me, is a miracle.

Today is Star Wars Day 2 for some, otherwise known as Revenge Of The Fifth. For some, it's Cinco de Mayo. For others, it's the first day of the weekend. For me, it's just another day where I need to surrender to God and die to self, because while the image here is somewhat close, it's not really what I think of when I think of a fifth's revenge.

I'm a Star Wars fan. I did go ahead and change profile pictures and cover photos to some Dark Side themed, Revenge Of The Fifth, images. If I can get enough done to catch up on all the work I missed the last couple of days while I've been sick (not gonna happen), I may read a little on the Old Republic series novel I started yesterday. But for the most part, I don't really celebrate or observe SWD2. From what I can see, it's mostly an excuse to dress up like the bad guys, whom I do have to admit have the much more fun and cooler look, and party. I was locked up when Star Wars Episode III: Revenge Of The Sith came out, and by the first May after my release, 2009, I was in recovery. So while I missed the first near decade of the tradition of partying on this day in the name of Star Wars, I, number one, never really needed an excuse to party, and number two, had one.

I'm a Texas boy who came of age in the 1980's. That is also when beer companies turned a minor Mexican holiday into a huge celebration for those of Mexican descent in the United States and the Tex-Mex crowd. Seriously, what could be better than beer and Tex-Mex food all day? A lot of things actually, but I bought into it as much as the next guy. And later, May 5 became an excuse to drink straight tequila, instead of my usual rum and whiskey.

I'm not trying to get lost in war stories. But this is what I really think of when I hear the phrase Revenge Of The Fifth. It's not immediately Star Wars. There is a photo somewhere of me passed out on a hotel floor, just trashed beyond belief, after downing a bottle of tequila and a pint of Hot Damn in a short period. I puked all over the hotel bathroom, crawled out into the walkway and passed out there until the next morning, where I woke up hurting and sick and hours late. The friends I was with didn't mark all over me like this Storm Trooper got it, but the moment was captured for posterity. It's not alone. And the last drunk I had, I drank a fifth of tequila and gave myself alcohol poisoning.

That's the thing. I always did it to myself. It wasn't really the fifth's revenge. But boy oh boy did I have a propensity to hurt myself with alcohol. Sometimes the drugs I took made it possible to keep going and drink even more. Sometimes they made the drink hit me faster and harder. And in both cases I poured it down like it wouldn't one day kill me, but it nearly did more than once.

Today, I don't have to live like that. I don't have to anticipate or fear how badly it's going to hurt or how much damage I'm about to do to myself while being powerless to act like I have some sense and just not do it. This is going to hurt was a common thought for me, even as I continued. On May 5, 2010, I was in my cups. I knew I was killing myself. I had relapsed, gone back out, slipped, been stupid, say it however you wish, a couple of months earlier after 15 months clean and sober. Forty pounds lighter and being surprised to even wake up each day, I truly began to fear I would be dead soon. Still, it was nearly two weeks longer, on May 17, before I was able to retake that first step into recovery and set the drink and drugs down. If the tale above sounds familiar to you, if you don't know what it means to have a couple of beers and some tacos because it really is one beer or shot leads to more and to the floor for you, you don't have to wait to get up. There is a solution.

I no longer have to fear the morning after and the Revenge Of The Fifth. Neither do you. If you're tired of the cycle, the chains can be broken. Our stories disclose in a general way what we used to be like, what happened, and what we are like now. If you have decided you want what we have and are willing to go to any length to get it-then you are ready to take certain steps.

At some of these we balked. We thought we could find an easier, softer way. But we could not. With all the earnestness at our command, we beg of you to be fearless and thorough from the very start. Some of us have tried to hold on to our old ideas and the result was nil until we let go absolutely.

Remember that we deal with alcohol-cunning, baffling, powerful! Without help it is too much for us. But there is One who has all power - that One is God. May you find Him now!

Half measures availed us nothing. We stood at the turning point. We asked His protection and care with complete abandon. - from How It Works

Thursday, May 4, 2017

Unshackled Moments ~ May4, 2017 ~ Recovery From A Galaxy Far, Far Away

Happy Star Wars Day! I know. I know. I am a geek. But seriously, as I was changing my social media cover photos and profile pictures to Star Wars images and scrolling through my "Facebook Memories," I couldn't help but see how much recovery there is in Star Wars. Here are some Star Wars quotes that can be applied to recovery, at least by geeks like me.

