Our dogs, and apparently pretty much every dog within earshot of our house, do not like fireworks. They get frightened and agitated. And they bark. They bark and bark, refusing to obey commands to quiet until the popping and explosions cease. This used to bother me a lot. I hated the dogs being stupid and barking every evening from shortly after dark till after midnight during the holiday. This year the Fourth landed on a Monday, which meant the explosions started three nights ago, on the weekend, and will likely be the worst tonight. But they don't bother me, and it doesn't bother me that dogs get upset and bark anymore either.
For me, the agitated baying has become a call to prayer. A couple of years ago, as I became frustrated with the dogs, the Spirit spoke to my spirit and showed me that I was the one being foolish, not the dogs. They can't help the way they feel and react to the noise. It's an unnatural situation for them that they don't understand. The noise puts them in a panic and state of fear that they have little to no control over. Then I felt reminded of all the situations that most people do every day with no problem that can put me in a state of severe agitation and fear, can cause panic attacks because of my past and what I experienced in the years I spent incarcerated. Logically I understand I'm no longer in that place and the situations are different. I understand that I am safe and free, and the nightmare is over. But emotionally I can't stop the feelings once triggered. Others on the outside, who do not have my triggers may even think it no big deal what I am going through, or they may think I just need to realize the situation is different and control my emotions. I can't. It takes grace for me to make it through those times.
Now, the dogs do not have PTSD, and they don't need grace. But there are men and women all over this country this weekend, tonight, and every Fourth, who will not be able to enjoy this holiday with their families. They cannot relax and celebrate and light up the night sky with their children, who cannot fully understand that the noise we associate with festivity fills them with fear and triggers violent reactions as it takes them back to a place of war. Fireworks are not fun for everyone. For some who have spent time away from home to help ensure the freedoms of the rest of us, they are memory triggers of battles they can never forget.
Now, when the dogs freak out over the fireworks I hear a call to pray for those suffering the effects of PTSD from battles. I pray for the soldiers and vets that have learned to hate the holiday that celebrates the very freedom they fought for. The difference in my perspective and reaction has changed everything for me. Now the sound of the dogs no longer frustrates or annoys me. What used to be a sound of irritation now is a sweet sound, calling me to prayer for others. It takes me out of self.
Today, as we celebrate let us remember those for whom this day is not a blessing, those who face triggers sending them to a bad place at every turn. Let us step out of self and our pleasure long enough to pray for them. And let us also look for guidance from the Spirit every day to turn each and every situation that brings us irritation and frustration into a call and a chance to minister in prayer. How wonderful it would be if all the things that used to take us to a place of selfish frustration could be transformed into a sweet call to prayer, a reminder to step out of self and give ourselves to intercede for others. Our lives would be more peaceful and full of contentment, and the lives of others would be blessed as well.
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