It seems pretty simple and basic doesn't it? That's why I said this is more of a reminder than a new lesson. As I mentioned in my message Wednesday night, we don't so much need a new revelation or understanding as much as we need to have the Holy Spirit reveal to us and bring to mind what we already know so that we know it in practice as well as intellectually. There are two things that it's hard to receive with our hands full. Help and anything else.
I'll start with the anything else. Have you ever had your hands full and had someone try to give you something? It's frustrating isn't it? What is most likely to happen? If you're anything like me, the first thing that happens is an evaluation. Is this really something I want or need enough to make it worth whatever I am about to have to go through in order to receive it? So, if the answer is yes, that doesn't make it easier. It only leads to more questions. Can it wait? Can you give it to me later or can I come get it later? Yes? Awesome. Problem solved, except that I don't yet have whatever was being given. I have to wait until my hands aren't full. But what if I can't wait or if it's something that has to be received then or never? Well, once again, if you're like me, Dear Reader, the question becomes one of contortion and strength. I begin shifting things in my hands so that I have a few fingers free to try to hold whatever it is with a few fingers until I can set something down, which is a struggle and sometimes leads to having to pick things back up after dropping them. Or I shift my load to one hand, perhaps bracing it against my body, once again hoping that I don't lose my grip and drop something. Or, if that's not going to work, I have to give in to the need to set something down so that I can receive whatever is being given.
And this can even be help. Sometimes it's difficult to even get help with our load when our hands are full. This happens with Leah and I fairly often. Sometimes when Leah gets off work she stops for groceries on the way home. The vast majority of the time I carry the groceries in for her, as in every time that I know that she has them and she gives me a chance. As soon as I know she's home, I go out to get the groceries. A lot of times I get there in time to give her a kiss as she exits the van, I open the back, grab the bags and carry them inside. She lets me. But on those occasions that I don't hear her pull up and don't get to her as quickly, she rarely waits or comes on inside and just tells me there's groceries in the van. Nope. I get out to the van, or, worse at times, to the front door as she is trying to get up our nightmare front steps and into the house with a burden that I seriously don't want or need her to bear. At these times I rush to her and try to take her load, but it's difficult.
Her hands are so full of bag straps and everything is twisted and grabbed together and wrapped around her wrists that even releasing it to me is hard to do. There has been more than once where she has simply needed me to move back out of the way, because it was easier for her to finish carrying everything into the house than to hand it over. Sometimes the solution is to set everything down on the ground and let me pick it up rather than taking it from her hands. The point is that once we've got a burden in our hands it's not always such an easy thing to release all or part of it to someone else, even when we want to.
And this is what happened to me Wednesday evening as the worship service began. By worship service I mean the entire church service, from the gathering together before the opening prayer until we leave. I wanted desperately to enter into awareness of His presence and be where I needed to be mentally, emotionally, and especially spiritually in order to preach. But as we prayed together I had to fight to keep my mind from going elsewhere. We were interceding as a group on behalf of people in extreme need, and my mind selfishly kept going to my mental notes and concerns about the sermon. I fought to focus where I should, and without it ever ceasing to be a fight, the prayer came to an end and the music began. We sang songs of worship and praise, and it's about my favorite part of the service as I simultaneously give and receive to and from Daddy. Music can take me right into the Holy of Holies. I often keep instrumental music on when I pray, because it just helps me.
But not Wednesday evening, at least not at first. I wanted to give worship to God, because I needed my heart to be right in order to serve. I wanted to receive from Him, because I knew that was the only way that my heart would be made right and that I would be able to give and serve as He would have me do. I wanted to express my love for Him and receive awareness of His love for me, because that's what relationship with our Daddy is all about. And I just couldn't quite get there. I noticed that some of the worshipers in the sanctuary with me had raised their hands palms up to give without holding back and to receive whatever love and blessing the Spirit wished to give them.
My hands however were full,. My fists were clenched with anxiety (read fear), frustration (read anger) and the desire to control things. And this doesn't just happen in church. Remember, it's all worship, our entire lives are to be lived in service to Daddy. Step 3 says it like this: made a decision to turn our will and lives over to the care of God, as we understood Him. Give up our will and life, surrender. Romans 12:1 says the same thing in a different way:Therefore I urge you, brethren, by the mercies of God, to present your bodies a living and holy sacrifice, acceptable to God, which is your spiritual service of worship. Our lives are not our lives; they're His. And we live them as sacrifices of worship in service out of love for Daddy and love for others.
And in that spirit, as we go about our day, we need to receive from Daddy, because we need His provision to accomplish love and service, we need His power to overcome the bondage of self. But we reach out to receive, and our hands are full. Full of fear and anger. Full of resentments, regrets and worry. And then what? We struggle with trying to juggle what we're holding onto and still receive, or we have to wait and tell God by our actions to try later but we can't take what He's offering at the moment, thanks anyway, or we have to begin the process of putting everything down at the foot of the cross so that He can carry what needs to be carried, He can dispose of the rest, and we can receive the blessings and love and provision that He has for us. He doesn't want us to carry that stuff. He certainly doesn't need us to. It makes our life difficult and miserable. It zaps our strength, drains our joy, disturbs our peace and dims the light of love by blocking our ability to reflect Him, like clouds between the earth and the moon.
It isn't always easy to let go, but it is critical that are hands aren't full of anything that isn't from Him. So, today, won't you join me in opening our hands and hearts to give and receive from Daddy? Lord, we release our worries and ask You to take or dispose of them so that we can walk in and be an instrument of Your peace. We release our regrets and shame and self condemnation over the past and receive again the understanding of Your mercy and forgiveness so that we can walk boldly in Your presence and be quick to offer forgiveness to others. We release our anger over past hurts, over not getting what we want, the way we wanted it, when we wanted it, and over not being able to manage and control our lives and the will and lives of others, and instead receive the joy from knowing that even the scars we bear are being used to bring us closer to You and deeper into relationship with You and to help demonstrate to others You power, Your compassion, and most of all, Your faithful love. We release our fear and receive the surety that You are with us and for us, that Your are our refuge and strength so that we can confidently and courageously face and endure whatever comes this day and can help others to see that they can trust in You as well.
Bless us and keep us and shine Your face upon us, that we may bless others, show them the way to You and reflect Your love upon them.
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