Remember. Your focus determines your reality. - Qui-Gon Jinn

From time to time, especially when things aren't going my way, I have to remind myself to focus on the solution. When we focus on the problem, the problem gets bigger, but when we focus on the solution.... Turn your eyes upon Jesus, and the things of earth will grow strangely dim. If you're trying not to drink and drug, it's all you're thinking about, and there's a good chance you'll drink and or drug. but if you spend your energy connecting in relationship with God, the obsession to drink and drug fades. It's awesome and true. Your focus determines your reality.

Don't center on your anxieties, Obi-Wan. Keep your concentration here and now, where it belongs. - Qui-Gon Jinn

Live in the moment. Be in the now. The past is gone, the future is yet to be determined, or isn't happening yet, so focus on today. So do not worry about tomorrow; for tomorrow will care for itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own (Matthew 6:34).

For a mechanic, you seem to do an excessive amount of thinking. - C3-PO

One thing that is quickly learned in recovery is that one must place principles before personalities and the mechanic and the mayor may rub shoulders in the rooms, and both may have much guidance and wisdom and experience to share. I've seen people who could barely read share wisdom that got me through the day and a few who would be socially esteemed that spouted some serious foolishness.

Wait a minute, how did this happen? We're smarter than this! - Obi-Wan Kenobi

Apparently not. - Anakin Skywalker

If I really on my own power, my own will and my own intelligence I'm going to wind up at the dope house or with a drink in my hand trying to figure out how this happened again. There will come a time when mental defense is insufficient against the first drink or drug or whatever we are in bondage or addicted to. We have a 24 hour reprieve contingent upon the maintenance of our spiritual condition.

Congratulations. You are being rescued. Please do not resist. - K-2SO: [after chokeslamming Jyn for trying to escape]

OK, this was just funny, and how many of us have not had that moment working with a newcomer where we wanted to just pin them down and make them stop running and work the steps?

There’s more than one prison. I think you carry yours wherever you go. - Chirrut Imwe

This doesn't need commentary.

You must do what you feel is right, of course. - Obi-Wan Kenobi

In my experience, there's no such thing as luck. - Obi-Wan Kenobi

You've taken your first step into a larger world. - Obi-Wan Kenobi

These three are all from A New Hope, a title that seems appropriate to the subject, and I relate them to recovery. The next right thing is always the best option, and even when we think what's right for us is different than what our wise mentor may think, as long as we continue to try, even if we make some wrong choices, we will end up where we need to be. There is no such thing as luck. It works if you work it. And when we start our journey into spiritual life and recovery our world does get a lot bigger.

Never tell me the odds! - Han Solo

The odds are against us. It's impossible to find freedom on our own. But that doesn't mean we shouldn't go for it. and with the help of God the odds become irrelevant. God can and will if He is sought.

Try not. Do, or do not, there is no try. - Yoda

But beware the Dark Side. Anger, fear, and aggression; the Dark Side of the Force are they. Easily they flow, quick to join you in a fight. - Yoda

I think these stand on their own.

It's against my programming to impersonate a deity. - C3-PO

There is a God, and I am not Him. Neither are you.Take off the God suit. It doesn't fit.

I used to wonder about that myself. Thought it was a bunch of mumbo-jumbo. A magical power holding together good and evil, the dark side and the light. Crazy thing is... it's true. The Force. The Jedi... All of it... It's all true. - Han Solo

OK, so the force and the Jedi are fiction, but our journey into relationship with God is often a lot like Han's. The idea of God is something we find hard to believe at first. It seems like hokey religion and mumbo-jumbo. A power outside of us and greater than us helping us to do what we have never been able to do, to make the impossible possible? It doesn't seem to make sense. But as we witness the miracle of freedom in others we begin to come to believe that there is indeed a God that can and wants to restore us to sanity and set us free. It's all true. There is a solution. May the force be with you.

Wednesday, May 3, 2017

Unshackled Moments ~ May 3, 2017 ~ Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Day

Not all days are good. I know that goes contrary to what we're supposed to think and believe, at least according to some. Any day you wake up and take a breath is a good day. No, not really. Shame on you. This is the day that the Lord has made and I will rejoice in it. So should you. Yeah, I grew up with that one, singing it even. It still pops up in my mind when I'm having a bad day. Sometimes it helps. Other times not so much. What helps me more are verses that say things like in days of trouble I can and I will run to You, O Lord my refuge, my strength, my protector, my Daddy.

