There is an idea that sci-fi geeks like me are aware of. The answer is 42. The answer to what? The answer to life, the universe and everything. It's from The Hitchhiker's Guide To the Galaxy series of books by Douglass Adams. I first became aware of the first book a little over 30 years ago, in junior high when the one kid in the class more weird and more of an outsider than I was quoted from it in class. People ridiculed and treated him like he was crazy, so he explained that what he'd said came from THGTTG. I couldn't resist checking it out because I had some respect for this kid who had the courage to just be himself and didn't seem to care about what anyone, pretty much everyone including the teachers, appeared to think about him.
I read the books. 42 became a running joke with me. People would say things like can I ask you a question? I'd respond 42, and they'd look at me like huh? But while I knew the answer, it didn't make sense. The books didn't explain it, in fact not understanding it was part of the point. No one I ever talked to had the answer to why that was the answer. It was a joke because we knew the answer, but it rarely seemed to apply to life, the universe or anything, much less everything. Then, a while back, my wonderful wife shared the following with me:
ASCII 42
In programming, an asterisk is commonly used as a sort of "whatever you want it to be" symbol, I've heard it called a wildcard.
ASCII language, the original way that computers run, the most basic computer software, in it, 42 is the designation for asterisk. The GIANT COMPUTER was asked what the true meaning was. It answered as a computer would.
Anything you want it to be.
Now, Douglass Adams swore it was a joke and didn't really mean anything. And there are all kinds of theories floating around the nerd and geek community. But this theory actually made sense and seems like a possibility, although I disagree that the meaning of life can be whatever I want. I tried very hard to make the meaning of life living for self, and it didn't work out too well for me. But I digress. The answer is what fits. Solve for X. It may not even be true, but since I have see this idea, I haven't been able to let it go. The idea of 42 as the answer worked once it made sense how it could be applied.
There are doubts and questions and circumstances and such that make no sense. I don't see how the goodness and love of God applies or makes a difference or even exists in that particular scenario. So, the question doesn't seem to be answerable by the answer. But, much like the 42 thing, it is a matter of it being beyond my understanding. I don't believe exactly the same way and or things that I did even ten years ago. But the core truth, the answer that never changes is that God is good and loves me, and that truth is summed up and demonstrated in Jesus.
I may have confusion or doubt or misunderstanding about some spiritual things, but as long as I hang on to that truth, then I can remain teachable where I may be wrong, I can admit I don't know and understand everything, the idea of a question I can't answer or doubt doesn't have to destroy faith, because it still comes down to I don't know that, but I know God is good and He loves me. I don't see how that works here, but that's because my brain is too limited to see it and grasp it, but one day I'll see how God's goodness and love was the answer to this. And the other side of this coin is that if I'm honest and really look at the core of every religious and spiritual doubt that I have ever had, what I see is under the surface of the question I claim to have is the true question, does God really love me? The real doubt is His love.
When I doubt His love for me, everything else begins to fall apart. My world goes as askew as anything Escher ever drew. When I wake up in Escher's world, I know that somewhere, for some reason, I have begun to question the love of God for me. But no matter how tumultuous or crazy or screwed up the world and life become, I can't be moved or shaken when I'm firmly anchored to the truth of God's love. His goodness and love, especially toward and for me, is why after a quarter century of drinking and drugging I no longer have to or want to do those things. That's why I know that when I die, one more bad person will get to go to heaven and receive the miracle of being transformed into the likeness of Jesus. And, even when I don't get it, it is the true and complete answer to life, the universe and everything.
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