Self pity can be so miserably comforting and enjoyable. It's also dangerous and as addictive as any drug. Really? Really? As dangerous as a drug that makes people hurt others, lie, steal and worse? Yes. Self pity is dangerous and deadly to our relationship with God. We can not walk with God and wallow in self pity at the same time. It's not possible. So when we sink into the mire of self we separate ourselves from our source of power and life.
What that means is that if we stay in such a place too long, those of us who have been freed from bondage will (not may but will) return to it "like a dog returning to its vomit (Proverbs 26:11)." But I've never been an addict or engaged in any seriously destructive sin, so how is it dangerous for me? Don't kid yourself. Praise God that you haven't been where some have gone, but all sin is destructive. And some of the sins of the "not so bad variety" or more deadly spiritually to us than the ones that lead to jails and living under bridges because of their subtleness and the slow death they bring into our lives without setting of warning alarms in our minds. Only the Holy Spirit can wake us up to the fact that the seemingly "little" sin is actually an ice berg with a dangerous unseen portion below the surface about to take us down. If we stay in self pity, we will turn onto the path of destruction, whether that's a slow path with hidden dangers or the fast path.
But why? First, we stop following Jesus. I'm not talking about losing salvation or anything like that. I'm saying that while we are savoring the meal of self pity we are not dining at the Lord's table. Jesus said if you want to follow Him you must deny self. Indulging in self pity is the very opposite of denying self. You can't do both at the same time. And when we don't walk with Jesus we lose access to the grace that gives us the ability to walk free from sin, not because Jesus withholds it but because we cut ourselves off from it. If you are in a room without windows and the door is shut and you turn off the light switch the room will become pitch black. You will not have the ability to see. The power is still there. There is nothing wrong with the light. But you have cut off access to it by turning the switch to the off position. Self pity is a quick way to turn our spiritual switch to the off position.
Thankfully, turning it back on is as simple as realizing you are in the dark and crying out to God. Turn Your attention back to Him, to His great love for us, to what He wants and service to others, and you will see the light come back on. We don't have the power to light the room, that's the electricity of the Spirit, but our choice of turning to or from relationship with God is the switch that we control. To turn it off is to allow death and destruction access to our life. Every time. To turn it on brings a life worth living that overflows into the lives of those around us.
Father, regardless of the circumstance help me to remember that You love me. Protect me from feelings of despair that lead to self pity. I want to grow closer to You, and I know I can not walk with You and wallow in self simultaneously. I want life in You and not the death that comes in self. Give me Your grace to stay out of self pity today. Amen.
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