But when Alcoholics Anonymous mentioned rigorous honesty in chapter 5, How It Works, it is in the context of alcoholism and recovery. This is the program that all 12 Step recovery is based on, and the concept of rigorous honesty is the same, regardless of the type of recovery or if the steps are used for discipleship and spiritual growth rather than recovery. Let us also remember that when Christ was told what the greatest commandment is, He didn't say tell the truth or be honest. He said, love God and love others. We live under the law of love. Love is the rule for those who belong to Daddy, who have become His children and surrendered their will and lives to Him.
Now, I am not downplaying the truth. We should live honest lives. But our honesty and truth must be tempered by love. Jesus never lied, but He also didn't great Judas in the Garden of Gethsemane by saying, I knew you were no good and that you would betray me. You're the son of perdition and you'll be dead before Me. All true, but what Jesus said was, Friend, why have you come? He called Him friend. How honest was that, since Judas was there to betray Him? Honest enough, since Jesus didn't lie. He considered Judas a friend despite the betrayal, and He wasn't cruel with the truth. His truth also held His love.
We must be honest with ourselves and others that we have no control over our addictions and habitual sins. We need to be honest about the solution. We need to admit our wrongs without excuses or shifting blame, being honest about our part in them. In all these areas, we must be rigorously honest or recovery will fail. But we also must never neglect love first. We can not allow the concept of rigorous honesty or radical honesty to be an excuse for selfish cruelty and unloving actions. We can not gossip in the name of truth and honesty. There is nothing loving about walking up to someone and telling them how bad they look or in pointing out mistakes or shortcomings in an unloving and non-constructive way. Some truth doesn't need to be said. We should not allow fear of people's opinions to make us compromise truth, but we should always ask ourselves if what we are going to say is going to encourage, edify, strengthen or help the hearer. Is our truth going to bring people closer to Daddy or hurt them?
I'm not advocating lying. There is no such thing as a white lie. Falsehood is falsehood. But truth is pointless without love. We are to be of maximum service to God and others. Part of that means that we put others ahead of ourselves. Love is the law. If the truth can not be spoken in a loving way that helps it should not be spoken. Today, let us remember that honesty really is the best policy, as long as it is from a motive of love and delivered in love. Let us never shrink back from rigorous honesty about ourselves and our recovery. But let us also not use honesty as an excuse to be brutal.
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