That other verse, Psalm 118:24 by the way, has a tendency to be used like a positive thinking mantra to convince ourselves that it's really not a bad, difficult or troublesome day. We use it to try to manipulate ourselves into rejoicing when we don't want to or feel like it or can't, and we use it to subtly condemn ourselves and others when they are weeping and mourning instead of rejoicing. Be positive, even in hard times and difficulty or someone, perhaps even your own mind, will remind you of this verse. This is the day which the Lord has made; we will rejoice and be glad in it. When you're really feeling bad and rejoicing feels impossible, this verse can really make you feel worse and question the validity of your faith. Seriously, if you were really a Christian you would see that even this is the day that the Lord has made and you would be rejoicing right now.

That, by the way, is totally bogus nonsense that should be rebuked in the name of Jesus. This is why we should be careful about just accepting things floating around. Someone liked this verse. They turned it into the chorus of a song in the 70s, as far as I know...it could have been done earlier. It sounded good, it was catchy, and we like the idea of having joy, so people sang it and loved it and believed it. Now it's on T-shirts and bumper stickers and memes and stuck in our minds. Out of context. That verse does not mean what you think it does. It was definitely never intended to beat you about the head and heart for not doing a good Pollyanna impression.

It is true that God has made this day and every day, so there's nothing wrong with acknowledging that. On the worst day, and in the midst of the most suffering there is a source and reason to have joy if we have relationship with Jesus. But there is a time for mourning and weeping. It is not faith to pretend that suffering is not suffering, that trouble has not come, or that our heart is not heavy. It's denial and self-deception. We don't want to feel what we're feeling, so we manipulate our own mind and emotions, we twist scripture and quote positive inspirational crap like mantras to filter the negative, hard and bad away from our consciousness and see only the stuff that doesn't make us want to curl into a ball and cry. There is comfort in the Lord. That's why the Holy Spirit is called the Comforter, but the Spirit doesn't comfort with denial, manipulation or false impressions of reality. We practice rigorous honesty, but the Spirit of the Lord IS truth. He's not going to call it differently than it is. He's not about pretending.

We try to change the way we feel so many ways. The root of addiction and bondage is found in trying to enhance, change, and mask the way we feel. It's all about self. And sometimes we do this even in recovery and even with scriptures. If it helps me to feel better, what does it matter if that's not what the verse means? Well, first, it doesn't always make us feel better does it? Sometimes it makes us wonder why we can't rejoice like we should. And it doesn't matter if it's this verse or another, when we use the truth in an untrue way to change the way we feel or to manipulate ourselves and or others, we make it a lie, and turning the word of God into a lie is never within His will. Finally, as if that's not enough, to lie to ourselves to attempt to change the way we feel is always a bad idea that takes us in the direction of any number of worse ideas and returning to trying anything and everything other than the Comforter for relief.

For the record, Psalm 118:24 is about a particular day, the day of the triumphal entry of the Messiah. It's not any old day or every day. It's specific. Now, this is a day He made. I can rejoice that my suffering is temporary, that it is purposeful rather than pointless in that it can bring me into deeper relationship with God and remind me of His comfort and love and bring Him glory as it testifies of His faithfulness, and that God can and will use it to transform me into the likeness of Christ and for good. You can find joy in times of suffering for those reasons to, if you are His.

And maybe it's just me, but I can find joy in not having to pretend, in not having to hide my tears from God, in not having to act like I'm OK when I'm not. I can endure all things, even a bad, hard day, through Christ who strengthens me and the abiding presence of the Comforter and the blessed assurance of Daddy's care and love. So can you.

Tuesday, May 2, 2017

Unshackled Moments ~ May 2, 2017 ~ Torn; To Agree Or Disagree?

I saw a quote used as a blog title that caught my eye this morning. It's better to smile than to be the one who didn't smile back. I like that. I agree with that. I don't think that when Jesus said it's better to give than to receive that it was just about giving material things. Anyway, I digress. I followed the link to see what the author had to say, which was not much. It wasn't a blog or an article but an infographic. It repeated the thing about the smile, then there was a paragraph about the best things in life being free, all leading up to a link taking the web traveler to 42 Amazingly Free Things That Will Make You Smile. I didn't click it.

Before I could tell that I'd been rooked, baited and drawn in to a traffic generator, a pop-up covered the screen with a survey question. There was no close button or X anywhere. The two options were to back out or hit one of the two buttons: Agree or Disagree. The question?

It's never too late to start over. If you don't like your yesterday, do something different today. Don't be stuck. Be better. Agree or disagree?

