Sought through prayer and meditation to improve our conscious contact with God as we understood Him, praying only for knowledge of His will for us and the power to carry that out
- Step Eleven
This step, as presented in various programs of recovery, used to bother me some, but perhaps not for the reason that some might think. I don't have any problem with the phrase that was added to keep from scaring people off over the whole God issue, namely that whole as we understand Him wording. For one thing, every person who prays, regardless of religious beliefs or lack of them, prays to the God of their understanding, to what they perceive as God. As our understanding of God changes, our prayers can't help but change, because the Being we are approaching is different in our understanding than before. God may never change, but our understanding of Him better or we're not growing. As my understanding of a or the Higher Power goes from some vague, hopefully benevolent, spirit to a loving Heavenly Daddy, my comfort and willingness to approach my Creator changes. So I don't have a problem with that phrase or even with the rewriting of the step to read with God as we understood God, etc. to take out the Him. I don't care where you start with your perception of God, if you truly seek and continue to seek, you will find, and as you keep seeking you will find both that you have a better understanding and a deeper, more intimate, relationship with the One True God and also that the closer you get the more you understand that you don't understand, or know. The more we understand who He is, the more we understand that we can not understand the depth, power and glory of Him or His love for us.
No, the issue I had with this step was simply the word only. It bothered me that it seemed that this step restricted the prayer life of those in recovery who wanted to faithfully follow steps to never asking for anything from Daddy. But praying for the knowledge of His will, includes praying for the things we need, the things we hope for, and concerning the things we are facing, afraid of, worried about, etc. How do I know? Well, for one thing, Jesus prayed to escape the cross, expressing His dread of what He was facing. It's not that His will and desire wasn't expressed that made His prayer powerful or a great example for us. It's that after expressing His desire to find another way, He surrendered His will to the Father and rose up completely willing and seeking only to carry out His Father's will.
There's nothing wrong with praying for that job you want, that healing you desire, that whatever as long as behind the request is enough surrender and trust to the love and care of Daddy that if He says He has something different in mind we seek first His will over ours. We don't throw fits or get upset that God wants to do things a different way than we want or would do thins, because we have learned from experience that God's way is better, more satisfying and brings a greater meaning and purpose to life. Scripture makes it clear that it is God's desire to be our Daddy, to protect us, to care for us, to meet our needs and to show us His love. It's also His desire to give us the desires of our heart, when those desires don't take us to a place outside of Him or put us in danger, and for us to ask Him for what we need. As I remembered that, I no longer stressed about the wording of the step. I know it's God's will that I be anxious for nothing, but in everything by prayer and supplication, with thanksgiving, let [my] requests be made known to God (Philippians 4:6). Therefore, taking my personal needs and requests to Daddy is part of fulfilling His will for my day and my life. I just have to remember that when Daddy says no ice cream until my work is done or until after dinner it's because He loves me, wants what's best for me and has a better way than my way. Pouting is not compatible with true surrender to the care of God.
Lately though, the problem I have with the step is not with the step but with me. There's no issue with taking my needs to Daddy, because I have come to understand God that way and to understand that Daddy's will includes me taking my needs to Him. But far too often I forget the rest of the step, the second part of the request...and the power to carry that out. It's like I ask God what He would have me do and He answers that He wants me to rise up and do the impossible, to live, love and react like Jesus, to set the captives free from unbreakable bondage and help bring healing to those with incurable illness for His glory and to demonstrate His power and love. Then, after hearing the call I get up and say, sure God, I'll get right on that.
No, perhaps the most important part of the step is the easiest part to gloss over. The power to carry that out includes that grace to surrender my will and desires and say nevertheless not my will but Yours be done. It includes the power and grace to say no to all my former masters and habits and old natures and sin. It includes that power to face whatever storm, whatever opposition whatever uncertainty. The power to carry that out is the grace by which we stand, the walking in the Spirit that keeps us from fulfilling the lusts and desires of the flesh and the power to unleash the life-giving, chain breaking, beauty-from-ashes making force of the Everlasting God into our life and the lives of those we are called to help. Without the power to carry that out, without grace, I can't stay sober, I can't be unselfish, I can't love as Jesus loves, I can't live right, do right or even desire right. But by His grace I can let Him have victory through my life.
Today let us not forget that when we take our lives, our day, our needs to Him to seek His will and direction we must not slip into the mindset that we are called to or even have any hope of fulfilling that will and obeying without Him providing the power, giving His grace. Let us ever rely on grace and never slip into self sufficiently. Let us remember that no matter how long we have been walking victoriously it's not because we can or did. We can't. He can. Let's let Him and rely on Him. Lord, give us the power to carry out Your will and calling for our day and life.
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