Have mercy upon me, O God, according to Your mercy; according to the greatness of Your compassion eradicate my rebellion. Wash me thoroughly from my iniquity and cleanse me from my sin. For I acknowledge my rebellion; and my sin is ever before me.
- Psalm 51:1-3
It's the start of another week. When I read the above verses from Psalm, I thought what a great passage for a Monday! Then, arguing with myself, as I sometimes do, sounds more like Saturday night or Sunday morning than a Monday. That second thought came from the what it was like portion of my thinker. I know brain would be a more correct word than thinker, but sometimes I am not sure if those old thoughts and old way of thinking come more from my brain or my heart. But regardless, the thoughts do come from time to time. That old mentality that said laugh now, cry later. The idea that it's easier to get forgiveness than to get permission or live right. That part of me that embraced the ideas of eat, drink and be merry for tomorrow we die and live fast, party hard, die young and leave a pretty corpse pops up at times. Today it said these are the kinds of verses that come at the end of the week, not at the start. Because by the end of the week it is most needed.
I considered the old thinking for a second, but I disagree. I love it when that happens. When I hear that old voice, actually think about it and come to the conclusion that its wrong. That didn't happen often in the past. The truth of the matter is that I think the prayer and attitude found in these verses are perfect for the start of the day, the start of a week, a month, a year....just the start. Why? Because my experience is that as I rise or finish one thing and turn to the next, basically, as I prepare to begin whatever I'm beginning, I still have a tendency to think first about how I want to do things. My first instinct is to run things, plan things and think about my way at the beginning. That is the very essence of a rebellious spirit. It is still often the first voice I hear is my own saying my will be done. OK, it's usually more subtle and says something closer to what would be the best way for me to do this?
Well, the only way that doesn't get me in a pickle is if the answer is God's way. The better way for me to begin is to ask how does Daddy want me to do what is before me? Because if I wait until the end of the day or the week or the project or whatever to acknowledge that there is a part of me that still wants to rule, then I end up spending a lot of time battling self. And probably losing more than not. Then I am repenting of being unloving and creating destruction and misery and probably even having to make amends for damage done to others as a result of slipping back into the bondage of self.
On the other hand, there's these words of wisdom from Psalm 51 showing me a much better way to begin each new moment or thing. Have mercy upon me, O God....I need your help Daddy. Already, before I even begin I need mercy and help. ....according to Your mercy; according to the greatness of Your compassion..... I know that You desire to help me because You care for me, You are merciful and Your compassion for me is great. ....eradicate my rebellion. Doesn't this sound a lot like relieve me of the bondage of self we pray in the Third Step Prayer? Well, I like this even more. This day Daddy, during this moment, as I do this next thing I need to do, eradicate my rebellion, demolish the part of me that demands my way and the voice that says my will not Yours be done. Wash me thoroughly from my iniquity and cleanse me from my sin. For I acknowledge my rebellion; and my sin is ever before me. I need You, Oh Lord, to make me clean and new with Your love and Your mercy, which is new every morning, because from the moment I awake the battle begins and the part of me not yet in submission tries to have its say, forgive me. But I see that my way is rebellion and that if I listen to self over You I will fall and miss the mark. So have mercy on me here at the start, so that my rebellious self is brought back under subjection to You before it has any influence. Let You and You alone guide and dictate my actions and reactions and steps through this day.
Today, at the start of the week, and at each and every new beginning, at each progress point in the game of life, let us remember to nip the rebellion of our hearts in the bud, before it can hinder our walk. There's no reason to wait until the damage is done to get help and mercy from Daddy. It may be true that it's easier to get forgiveness than permission, but it's better to access the mercy and grace to walk free than to need forgiveness.
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