Working with others is a way to give it away and key to staying sober. I am convinced that those I have worked with, mentored and taken through the steps have done more to help me than I did for them. But, from my experience, for the best results for them, you and others, don't work with them to stay sober. Helping them as a means to help yourself is much better than not helping them at all, but it's a selfish motivation, and since we're trying to be rid of selfishness and self centeredness.... Lord, today and every day I want to come to the place where I am reaching out with a hand of compassion, helping others in need, and giving what I have been giving, in other words, passing it on and serving, because I care for those I would help and serve, because my greatest desire is to see them free, in relationship with You and living a life worth living. Let me enjoy the benefits and blessings that come to my life through service to You and others, but let them be bonuses, not motivation. And let me remember also that if I am not doing it for me, then if they do not respond as I would want or show gratitude for my service, that I don't have to be hurt or upset, because it's not about me. Amen
The way of a fool is right in his own eyes, But a wise man is he who listens to counsel.
- Proverbs 12:15
Where there is no guidance the people fall, But in abundance of counselors there is victory.
- Proverbs 11:14
Some translations have victory in that second verse as safety. I like both options. The actual word is rescue (literal or figurative, personal, national or spiritual.): translated in scripture as deliverance, help, safety, salvation, victory. Personally I like the literal translation best. The purpose in working the spiritual program of recovery is to put myself in submission to and in contact with God. My best thinking is what proved to me, through failure after failure and mess after mess and one broken relationship stacked on top of another until I feared I would lose all family and every friend, that I couldn't control or manage my life and was in total and complete need of God's help and to be rid of self. Now I have a relationship with the Spirit, and as long as He is doing the leading and guiding I need not fear where I am going or what I will go through. But I am not yet perfect, and my old self still rises up within me, the poltergeist of my past nature, desires and motives, causing confusion and interfering with reception. I don't believe we get to the point where we never need wise counsel. Wise counsel rescues me from avoidable pitfalls, from fear of walking outside of God's will (because it helps me to stay in it), and from the way that seems right to my mind but in the end leads to destruction. You're never going to be sober enough, clean enough, free enough or a mature enough Christian to be able to do it on your own. Wise and Godly counsel is a must for spiritual safety.
And there are others, family and close friends, who can see me better than I can see myself. In my case, there is no one more sensitive to my shifts in mood, thinking, behavior, and feelings than my wife. She sees subtle course adjustments in me long before I see that the ship has changed course. She helps me to know where I am at, mentally, emotionally, and spiritually, and if I need to check myself and get back on track. Sometimes she is better at expressing that in a way I can receive it instantly, and I can snap a quick and grateful course correction. Other times it takes me a while to be able to let go of whatever is bothering me and realize that she was right. I suspect (strongly) that the difference in those times has much more to do with me than with how she is letting me know. But whether I realize that I have gotten back in self quickly or it takes a little while, I am always grateful for her input and help. And that is also true of my parents and anyone else who is close enough and honest enough with me to call me on my crap. But what my wife, parents, or anyone else, can't do, is change me. No one else can make it better. No one else can change the way I feel or am acting or reacting. No one can take away the confusion, frustration and fear. No one, that is, except God. And that is true for you as well, Dear Reader. Our personal relationships can be wonderful blessings, and great indicators of how we are doing. Other people can help us get back where we need to be. But no one in our life, not spouse, parent, child, counselor, friend, or any other, is God. They can not do for us what only God can do. We must not look to them as our answer or solution to our problems, to supply us with our spiritual needs, or as the refuge to protect us from ourselves and keep us free. Only God can do those things, and to look for a person in our life to do God's part is unfair and cruel and a weight they can not bear and will only lead to misery, disappointment and heartache, most likely for everyone, when they inevitably fail and fall short of the perfect love and wisdom of Daddy.
Be grateful for the people that are a blessing and a help. Be of service, today and every day. Seek wise and Godly counsel. But don't ever forget that there is a God and that you're not it, and neither is anyone else in your life besides Him. Seek Him and let Him be your solution, safety and course setter and you will never be ashamed or disappointed that you did. People will fail, but the love of God never fails.
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