Now I don't know the details, motives and reasons here, so I am giving him the benefit of the doubt. I love the kid, and he rarely makes me feel old when we're talking comics and movies. Yesterday though I heard that he was unmotivated to finish Driver's Ed. I was floored and felt so old I almost checked prices on walkers. Back in my day...
Sigh, did I really think that, say that, and write that? Yes. In the ancient days of the 80s, I didn't know anyone my age who didn't want to get Driver's Ed over with. Sure, there were several of us that didn't want to take it, but because it wasn't fun or, in my case, necessary. I wanted to just go to the DPS and take the test. I had been driving for years by the time I got my permit. Driver's Ed was a waste of time and money in my opinion, but the law said it was the only path to get my license at 16. I didn't want to take it, but nothing could have stopped me. I wanted that license.
Getting the license was critical. It was independence and freedom. It was a rite of passage showing the world that I was no longer a child but that instead I was one day closer to death and taxes and having to be responsible for myself, and having to choose who would lead this country. Awesome. I was ready. If I had been smarter I would have drug my heals and waited. Maybe my nephew has the right idea. Don't be in such a hurry to grow up and join the rat race. After all, it's full of rats. Keep in mind, he may not be feeling that way at all. He may be chomping at the bit to turn 16 and drive like I was and just trying to postpone the agony of someone trying to teach him what he thinks he already knows. The boy may think he's grown already.
I sure did at that point in my life. It's a miracle I survived the 80s. The mistakes I made as a teen led to the mistakes I made in my 20s, which led me to misery, destruction and prison. Sometimes it still shocks me that God didn't let me die. I tried hard enough to shorten my existence on earth, sometimes purposefully, more often by simply pushing the edge further and further. Better to burn out in a blaze of glory than to fade away. Live fast, die young and leave a pretty corpse. I actually tried to joke away my self destruction with mottoes like that.
But now I am growing older. I have made it 15 years further than I ever thought I would. I never intended to or believed I would see 30, and I'm 45. I'm not really old, although sometimes I feel it, but I am definitely middle aged, and I am sure I look, sound and act beyond old to teens who think they know everything and think their 30 something parents are too old to understand them. I think there's a good chance I am going to live to see a ripe old age. I'm looking forward to it, which is something I never thought I would say when I was stuck in the 80s and dying to speed up time so I could escape. Now there are several hours a day I wish I could slow down. Time is going by so quickly, and I only found my treasure six years ago, I pray for time to slow when she is with me the way I used to pray for it to accelerate when I was stuck in high school.
Why am I here? Haven't I found that answer? Oh yeah, I wrote about that less than a week ago in the Unshackled Moment for October 7 ~ Why Are We Here? I guess what I am really asking is how am I here? God kept me. That's all there is to it. Through all the pain and all the stupid choices and the times I seemed to seek a Darwin Award, and the suicide attempts and the Valley of the Shadow I pitched camp in rather than walk on through, it is truly a miracle I made it this far. Too many of my friends and party associates didn't. I don't know why God keeps some like me who court death and deserve the grave and lets others dance into the afterlife.
I do know it's not a question of love, because God loved my fallen friends as much as he loved me. I know it's not a question of deserving, because I know my life, my past and who I am in my heart when it turn my life into a No God Allowed club house. I know it's tied to how I am free. I could never walk free from the chains that I have wrapped myself in on my own. If it weren't for the grace of God I would have been high yesterday, if I lived that long. When I couldn't imagine just saying no, God kept me.
I don't know why, but I am so glad that He did. I do know this though. If you, Dear Reader, are still alive, and I am assuming you are since you are reading this and zombies don't read, then He has kept you as well. For whatever reason that you may or may not ever know on this side of eternity, He has kept you and given you the opportunity to be made free and whole. If the journey is already begun, praise God! Don't quit. Don't hold back. Don't let religion or church or stupid Christians or the illusion of happy heathens and the lives of the party dancing their way to destruction distract you from the source of life worth living. It's not Christianity. It's Christ. Wrapping ourselves deeply and unhindered and uninhibited in relationship with the God who actually loves us and has kept us so that we could know Him is the way to wholeness and peace and joy and freedom.
If you haven't yet begun or have taken a rest stop, please join me on this pilgrimage. We're off to see the King who's kept us. He will give us peace and joy and love and yes, even wisdom and courage. But He's no wizard, no illusionist or con artist. He's not hiding behind a curtain. The curtain has been torn into and cast aside. The people in the courtyard can be quite the distraction, some bring us joy and some bring pain, but they are not the point. The point is to see Him, not them. He has promised and provided for a private audience. No matter who you are, what you've done or haven't done, whether you've never thought there really was anyone behind the curtain of life or whether you got hurt and angry and cursed the God you knew was there when the man holding the bridle of the horse of a different color let the beast bite you, He wants to bring you to Himself, alone, just the two of you and show you how much He loves you and heal your wounds and restore your soul and tell you that He'll keep on keeping you.
Unshackled Life Ministries is grateful for every person that reads the daily Unshackled Moments and or listens to the messages. I want to thank those who have clicked "like" on something that blessed or ministered to them. It is encouraging to know that God is using this ministry to help and bless others. Please remember that if God used something from this ministry to help, encourage or bless you, it could also bless someone else. Would you help get the devotions to more people by sharing the Moments and messages that you read or listen to? Hitting the share button instead of or in addition to the like button will help us reach more people with the good news of freedom and the encouragement to live an Unshackled Life. Thank you and God bless.
If you would like to have notifications of new Unshackled Moments and messages sent to you via email, send an email to dalynwoodard@mail.com requesting to be added to the list. You can also follow Dalyn Woodard (@Dalynsmsings) on Twitter or Unshackled Life Ministries on Facebook.
No comments:
Post a Comment