Unshackled Moments ~ May 10 ~ Willing To Go To Any Lengths

I remember when I first began getting clean and sober, my second mentor often insisted that I comply to a certain way of thinking and agree to things that at the time I didn't feel had much of anything to do with my sobriety. Whenever I would balk and stiffen my neck in rebellion the response would in some way incorporate the idea of any lengths. The any lengths concept comes from the main text of Alcoholics Anonymous, chapter 5 How It Works, but the first part of this chapter is now used in a wide variety of step based programs dealing with many different issues and addictions. It is the introduction to the 12 steps and is found in a sentence that reads,

if you want what we have and are willing to go to any lengths to get it, then you are ready to take certain steps. 

But exactly what that means is open to some interpretation, or at least is disputed. To me, it always meant that in order to work the steps successfully and get clean I had to be willing to do whatever it would take to do that. I have heard people say that if that meant they  needed to stand on their head in a corner for an hour they would do so, but I never felt that way. For me it meant if you could convince me that standing on my head in the corner for an hour would help me work the steps I would do it, otherwise you could take the suggestion to stand on my head and shove it. I wasn't going to do it. I took this approach with more than one of the suggestions people gave me of things I needed to do in order to get sober. If it were step related, I did it. If it lined up with or could be read to me from the book, I did it. If it seemed the personal opinion of Mr. or Ms. So-And-So, I did it or didn't as I felt, wanted or saw fit.

I listened after a couple of relapses at work when I was told that until I found myself set free from the obsession to drink and drug I needed to quit that job. I couldn't stay sober surrounded by people drinking and using on the clock and at breaks. I didn't find another job for over a year, but I don't regret going to that length because it was necessary. Today I could work there and stay free, but it's a different situation when freedom has not yet been found, only searched for. I didn't listen when told not to make any major changes to my life for the first year. I had just gotten out of prison after over 7 years. Everything I did, down to the toothpaste I bought at a store with choices and doors that opened and closed for me, was a major change. Some lengths I went to and some, if I didn't see a connection to the steps, I refused. Some suggestions were necessary, both ones I took and ones I refused at first. Some suggestions were not necessary and were extraneous tradition that came later, like many of the traditions in Christianity that are not found in the book but are sometimes treated as though they are, or were simply the opinions of the people trying to help.

And that leads me to where I stand on the idea of any lengths today.  How I understand one day at a time has changed as my recovery has progressed, and so has the concept of any lengths. Today I do not attach the willingness to go to any lengths to any one part of my life, such as recovery. It is tied to any and every thing that has to do with practicing the spiritual principles through which I found life and freedom, which in turn means that it is interwoven into every aspect of life. But it's still not about the thoughts of people, even people trying to help, because I have turned my will and life over to the care of God, not people. Where He leads I will follow, and where He sends me I will go. Whatever He wills I will step out to obey, by grace, whatever, wherever, however lengths He asks of me.

This is the any length that we need be prepared to take, that we must continue to go to if we want to deepen our relationship with God and secure our freedom, the length of total surrender, or complete commitment to His will over ours. Whatever lengths that entails for us, we must be  ready and willing to, by grace, die to self. Nevertheless Father, not my will but Yours be done. When this is the axis point around which our life and choices revolve, we will never fall short of going the distance we need to in order to find and keep freedom. But if a person gives instruction or advice check it, test it. If it is in the book or lines up in agreement with the book, then by all means, do it, but if not, that is a length we dare not got to.

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