I'll give you a second to think about it. Maybe this seems like trivial, inspiration cheese. Who cares? Maybe you instinctively answered quickly and don't need to think about it. Perhaps even the idea of thinking about it seems foolish. I thought so. Like I said, this appeared, blocking my view of the page, before I could tell that it would be less a waste of time to simply hit the back button. I wanted to proceed and moved the cursor to respond. My instinct, my reaction to reading the statement without thinking, was to hit the agree button. But something stopped me.

You may be thinking and feeling like I was at that moment, which had nothing to do with the statement or the question of my response to the statement. This is stupid. Why are you pausing to answer, and why are even thinking about this? It's a stupid quiz question. What does it matter? Just click on a button, any button, and move on already. You, Dear Reader, may even be adding to that, why are you subjecting me to some idea of internal dilemma over a pointless thing like this? You must have been hard up for a topic today.

But that's just it. I don't think it's pointless. Even as the impatient voice in my head said to click and move and not to waste time actually thinking about the statement, something within said no, give this some thought. It's more important than you think. Of course that's when Mr. Impatient spoke up again. Fine, then click agree. You know you should answer multiple choice questions with whatever is the first instinctual response and not change your answer. So, click agree, and then, if you must, think about why you agree. But by then I was already thinking about it, and I didn't think that I did agree, although I wasn't sure why I didn't agree.

I do agree that it's never too late. It's not to late to change, to b changed, to be set free. If we're still breathing, there's the opportunity to have new life, new freedom and new happiness. The Spirit is calling us to come, and each new day, each new moment of reflection, is an opportunity to respond yes to that call and discover that surrender is the way to victory, death to self is the way to a life worth living, and the freedom and joy that doesn't last anywhere else is real and free in the loving arms of our Heavenly Daddy. If your life is a mess, out of control, miserable, full of fear, anger and bondage, and if everything that you try to do to fix it, to find hope, to find escape and comfort, only seems to make it worse, do something different. You don't have to be stuck in the bondage and misery. There is a solution. There is something better. There is freedom, joy, peace and a life worth living in relationship with Jesus.

So it sounds like I agree. It might even sound like I pretended to ponder the issue so I could preach at you. I hope not, because it's not the case. I agree because of experience. I agree because I was nearly 40 when I was set free from the obsession to drink and drug after a quarter of a century of trying to find better living through the fruit of the vine and modern chemistry. This past weekend I heard a man speak who didn't get sober until he was 50, and today, at 76, he has more time sober than I had using. It's awesome. No, I don't believe it's ever too late to find relationship with God and to be set free. So why the hesitation to click Agree?

It's not so much that I didn't agree or that I disagreed, but I think I wanted a Depends option. Part of what got me started on that 25 year journey through the hell of the Valley of the Shadow filled with drink, drug, and other lures of the pleasures of hedonistic survival was the idea that the fix must be quick. Instant gratification. I want what I want, to feel better or at least different, and I want it now. This isn't fun, or it's hard, or it's boring, let me do something else. Sometimes the reason that I didn't like my yesterday has nothing to do with being stuck and needing to do something different. It may simply mean that I need to keep going, keep trying, practice and learn so that I can do it better. The saying is that when we fall off the horse, we should get right back on and try again. But our instinct is often more along the lines of if I fall off the horse I should try riding a bike, and if I fall doing that I should go find cat videos to watch and forget doing anything difficult.

If we get knocked down, we need to get up...but there's more to it than just getting back up. We need some direction. What happens next depends. Am I dissatisfied with my yesterday, or even my today, because I'm stuck in the past, because I'm in a rut of trying to find satisfaction and contentment and purpose in things that can't provide it? Am I living, or trying to live, for myself, according to my own will and by my own power? If so, then yes, do something better today. But sometimes life is hard, and it doesn't mean that you're on the wrong road or going the wrong way. If you're on the right path, living surrendered to and in relationship with God, and trouble comes because we don't have the technique of living by the spiritual principles of new life down yet and need more practice, need to rely more on God to help us do what we can not do for ourselves, or if life is just tough and dissatisfying because it is, because we're going through a difficult season or working toward the reward and work is hard, or even because others are trying to hinder our journey, we don't need to change direction, to cut and run or to change anything. In that case, we need to keep doing what we've been doing until we get through it, or learn to do it better. This idea that if what we're doing or going through isn't making us happy now, is hard and discouraging now, that we need to change it and do something different now also is not always the case. Edison tested more than 3000 designs for the light bulb before he came up with the right one. Had he simply said I'm stuck and need to do something different, we might still be sitting in the dark trying to read by candlelight instead of rocking to Pandora while interacting instantly with people all over the world on social media. The light made the lit screen possible after all.

