One of the things that caused me to clash with my teachers in junior high was my despising of homework to the extent that I did just enough work to earn a C. If an assignment had 20 questions I would answer 14, leave the rest blank and turn it in. The only person this bothered more than my teachers was my mom. But one of the worst things about eighth grade was when my reading teacher managed to make reading feel like homework and sucked the joy out of even that.
I bring this all up, because even now, at 47 years of age, I dislike the idea of homework. And I don't think that I am the only person who has gone through periods where recovery is approached like homework. We do what we are told, read what we are supposed to read, and begin to learn a lot of good information. We can tell people what they want or need to hear. We can parrot back the nifty sayings and quote recovery books and scriptures. We know what we need to do, what everyone else in our situation needs to do. We can fill in the blanks and sound wise. And, if you are anything like me, and you slip into this mode of going through the spiritual motions like it's an assignment and you're trying to earn a good grade with the bonus reward of recovery, it becomes drudgery. The shine fades quickly. The reason why there are cliches about how horrible it is to have a head full of recovery and a body full of chemicals, is because that is the usual result of studying recovery and amassing knowledge about the problem and the solution.
Whether it's staying clean and sober, or simply walking with God, amassing understanding and filling the head with knowledge is never enough. It is lifeless, and before long, the spirit falters and the recovery dies. We may stay dry, for a time, but unless the waters flow with new life again, the spirit will slip once more into the bondage of self. Because while knowledge is a good thing, it is not enough. The secret to true and lasting freedom and a life worth living is not found in knowing more information. It is founded in knowing the One who frees us. It is not what we know but who.
If reading spiritual things and scriptures becomes homework and our prayers become our daily assignments to check off and grade ourselves on how we did, then going through the motions will be little more than that. An exercise in futility. But when the spiritual steps we take and the reading and prayers we do to supplement them are about relationship, it makes all the difference. I can get lost in the process, filled with wonder about what I am learning and the God I am getting to know. It's not drudgery, it's not mechanical, and it's not even a process. It's a pleasure. It's getting to know Daddy and having fellowship with the Spirit, and becoming more and more grateful as the extent of what Jesus did for me becomes more and more clear.
I hate homework, but I study more today than I ever did in school. Just this morning I spent some time talking with Leah about something new I had learned about Jesus from a passage of scripture I have probably read a hundred times or more. Recovery and discipleship does not have to be drudgery or difficult work. We're not trying to earn a degree here. It can be alive and filled with wonder and discovery. The difference is in the approach. If the goal is knowledge, so that we can escape certain negative results of life, it will never fill us with the joy and passion that comes from falling in love with Daddy and simply wanting to know more about Him, more about how He loves us and more about how to get close to Him and love Him more and more.
If the spiritual life has begun to feel like a burden, cut class and ditch the homework. Play hooky from the legalism of religion and the assignments of programs. Instead spend some time with Daddy, just for the sake of getting to know Him. Ask the Spirit to make you aware of God's love for you and to fill you once more with the wonder of relationship.
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