Unshackled Moments ~ October 15 ~ Tight Walk Of Terror

The greatest single cause of atheism in the world today is Christians who acknowledge Jesus with their lips then walk out the door and deny him by their lifestyle. That is what an unbelieving world simply finds unbelievable.

- Brennan Manning

What if I stumble and what if I fall? What if I lose my step and I make fools of us all? Will the love continue when my walk becomes a crawl? What if I stumble and what if I fall? You never turn in the heat of it all. What if I stumble? What if I fall? You are my comfort And my God.

- Toby Mac

Don't give up, it takes a while. I have seen this look before, and it's alright. You're not alone if you don't love this anymore. I hear that you've slipped again. I'm here 'cause I know you'll need a friend. And you know that accidents can happen, and it's okay, We all fall off the wagon sometimes. It's not your whole life. It's only one day. You haven't thrown everything away. 

Take some time and learn to breathe and remember what it means to feel alive and to believe something more than what you see. I know there's a price for this, but some things in life you must resist. 

- Sixx AM 

That fear of falling is the tight walk of terror that every Christian knows or knew, and so does every recovered addict, regardless of the type or nature of the addiction. What if I stumble? What I fall? What if I flipping jump like a junkie lemur? On one hand, we strive for progress not perfection and we know that we are saints because of the righteousness of Christ poured out on us, and yet we are not saints but sinners when who we are in our own strength is seen. No mater how hard we try, no matter how determined we are or how strong our will is, without leaning on the grace of God and living by the power of the Spirit, it's not a question of if we'll fall. It's when and how bad will it be.

And then there's that wind of reputation that blows like a hurricane as we try to walk the wire across a canyon. That rotten apple the ruins the reputation of the whole barrel that none of us wants to be, but feels at least is possible, if not the hidden truth of our identity. It's why we can be so harsh and vicious when the weak among us wander from the pack and even more quick to attack and cannibalize when its the ones who appeared strong but whose weaknesses were exposed when they tried and failed to walk with God without relying totally on His grace to do so.

How many preachers and Christian musicians and actors have destroyed their lives when some sin has been exposed to the world and their fellow believers attack and devour them, many who have the same sins of lying, greed, lust, etc.?  There's a reason why Jesus said those without sins cast the first stone, because if he hadn't the stones were about to fly as people quieted their guilty conscience by killing someone worse than them.

What about the poor unfortunate with the follow me to an AA meeting bumper sticker parked at the scumiest out of the way bar a county away from home? The truck driver with the Jesus fish on his trailer stopping at an adult video arcade or arrested for trying to purchase the services of a lot lizard? Or what about the recovered one, who has spoken so often on how to walk free and stay free, who has helped many and has over a decade clean or sober or whatever term fits his addiction, who has to admit, head down and voice quivering, that after all those years he slipped, lapsed, fell, jumped, chose, sinned?

Oh the damage we can do. It is frightening. We are to be the light of the world, but when the light is shined on us, the picture gets ugly, scary and sad pretty quick. It's why we must point to the light on Him whom is due the glory, because God's righteousness can take the scrutiny ours will never stand. But even that can leave us wobbly on the wire. Doesn't it look like God failed to keep me if I fall half way across the canyon and I made it clear to everyone  that I was relying on His grace to walk rather than a net to catch?

The demand to be perfect so we don't hurt the witness is the wrong witness. Manning was right, when we preach Jesus with our lips and live like heathens it does great damage. There is a difference between not being perfect and denying God with our lifestyle. I need to be the love of Jesus in the life of every single person I encounter for every single second of those encounters. And I fail at that all the time. So do you. We're not going to be perfect and to hide that we still have flaws, imperfections and sin in our life doesn't help the witness of The Way, it harms it as much as jumping back into the deep canyon of sin does.

Satan will tell you to hide the struggle so that people will see Jesus. He doesn't want people to see Jesus. He's just trying to get you to forget that what is done and kept in darkness will be brought to light, and the longer it's hidden, the worse it looks when exposed. If we are honest about the struggles we have and don't act like people who have walked with God long enough to stop being beginners shouldn't ever struggle with sin anymore, we can get help before what is a little spiritual struggle turns into a devastating defeat.

And when we are wrong, promptly admit it. That's part of Step 10. Steps 10-12 are sometimes referred to as maintenance steps because these are used to continue to walk in the freedom we have been given. These steps are the long pole we use to keep us safe and balanced while we walk the wire.  We continue to take personal inventory and when we are wrong, promptly admit it. When we are wrong. Not if someday, perhaps, we might possibly be or do wrong again. When. It's going to happen. It does happen. The heart that is quick to repent rather than justify, excuse or ignore is a heart God treasures and can continue to use.

It is in dealing with, admitting and not trying to Pharisee away the small struggles and wobbles that keep us free from the big ones. If we ignore the tiny wobble as we walk the wire, if we pretend we are balanced when we are not, then the problem will not be a wobble but a fall that can't be disguised or hidden. We will fall to the canyon floor and our secrets will be exposed like our guts on the rocks below. We will either serve as a light of how to be honest and walk humbly, like Paul admitting that he does those things he hates, or we will serve as examples of what not to do and who not to be, like the Pharisee.

Don't live in fear of the stumble. Don't get wrapped up in pride that says I can't admit struggle if I have been recovered for so long or if I have been a Christian for so many years, or I teach classes, lead groups, etc. The mature Christian admitting struggle and showing how to turn to God for the power of grace, the mature leader needing encouragement, counseling and prayer from another, is a witness that we don't do this  alone. It helps, not hinders, as the new person knows not to hesitate when he or she needs help. Also don't listen to the lie that says if we are less than perfect we are falling to our deaths. No, it's not perfection or nothing. Call on Jesus. Have a heart that is quick to repent. He is our comfort as well as our God, and His mercies are new every morning.

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