Unshackled Moments ~ November 23 ~ Grading The Year

Here we are in the final week of November. We are two days from Thanksgiving. One month, seriously, 31 days, away from Christmas, which leaves us only 38 days till we scrap another year and start again, full of hope and fear and good intentions and the futility of our resolutions. Being around 90% through with the year, maybe it's time for a quick review, a mini-inventory if you will. I'm not talking about an in depth  Fifth step over the year, although if you are going through a particularly rough time of feeling irritable, restless and discontent, a Fifth step over the issue might help you get in a better, safer and more free place spiritually, emotionally, and mentally before the stress of the holidays really kicks into overdrive.

But what I am talking about is more of an end of the day review for the year. This, if it is done, should be constructive, and while it doesn't need to be as in depth as a Fifth step, it does need to be as rigorously honest. As it is with the nightly review, a good place to start is with prayer that the Holy Spirit guide you through the process, help you to be honest and reveal to you what you need to remember. Of course in the nightly review it's:

Were we resentful, selfish, dishonest or afraid? Do we owe an apology? Have we kept something to ourselves which should be discussed with another person at once? Were we kind and loving toward all? What could we have done better? Were we thinking of ourselves most of the time? Or were we thinking of what we could do for others, of what we could pack into the stream of life? But we must be careful not to drift into worry, remorse or morbid reflection, for that would diminish our usefulness to others. After making our review we ask God's forgiveness and inquire what corrective measures should be taken. 

- Alcoholics Anonymous pg. 86

In reviewing the year however, I would strongly suggest that some of those questions most certainly need to be reworded. It's not were we or was I selfish, dishonest or afraid, but rather when was I? Are there times when I was selfish, dishonest and afraid that I have still not dealt with or that are effecting my spiritual condition now?

Do we owe an apology? Well that may depend on how well we've been walking the spiritual path. We should be doing regular spot checks on where we are spiritually, asking God for help and forgiveness when we get off track and quickly making any amends we may need to make because of our selfishness when we take our will back (Step 10). If we have done that well, we may not owe any apology or amends. But if we let something slip by undone, if we allowed fear or pride or resentment to keep us from doing what is right, we need to look at that. What better gift could we give ourselves this Christmas season that to relieve the guilt and shame that comes when we refuse to clean our side of the street? For that matter, making amends may be a blessing for the other people involved as well. We can't claim to be praying for peace on earth while refusing to take the first steps needed to make peace, forgiving others and asking for forgiveness (in that order).

So, how did we do? Were we mostly thinking of ourselves this year or did we think of others and put them and the will of God ahead of ourselves? Selfish or servant? If we are honest, I pray there was both, since I know we all had moments of selfishness, but which was the majority of the time filled with? Remember, we must be careful not to drift into worry, remorse or morbid reflection, for that would diminish our usefulness to others. After making our review we ask God's forgiveness and inquire what corrective measures should be taken.

If we did OK to pretty good, as long as we're giving ourselves an honest grade, rejoice. We have a reason to be Thankful, for God has given us and we have accessed the grace to walk with Him more than not this year. It may not be what we wanted for the year. We may have failed every goal and forgotten any and all resolutions, but we are free and walking with God by grace. That is something to be thankful for.

And if not? Then you have even more to be thankful for. That's right, more. Because God still loves you, He still desires to heal and restore your life and to set you free. God still loves you, no matter how you may have dropped the ball, or even if you decided to chunk it. Whether you risked returning to bondage by becoming careless with your spiritual condition or even if you slipped, fell or jumped back into the chains of the old master, His mercies are new every morning, and He is quick to forgive. Rejoice, for if you can read this, then you still have time to return to the God who loves you and wants to return you to the Promise Land and lead you out of the captivity you have returned to. If you have already returned to freedom from going back to Egypt earlier in the year, don't look at this year as a failure, but thank God for His faithfulness and His forgiveness. You can end the year free. Some who return to their bondage never make it back home alive.

Sometimes we fail a night or two to be honest with our review. Sometimes we are sick, tired or too busy and let the review slide. There may even be a dry period of a day or week or more where we let our spiritual life slide and didn't bother with a review or talking to God at all. Whatever the reason, sometimes we miss things that need to be worked on. We may have picked ourselves up and just returned to the journey without reviewing the time during and before we fell short. Or maybe we just need to see how God has been faithful and His grace has been sufficient and that we have had a good or great year, regardless of what our circumstances or bank balance may say. Take a look. Ask for forgiveness where needed, and rejoice for His forgiveness and grace. Regardless of if this year has been mostly an A+ or an F, we can end the year stronger, freer and closer to God than we started it, if we will seek Him and ask Him to search us, to see if there is any rebellion and sin within and lead us to the place in Him where those things are removed, forgiven and we are strengthened by His might and filled with His peace.




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