Unshackled Moments ~ February 2, 2018 ~ The Frustrating Cost Of Free

Nothing is free right? It feels that way sometimes. Christians the wide world over speak about the free gift of salvation, the free gift of God's grace doing for us what we can't do for ourselves and the free gift of forgiveness. I myself have done this, and will continue to do it These are all freely given to us. But there must be a catch, because Jesus didn't try to fast talk us into a contract like some seedy used-car salesman. He spoke bluntly and truthfully about the cost and told those of us who would follow Him to count it before we commit.

I started thinking about the cost of free this morning during my devotions because of Bible Gateway. I have been using this site for years now in my morning devotions, and for Bible reading,  and for the record, I love it and highly recommend it. With a free account you can pick from many devotions and have them emailed to you each day. There are several Bible reading plans to choose from and  over 40 translations to choose from. I don't think I have prepared a single message in years without spending a little time looking up scriptures there. That said, they have recently gone the route of so many other sites and added a premium membership called Bible Gateway Plus for $3.99 a month.

I thought about signing up for it when it first started and chose not to. I didn't skip it because I felt it a poor value. It's probably worth every penny. There are Bible study tools, commentaries and more, with reduced ads on the website. I chose to stick with the free use because I counted the cost. I don't really use the site for commentaries (I have them elsewhere), and I don't know how much I would use the study tools. The ads on the site weren't much of a big deal for me, and they are only reduced, so even paying I would have to deal with ads. When I considered that I put in full-time hours in the ministry but without pay and that we live on my wife's part-time salary and some puppy money here and there, $50 a year is still more than I can spend if I am unsure I will use the extras. I decided to scroll past the ads and enjoy the  blessing of access without additional cost.

But over the last few days the ad situation has changed. Now they have started coming at the top of the email devotions I get, and for me, that's over two dozen emails a day. It's not Bible Gateway's fault, but the old computer I use and the email I have make it where all I see when I load the email is  the ad. I then have to scroll down to even see the title on the day's devotion and to read it. I have noticed the last couple of days that it's distracting me from the meditations, kind of like hitting a bump while driving down the road distracts from  a nice drive. I started to get frustrated until I decided it's a small price to pay to have these devotions sent directly to me each day. Instead of getting upset, I prayed for the grace to drive past the distraction without it being a problem, and I will now put more consideration into the subscription if it will remover the ads from the top of the emails. The folks who put the site together need to eat too.

There are few free sites around any more that don't  have ads to wade through. The radio has used ads forever, and most of the ad-free, volunteer supported Christian radio stations I have heard have as many commercials as regular stations. As annoying as ads are, they haven't kept me off YouTube or Pandora yet, and they won't keep from using BibleGateway either.

So, what's the point? This is not simply a rant against  ads or even me trying to come to terms with them. In a way though, the cost of this site I love has gone up. What I didn't even notice before when all the ads were at the bottom is now a distraction. That happens in just about every area of life. Costs increase. The price of gas right now is outrageous and seems to go up every day. About the time I get used to the last price increase on things I use every day, it goes up some more. The exception to that is following Jesus. That never goes up.

There is a cost to all the free we get from Daddy. Jesus didn't hide it or try to sneak it by us. This free gift costs us everything. All we are and all we have is laid at the foot of the cross and placed on the altar for God to use and do with as He sees fit. At first glance that may seem a high price to pay. But then I stop and think about the value of my life without that relationship. I hated myself and life was not worth living. I couldn't manage or control my life, and I couldn't stay clean and sober for anything. My life was a series of tragedies and destruction, and I spent my days trying to avoid the inevitable consequences of self will run riot and waiting to  see if the next big crises would finally kill me.

The thing is that if Jesus counted the cost, I can't imagine it looking like a good deal. His life for  my worthless one, the Great Exchange of His good and just for  my mess and mistakes. No one would want my life without Jesus. I surely didn't. Sometimes it is still a little annoying an frustrating to have to set aside self and pick up my cross. It can feel like a high price to lay down my life in service to Daddy and others, especially the others part. But the truth is that my life apart from God wasn't worth a plug nickle. Today, I am going on eight years free from the obsession to drink and drug, I have an amazing marriage, relationships with family and friends have been restored and the bridge of trust rebuilt, and I have purpose and contentment. I don't wake each day dreading what is to come and looking for escape. In short, I have a life worth living, and all it cost me was the trash of a life I wanted to be rid of in the first place, and that is well worth what I have received.

My Creator, I am now willing that you should have all of me, good and bad. I pray that you now remove from me every single defect of character which stands in the way of my usefulness to you and my fellows. Grant me strength, as I go out from here, to do your bidding. Amen.

- Step Seven Prayer

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