At one point I looked down at my little Burrito Monkey and told him that I wish he could share his energy with me. He asked why, and I told him so that maybe I could keep up with him. But he can't share his energy. I can find the desire to push past my comfort and do more out of my love for him, but his energy doesn't help me, and it wouldn't have offended or bothered me in the least if he had wanted to sit down, lean against a tree and watch the squirrels play. I just wanted to spend time with my grandson.
There are a few things people hear in recovery that can be confusing and daunting. They can also be heard in churches. I can't. He can. I'll let Him. I can't do this, break free of this, accomplish this on my own strength and in my own power. I need a power greater than me from outside of me to empower me to do what I need to do. God is our source for a power greater than us. But what does it mean to use God's power, God's strength to fight our battles? Does that mean that we don't have a part? Does that mean that we don't use effort too? I can't take energy from my grandson in order to keep up with him; how can I take power or strength from God to do what I can't do?
It may seem like I am trying to take recovery jargon and make it Christian. I assure you that I am not. I am stating something that is true in the recovery world because it is based on a spiritual truth about the grace of God. Grace is the undeserved and unearned ability for people to access the power of God to do what they do not have the power to do, namely to live a life contrary to the demands of and free from the bondage of the curse and in accordance with the perfect will of God and the ability to enter into relationship with our Holy Creator.
Wow. That is a bit of a mouthful. Addicts come to the place where they realize that they do not have the power to stop and to stay stopped. They need a Higher or Greater Power to help them say no to whatever has them in bondage. And the Bible tells us that Greater is He who is in us.
God is our strength. But letting God do for us what we can not do for ourselves is not like hiring a mechanic to fix our car because we can't fix it ourself. We're not out in the waiting room of our life while God is tinkering under the hood. We need His power and strength, but we are still working. We are told to put to death sin and self by the power of the Spirit. It is His power, but still we are to do it. We are told that if we walk, meaning live, think, act and react, by the and in the power of the Spirit we will not do what the carnal self (flesh) wants to do. But how? How do we overcome by someone else's strength? How do we walk in someone else's power?
It's not like the idea of borrowing energy from Baiden to keep up with Him. It's more like there has been a disaster. A storm blew through your property and fallen trees and debris have completely blocked the path out. Now what? You have to clear a path. But there is no way to do that on your own. It's not just that it would take a long time; it would be impossible. You would die before some of the trees would rot enough for you to break them up and move them. So, you climb into a bulldozer. A few hours later you have pushed a clear path through the wreckage. The bulldozer gives you the strength to do what you could never do, but you still have to be there, you have to access and use that power. The dozer sitting in the yard won't clear anything if you don't utilize it.
Still, that is not all that needs to be done. There's a path, but there's also still a mess.So you take a chainsaw and begin cutting the trees into manageable blocks, which are set in the bed of a truck that can carry more weight and more items at once than we could dream of carrying by ourselves in our arms. It's still work. It may even feel like very hard and tiring work and like you're doing a lot. My brother cuts trees down professionally, and I am sure he can testify that it is hard and dirty work. But you are not cutting that tree into manageable chunks. The saw is. You have two hands and could not cut wood with them if your life depended on it.
And that's the point. Our life does depend on our ability to clear a path and clear the mess from our lives and to prevent more wreckage and mess from happening because of our actions and we can not do that with our strength any more than we could move a forty foot pine tree out of our way without help. We still have a part to play, we have to use the bulldozer, the saw and the truck, we have to access and use the grace. But it is the grace that makes it possible. It is the strength of God that makes it doable.
Fine, I get it. But how? I don't know how to crank, much less drive a bulldozer, and I don't know how to access and use God's strength and grace. The first step is to surrender our will and lives to God. We can not rent the bulldozer, sorry. We must give up the idea that our life is our own. We give God a life we can't manage, that is making us miserable, we deny self and self will, and in exchange, He gives us a life that He directs and manages (so we don't have to), that is worth living and has peace, joy, love and purpose in place of misery. Awesome and not quite a fair trade, but that's what Christ made possible when He paid our debts and provided His rightness to be exchanged for our wrongness.
But how?
First, we admit that there is something that we need to do that can't be done by us. The tree needs to be moved. I need to get through this day without getting high or drunk. I need to love others the way God loves them. I need to do what's right and unselfish instead of pleasing myself at the expense of what others need. You get the idea. I need to walk with God. I need to say no to sin. I need to go through my day free from doing what my addiction to self (and other things) demands I do.
Next, talk to God. We need help. Ask Him for it.
Next trust Him to help. He is faithful to His word. That means He is an ever present help in times of trouble. That means He won't ever leave or forsake us, no matter how badly we have messed up. That means that it's not by our our might or our strength but by His Spirit that we can do whatever things we need to do and endure whatever we need to endure through Jesus. That means that there is a way of escape for every temptation and the power to walk with God dwells within us. That means He loves us. So, when we ask for His help, we can trust that we now have a saw to cut the tree up with. It may still take some effort to say no to sin, but what was impossible before is now something that can be done.
While we trust, we have to act. We put self and sin to death. We walk in His power. Holding a chainsaw won't make any difference. We have to act and use it. Do what is needed. Say no. Say yes to love. Obey. Serve. Live unselfishly. cut that huge tree into one step, one thing at a time, the next right thing, the next thing God wants us to do in order to show the world His love, His power and His way of life.
Finally, give thanks for the victory that He has made possible. Thank Him for the grace that enables us to walk with Him, to obey Him, to love others and say no to what we could never say no to before.
God is our strength. This is how we use that strength to walk in freedom and in service to Him. Let us access the grace that has set us free and shine the light of His love and power to those who are hurting and still in bondage.
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