I love Star Trek. I have all of TOS (The Original Series) episodes, all 12 of the movies that have been released (and will buy the one that's in the theaters now when it is released on Blu-Ray) and, thanks to Netflix, have access to the rest of the series - Enterprise, Star Trek: The Next Generation, Star Trek: Deep Space Nine, and Star Trek: Voyager. And yes, I have read many of the books based on these shows as well. And yet, somehow I missed a movie. I thought I had seen Star Trek Nemesis (the 10th motion picture film and the fourth and final one featuring the cast of TNG). But I hadn't.
This past Friday, Leah and I honored a date we set for ourselves the first time we saw a preview with the July 22 premiere date for Star Trek Beyond announced. We sat in the theater together and saw the results of JJ Abrams' magic continuing to work in the ST universe. Then, we began re-watching the other ST movies. This was of course my idea, and let me take a quick aside here to say that I am so grateful to have found such a beautiful and wonderful wife who actually likes Star Trek and such things and is humored much more than annoyed by my geekdom - she's even the one who suggested we watch the most recent two movies, the ST reboot by JJ Abrams, Thursday night before we went to see Beyond. I am so blessed! Anyway,.. From Friday evening through last night, we watched the other 10 films, in order starting with Star Trek The Motion Picture with the original cast and ending with Star Trek Nemesis last night.
Very quickly as Nemesis played I realized that I hadn't seen it. I couldn't believe it. I stopped the movie and checked the release date. I saw what happened, but I still found it hard to believe. Nemesis came out in 2002, about a year after I went to prison. It and a lot, seriously a lot, of movies came out during the years between May 2001 and October 2008 when I could not see them. They don't have furloughs for movie night. So I made a list of the movies I really wanted to see when I got out of prison. The Star Wars prequel trilogy. The Lord Of The Rings trilogy. The Christian Bale Batman movies. The Chronicles Of Narnia. I'll stop listing them because there were many, many more, over 100, including Star Trek Nemesis.
True to my plans I began watching movies I missed after my release. The Lord Of The Rings got the honor of the first of these series I binged on, watching all three back to back in one day. The rest though I watched as I could, as I came across them, and had the chance. And at some point in the first few months I lost my list. I tried to remember as best I could, but let's face it, even to a movie buff like me, it's just not really that important. The result is that I still occasionally come across a movie on Netflix that upon seeing the title or reading the description, realize that this is a movie I had on my list that I still haven't seen. That didn't happen with Nemesis. I actually own it. I got it to round out my collection so that I would have them all.
But for some reason I got it in my heard that I had seen it. So I hadn't "re"-watched it. I thought it must be the worst of the films since I couldn't remember it, and, rather than waste my time on it, I kept returning to the favorites of my repeat watching list. That's what is so mind boggling for me now. I remember looking at the title more than once, seeing collectibles based on the film, etc. and thinking I do not remember any of this, and yet I still remained convinced that I must have seen it and just not really cared for it. But last night I watched it with Leah, and received the blessing to get to see it with her for my first time. I actually think it's the second best of the films featuring TNG cast, even though the ending gut punched me.
So what's the point? Why I am rambling on and on about a movie I should have seen about 8 years ago, and really if I hadn't been living like....well a selfish, self centered, junkie, drunk and got myself sent to prison would have seen 14 years ago like the rest of the fans of the franchise? Thinking about this experience last night during my evening reflection gave me a glimpse of an aspect of being open minded that I had not considered before.
I am a fan. It doesn't seem possible that I wouldn't have checked this film off my list quite quickly after my release. Nemesis is the only one of the thirteen Star Trek movies I didn't see at least once in the theater. It simply never occurred to me that I could have missed it, that it could have slipped my mind. So unlike other movies that I couldn't remember watching and figured I hadn't seen yet from my list I just figured it was that it must have sucked or something. It was pride and a closed mind that delayed my enjoyment of Nemesis.
Pride factors in when I realize that no way I could have failed to remember there was a ST film I hadn't seen. So I must've seen it. Since I didn't remember it, it must not have been good. I judged it negatively, without cause, because my pride closed my mind to the other possibility, that I didn't actually see it. And then, because I thought I had the information, I was not open minded to any other possibility. I see now that closed mindedness and pride are a couple and go around hand in hand.
This type of close mindedness can mess us up and deprive us of blessings spiritually as well. That pride can make us think, oh I've been a Christian for [ ] and I understand this issue in and out. There's not anything new to see here. I've read Romans 100 times there's nothing new in it for me. I've been working the steps so long there are no nuances I've missed. That kind of pride can close us off from the Spirit to be able to bless us with new, richer, deeper experiences. There is always more to see, to hear, to understand. The Word is alive and can be as fresh as our spirit remembers that we don't have it all down pat, that there is more to see and learn.
Today, let us be open to see whatever God would have us see and not gloss over anything or any opportunity to observe a spiritual beauty or blessing because we are not paying attention due to a closed mind. Those who have eyes to see and ears to hear, let them see and hear. Let us not miss blessings because we fail to look because we are not open minded to what God wants to give and show us.
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