I had on sandals when I wrecked my motorcycle in 2012. I didn't hurt my feet at all, not even a scrape, but imagined images of my mangled foot pinned under the bike....well, let's just say I wear boots when I ride now. A couple of months ago I broke a toe when one of my father's goats stepped on it and I jerked my foot back. When the foot moves and the toe doesn't, bad things happen. And most recently while working on a shed for my father-in-law I had a piece of aluminum flay off a chunk of the top of my left foot. I didn't take any special measures to care for it after the initial cleaning of the wound. Even though the strap of my sandals went right across the spot where the metal had cut into my bare foot, I continued to wear my sandals as usual.
Days later, the sore became more painful than it had been at the time of the injury. It hurt so much I could barely stand it. Upon inspection, I saw it was red and inflamed and in the beginning stages of infection. For the next several nights I soaked my foot in hot water and Epsom salts. It wasn't pleasurable, in fact, it was quite painful, but it worked. The infection cleared and the wound healed. Then it began to itch.
Oh how it itched! It drove me nuts. I wanted to scratch it so much and pick at the scab. It took all the self control I had and some grace from God to leave it alone. I have learned from experience that itching wounds are healing and that picking at them causes set backs and prevents healing, at best. Picking at our wounds can actually cause serious infections and problems and while increasing the chances of scaring. So I left it alone, and now it is completely healed.
This is not surprising. We understand how to care for fleshly wounds. But we often have painful flaying of the heart. We may come to realize that the wounding is such that everyone we come in contact with rubs on it, like the strap of my sandal. Still, we may try to ignore or downplay the discomfort and continue with life as usual for as long as we can. But if we ignore the wounds of our heart, they don't simply heal and go away. They become infected with resentment.
Resentment is dangerous, especially when we allow it to remain because someone truly wronged us. It's bad when we had an equal or majority share in the problem that caused the person to retaliate against us and cause our wound. But when what was done was not instigated or deserved by us, when our anger truly seems justified, it can be more dangerous This is because it feels right. It's natural. They hurt me, and I'm supposed to be angry and upset about it. I have a right to be mad. But just because it is a natural and normal reaction doesn't mean it's good.
The infection in my foot was also a perfectly normal and natural reaction to the wound that hadn't been cared for properly. I cleaned it and went on as though that was all that was needed. It wasn't, and the pain of the infection let me know that more had to be done so that I would heal properly. Our pain from emotional and mental wounds is real, but it is there to say something isn't right. We aren't healed. We need this wound cared for. Had I ignored the pain of the growing infection or said simply that it should hurt, it was a bad wound and embraced the pain, the infection would turn into blood poisoning. I could have lost my foot or even my life if I continued to refuse to treat the wound.
Don't embrace the resentment. Take it for what it is, a sign that the wound did not heal right, and get treatment. Don't push it away or ignore it. Allow yourself to feel the hurt. The treatment may hurt too. It may even hurt more than the resentment at first, but as the infection fades and the wound truly heals, the pain finally leaves for good. Take the wound to the Great Physician. Let Him do what is needed, even if it feels like salt in the wound. He always takes us to a place of healing and life. And when it begins to heal, don't pick at it. Don't keep scratching at the scab and replaying the injury mentally. Pray for the grace to leave it alone and to forgive so that we won't reopen the wound, renew the infection and prevent healing.
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