My response is my responsibility. That doesn't always mean that I control my response. Sometimes I can't. Most times actually, because if I am running on my own will, strength and power, my default, my first instinct, my natural reaction is usually not the way God would respond to the same situation.
Sometimes, a lot of times, things don't go our way. People say and do things that interfere with the way we would prefer the situation to be or go. Sometimes we are inconvenienced. Sometimes we are bothered and or offended. Sometimes we are insulted or outright attacked by others. Sometimes when we try to serve and help others or simply to love and do what we believe God wants us to do, we step on the toes others and they retaliate. We can't control how others act or respond to us, and to try will drive us crazy. It is not our calling or responsibility to control how others act or react toward us. But how we interact with and respond to them is our responsibility.
Still, I can't control all of my reactions any more than I can control my self will. They are inseparable. Sometimes the best way that I can fulfill my responsibility is to get out of the way, to pause and surrender before acting. Surrender to the Spirit within so that I can respond with love, kindness, understanding, compassion, mercy, patience and other attributes of Daddy that are not always in my nature. When someone is angry or upset with me, it is in my nature to become defensive and or angry back. But that is not how God responds to me when I am upset. This is especially true when I am trying to be loving and helpful.
Have you ever tried to help someone and they got upset with you? If you're anything like me, the natural response it to get upset and attack. It seems foolish to say that the reflex is to strike out at someone who we were trying to help seconds earlier, but that's often the way it is.
You jerk! Can't you see that I'm trying to help you? Fine suffer then! I won't help. Do it on your own. Fall off that cliff that I can clearly see in your path! Don't come crying to me when it all goes wrong!
When I was a boy, we had a dog named Trixie. She was a gentle and sweet cockapoo, and she only bit someone, my father, once. Trixie got shot with a BB gun. The BB embedded in her inner thigh and caused her a lot of pain. My father went to help her. Removing the BB caused her pain, despite the fact that it had to be done and was the only thing to do to remedy her situation. She whirled around and bit my father's hand. He didn't react in anger. He stayed calm, held her head down and as gently as possible finished removing the BB. Afterward, Trixie returned to her normal and gentle self. It blew my mind. I would have beat her for biting me and told my father so. He told me she couldn't help it. She acted on instinct because of her pain and it wasn't really about wanting to hurt him but rather stopping her hurt. She couldn't understand he was helping.
Sometimes people who are hurting bite us, even when we are trying to help them. It takes the grace of God and the power of the Spirit to respond to them with kindness and patience. But to allow the love of God to control our reactions is what we are called to do, to respond as Jesus would. We can't keep people from trying to bite because of their brokenness and pain, but if we are going to be a part of their healing and a part of the solution to their need, if we are going to be a demonstration of God's love in their lives, we must respond to them as God would.
At the same time, we must remember that we can't make everyone happy or please all the people all of the time. Not even Jesus was able to do that. In order to reach those who were outcast and most in need, He ticked off a segment of the religious and self-righteous and those who were unable to see their own need.
I remember a time when a woman had her car break down in a busy intersection in town. People were driving around her, going about their business as best they could. The horns and angry glares of passerbys showed that some were more upset than others at being slowed down by the obstacle her vehicle made. I and another man tried to help push her car from the intersection to a parking lot out of the way, but we couldn't. Every time we got the car moving we had to stop because cars were still trying to drive around us. Finally, I got in my truck, pulled into the intersection and blocked the path so no one could go around us. Now traffic was completely stopped and people were upset. But we were then able to push the car out of the way. I moved my truck and traffic began to flow normally. Some were inconvenienced. Some were upset. But the woman most in need was helped, and in the long run even more people were served because traffic returned to normal and the traffic that came by even a few minutes later wasn't impeded. A few people were inconvenienced in order to provide the best service to all concerned.
Those who were bothered were not within my control. I couldn't make them more patient or understanding. I couldn't make them less hindered and still help. By doing what was right, someone was going to be slowed down and delayed. I still needed to do the right thing or the mess would have stayed a mess. Those who were upset though could have helped themselves. They could have gotten out of self long enough to realize it was better for the woman to get help than it was to make sure they weren't inconvenienced. They could have gotten out of their vehicles and helped us push the car out of the way, making the situation be resolved more quickly. Or they could've been upset and angry that what they wanted, to be able to just move on without having their day interfered with, wasn't happening. How they responded was their responsibility.
Today let us respond to those we encounter with love, kindness and patience, even when they are striking out and acting rabid. When we can't control our reactions to respond as Christ would, let us be quick to surrender control and our will to God so that the Spirit can empower us to respond in love. And let us not stop ourselves from doing what is right because we see or fear negative responses from others. Controlling their reactions is not our responsibility but theirs. We can not make ourselves patient and unselfish. We surely can't make someone else see that they are being selfish or make them understand that, as Spock said,
the needs of the many outweigh the needs of the few, or the one. Do what's right. Respond with loving kindness to everyone, and pray for those who bite the helping hand.
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