Unshackled Moments ~ December 22, 2017 ~ Joy That Doesn't Burn Away

I've spent the last few days speaking about joy that isn't shaken by circumstances. It would be easy to wonder if I really meant it, or more, if my circumstances have been stormy enough to test such statements.  Am I preaching Pollyanna philosophy or the truth of the Spirit giving joy that can't be stolen by adversity?

While this Moment will be scheduled  for readers to see Friday, I am actually writing it this Tuesday evening. For those who are regular readers that may sound strange. I usually do my writing in the mornings, so why the switch?

Well, I wanted to get some of what I am feeling down and out. I am still a little shell shocked. The photo to the right is what has me shaken. To me this looks like a beautiful religious abstract work of art. perhaps that is what it appears to be to you as well. But what it actually is a photo of is a portion of the wall of our living room. The light color to the far right is the original color, or close to it anyway. The rest of the image is what it looks like after the fire this afternoon.

I messed up. I went out to feed the animals and didn't blow out the Advent candles before I went outside. The only thing we can figure is that the cat must have pulled on the table covering the wreath sat on or jumped up there and knocked one of the candles over. I don't know. What I know is that I didn't put the candle out and when I came back inside the living room blazed and black smoke filled the house. We lost some things that can't be replaced, the greatest loss being an antique sewing machine Leah's mother gave her that still worked until today. There were sentimental things that I had given Leah that can and can't be replaced, if that makes sense. But we are safe. There was no structural damage. The animals that were inside all lived, including the cart though they are shaken up as well.

I know I'm shaken, because I am startling easily. Too easily. The last time I was in an enclosed place so filled with gasses that made it hard to breathe was in prison. The burn from hot smoke and pepper spray are far too similar in feeling. I'm jumpy. There's a lot of work and not a little expense ahead to clean everything, replace sheet rock, floor covering, paint, etc.  But it is a hardship, an inconvenience, as my amazing wife said, not a tragedy. Leah said it best when she said God is still on the throne. This will be used to bring us closer to Him. This will not stop or harm the work He is doing in our lives. He is not going to cut me off because I made a mistake. Daddy still loves me. He is still going to make me like Jesus. He wants to get closer, not push me away.

I have my praise music on, which is mostly instrumental guitar, blues and experimental stuff from Stevie Ray and others. My chest hurts. My eyes are still burning. I don't know if I'll be able to  sleep tonight, and I have a lot of work to do....miles to go before I sleep and all that. But life is still good. Life is still worth living. My joy is there, mingled in with the sadness and frustration. If only I could be as quick to forgive myself as Daddy is the frustration would lessen. I'm sober. I feel no need to run from the reality, from the mess or the consequences of simply not thinking about the burning candle before going outside. I have no desire to change the way I feel with anything other than the presence of the Comforter...and spending some time with Leah. And on that note, I'm going to close, turn off the light in the study and go be with her. But I wanted to give God the glory for the gift of joy that remains even as the ash blackens so much. What He has given me, He freely offers you. Be blessed, and may the joy of the gift of Jesus be with you this day, this Christmas and all your days to come.

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