So I think that is why I hesitated. It's not always an easy answer, and it could mean the difference between life and death, whether to stay or go, change or keep going/try again. I believe the answer needs to come from outside us. God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I can not change (keep going or try again), the courage to change the things I can (do something else, different, better) and the wisdom to know the difference (You tell me which is which). Amen.

The other thing I got from going to this page besides inspiration and something to think about, a reminder about needing direction and not always just going with my gut without thinking, is a smile when I saw that the link was to 42 things that are free. As I wrote last Thursday in Life, The Universe and Everything, I'm really fond of the number 42. So, going to that page wasn't a waste of time. It made me smile and gave me something to think about, even though it didn't make me go to the next page they wanted to generate traffic for. And I hope, Dear Reader, that I gave you something to think about as well and you don't feel clicking the link that brought you here was a waste of your time. Have a great and blessed day, filled with serenity.

Monday, May 1, 2017

Unshackled Moments ~ May 1, 2017 ~ A Different Kind Of Friend

Sometimes being a friend is hard. I'm not talking about hanging out with a buddy you care about and believe cares about you. I'm talking about answering the call to love and being a friend to someone who needs it but doesn't deserve it. That person whom God has put on your heart to care for and show friendship, love and compassion to but about whom every instinct for emotional self preservation says cut them loose, quit trying, get them out of your life before the pain becomes too much to bear and cuts your heart to shreds.

It's easy to spot these dangers. The people who only want something from us or who only interact with us when there's something in it for them. The people who are always a drain emotionally and mentally. They never give, give back or refresh us. Every, or almost every, encounter is an act of service or ministry. It doesn't take long for that to stop feeling like friendship and start feeling like work.

Then there's the people who slap away the hand reaching out to them, or worse, bite the hand trying to care for their wounds. You show love. They show indifference. You reach out, and they reject and ignore. The Bible says to forgive 70 times 7, but does that include continuing to try to befriend and care for someone who continues to and repeatedly rejects us and pushes us away?

And what of the people who can't seem to care about our feelings and needs? The ones we're trying to forgive and rebuild relationship with after a hurt who can't take it slow and one step at a time? If we're going to be friends. I need to know you care about my needs and feelings as well. I need you to stop doing these things that hurt me and break my heart. They say OK. They claim to be sorry. But the behavior always returns to the mess that caused us to distance ourselves in the first place.

Experience tells us that these relationships are not friendships. Logic tells us to quit while we're behind. Hurt tells us to say screw them. We can do better. We don't need them in our lives. And anger screams hurt them back, hurt them worse. It makes sense, and I don't think anyone would blame us for letting these relationships die. It would be so much easier.

But then I think again to Jesus saying He is a friend who's closer than a brother. He said that about me. He said that about you. And I know that I have been the person He should cut loose. I have been the selfish, self absorbed drain who makes the relationship all about me, who only calls when I need something, who is always a drain. Still He loves me, died for me and calls me to Himself. I have been the one who only wants to spend time on my terms and my schedule. Who has slapped away the caring hand of Jesus and ignored the messages and requests for time and communication over and over, unless it suited me. And most of all, I have been the so-called friend of Christ who has continued to repeat the actions that cause distance, that break His heart. And He has continued to say I love you. Let's try again. He continues to make intercession for me and fight for me. He continues to draw near to me and to draw me to Him. He continues to make His laying down His life available and effective for me. He never takes is back. He never shuts the door on His love for me.

That's when I realize that sometimes loving like Jesus is not just about caring for the stranger and the outcast. It's also a calling to be a friend, to embrace the shame and rejection and accept the hurt that comes from our pride and needs and feelings being nailed to the cross in hopes that one day relationship will be restored and love will be returned. No greater love can we show than to lay down our life, to sacrifice our needs and feelings and desires for a friend, especially a friend who can not or will not do the same in return. Like Jesus, we can intercede with Daddy on their behalf, we can continue to reach our and forgive. Also like Jesus, we can set boundaries and have distance be a consequence of certain behavior and actions, but the love continues and forgiveness is offered anew. Yes, it hurts. The cross is painful. But for the joy of what lays beyond it, we can endure and accept the sacrifice.

Lord, help me to be a friend like you are. Comfort the pain and help me forgive. And forgive me for being a friend to you who should be cut loose and rejected. Thank you for your great and undeserved love.

ULM