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Monday, July 3, 2017

Unshackled Moments ~ July 3, 2017 ~ Forget Forgiving First

All across the world today people in recovery will be praying The Lord's Prayer at the end of 12 Step meetings. People in churches and in private devotions will be doing so as well. Some prefer to call this prayer The Disciple's Prayer rather than The Lord's Prayer, because Jesus didn't pray it but rather used it as the framework from which the disciples were told to build their own prayers. And there is, in the middle of this prayer so many of us either pray or use as a guide for our prayer, what St. Augustine called the terrible petition.

Why he called the part of the prayer on forgiveness the terrible petition is the idea that if we really pray this we are, in a lot of ways and times, asking God not to forgive us. That's because we so often fail to forgive and refuse to forgive and forget we forgave, and if God only gives forgiveness based on the way we forgive others, we're screwed. Thank God, His grace and His renewing mercies that it isn't like that at all.

Well, that's a little arrogant. Disagreeing with spiritual and theological greats like Augustine, CS Lewis, Charles Spurgeon, John Wesley, and others probably means that you're wrong. That' makes sense, if they're God and always right and if I was saying that they are wrong. They're not God, and I'm not saying they're wrong. I'm saying this magical formula idea that we sometimes get in our heads about this prayer, and many prayers and promises in scripture for that matter, is wrong. Any time we believe that we are able to control God through a formula or rite, we're off track somewhere. If you are able to manage to forgive everyone who ever hurt you, that does not, I repeat does not, force God to forgive you. And if you are unable on your own to forgive others and you pray The Lord's Prayer, I promise you, you didn't just curse yourself. God isn't forced to not forgive you because you are unable to forgive.

Your forgiveness was earned, but not by you. It was bought and paid for by the blood of Jesus. God forgives us because of and through the life, death and resurrection of Christ. Period. It is an if this is true, then this should also be true statement, but we, as we so easily and frequently do, have it all backwards. We read the verse that says, [Father] forgive us our sins, trespasses, debts as we forgive those who sinned, trespassed against us and owe us. Then we go, OK, I must forgive others so that God will then have to or will then want to or will then agree to forgive me.

But that is not what Jesus said. If this is a conditional statement, as something in our hearts insists it must be, then the first condition is that we must approach it as given. The first giver of forgiveness in this is not us but Daddy. Daddy, forgive me. Daddy wants to forgive us. Daddy sent His Son to make everything possible to remain just and show us mercy and forgiveness at the same time. Daddy says our forgiveness is real, available, and most of all freely ours, no matter what we do or have done, because of what Jesus did and the Spirit within us that says we are His.

It is that awesome grace, that amazing love, that Father first forgiveness that satisfies the conditionality we insist must be there. Yes, forgiveness is conditional. I can't forgive you, not really. You probably can't forgive me. Not of anything serious. Because it is in our nature to demand to be repaid. We love vengeance. We believe our wrongs were understandable under the circumstances or that we should be shown mercy, but they....they should pay for what they did.  But God. But God came and took on flesh, then took on our sin, then we killed Him and He rose and said I love you anyway. How awesome is that!? Then we said I love You too! (We love Him because He first loved us - I John 4:19) Please forgive me. He said I forgive you, not because you deserve it, not because you're really, really sorry, not because you won't do it again, not because of you at all. I forgive you because you need Me to and I love you.

Then, while still a mess but getting better, from a thankful heart, amazed at the way we have been forgiven even though we know we don't deserve it, as that has happened to us, we forgive others. Because of grace (the power of God in us which enables us to do and be what we could never do or be on our own) we are able to forgive others in the same way and same manner that God forgave us, because we love Him and love them and they need it.

It's not I did so He must. Or I didn't so He won't. It's He did so I can. It's He did so I want to. It's I want to give away what I have already been given. It's I still mess up and still fall short, so Daddy I need more forgiveness, I need ongoing forgiveness, and I need Your will to continue to be done, Your rule to continue to reign in my life, so that I won't get in the way....I need my daily needs met so that I will have the resources necessary to do what you would have me to do, and that includes to continue to provide ongoing and continual forgiveness towards others as You are giving it to me.

There is a reason the forgiveness is down further in the prayer. Even there we mess it up. But the prayer begins not with a condition or demand for us to do something. It begins with acknowledging and remembering who we are praying to. Daddy. Hey Daddy. We start with who He is, and who He is is our Creator who loves us and made a way for us and who always makes the first move and satisfies the conditions. He does everything so that we can want to, be able to and even hope to respond to what He did. He loves so we can love. And He forgave so that we can forgive. It is conditional. If you have not been forgiven of God, you have no hope of being able to forgive the truly horrible destruction you have endured. But if you come to Him, because He loves you, receive His love and grace, and come to understand and believe that you truly have been forgiven of everything, including that thing that no one knows about but you and the voice that likes to remind you when it gets dark and quiet....then, when you are His, because you are His, with understanding, awe and gratitude at having been forgiven by Daddy, it becomes possible for you to forgive as well.

Make no mistake. Forgiveness is no different than any other attribute of God. Like love, and mercy and joy and goodness, we can't do it. At least we can't do it perfectly or constantly. Some of us can forgive more than others. Some of us are more loving and merciful than others. But we all have a point where things become too much. I can't forgive them, and I can't forgive that. We all do. There is a point in the best of us that still says, no, that I can't forgive. That doesn't even make sense to forgive. But God did forgive it, while still demanding and obtaining justice for what happened. And like love, and mercy and our obedience and being good and doing what is right, forgiveness is beyond us, but it is possible through the power of Him who is in us. It is easier for me to say no to drink and drug than to forgive. I used to could do neither. But today I can do both. Not because I have made myself better or stronger, but because He changed me and enabled me to say no to the things that enslaved me and be free, even free to forgive that which I could never forgive.


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