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Monday, July 25, 2016

Unshackled Moments ~ July 25 ~ Gratitude For The Greatest Gift

Merry Christmas...in July. I am up way too early, so early in fact that the pot of coffee I brewed about midnight last night is still slightly warm.  Oh well, it's almost cooled down to room temperature, and I have some beautiful Christmas music piping over the headphones. It's not the wonder of Christmas that got me up so early, rather my personal version of The Nightmare Before Christmas, but it did make wonder. Why Christmas in July?

Why isn't it Christmas in June, since that's the halfway point? The obvious answer is marketing ploy, which of course is the obvious answer to the idea of Christmas more than once  a year in  the first place. But marketing ploy doesn't really answer the question of why it's not Christmas in June. I decided to do a little browsing research, which, although I found it interesting, I will spare you most of. I realize that many faithful fans of Christmas hate the idea of Christmas in July which, if acknowledged at all, seems to be entirely the sales and commercialism that detract from the real meaning of Christmas when we celebrate in December.

The basic gist of how all this  got started is not marketing but rather as an excuse to have a party. The ad folks didn't get into it until about 50 years later. I guess they were a little slow on the ball in the days before radio, TV and internet. I did like learning that it didn't really become a well known thing until the idea of Christmas in July was used to encourage families to ship packages intended for Christmas presents to soldiers overseas during World War II. And before I go any further, why June and not July? Well, July is mid-summer as December is mid-winter.

This echo of holiday gaining acceptance and popularity due to World War II made me appreciate it even more, especially since it my personal introduction and the start of celebrating Christmas in July came from a time of trauma, separation from family and friends and violence, although not the heroic, honorable kind the men of valor from World War II faced. My introduction  to the echo came in prison.

I say echo, because it just doesn't seem like a real holiday, but it definitely isn't a fake holiday for me. During Advent and the Christmas season we shout JOY TO THE WORLD, THE LORD IS COME!! A SAVIOR HAS BEEN BORN!! And for me, Christmas in July is like hearing an echo of that celebration, reminding me of the hope it brings. Most of the men I served time with avoided Christmas as much as possible. They hated the holiday. Their feelings about it were along the lines of how I feel around Father's Day.  There's no point in subjecting yourself to songs, shows or anything else that will remind you so deeply of everything you are missing, can't have and how your life is so much less than idyllic in ways. I understood those feelings, and as my first Christmas locked up approached, I felt myself becoming more and more miserable and instinctively began to withdraw from anything that reminded me of it as well.

But something stopped me. My mother rocks Christmas. She instilled in me a true joy and love for the holiday that had little to do with gifts and toys and nothing to do with Santa. I had a weird idea that maybe I would feel closer to her and less lonely if I were to celebrate Christmas to the best of my ability, even in prison. So that's what I did. How I did that I will save for another time, but suffice it to say that it included the giving of gifts in the following years.

The problem with trying to give gifts from prison is that there is no money, and you can't exactly go shopping. So I drew gifts. But drawing is a slow process for me, and it took a long time for me to get everything done. So I started early. One year, a couple of weeks or so after I started working on the first drawing of the year for an upcoming Christmas present I was flipping through radio stations and felt surprised to hear a Christmas carol. It was awesome. How fitting! There I was working on a Christmas gift for some family member and the appropriate music accompaniment had been provided. The DJ informed me that it was Christmas in July and the station would be playing Christmas music until midnight.  I didn't change the station until the next day.

A personal tradition began. The next year I waited until July 25 to kick off my gift making, starting early in the day to maximize the time I could listen to the carols. Today I don't have to worry about making gifts or starting 5 months  early, but I still celebrate Christmas in July. I love it. I listen to Christmas music, watch a Christmas movie or two if time permits, and if the finances permit, get a little something for my wonderful wife.

OK, so I'm a Christmas nut. I love the sound of Christmas so much that I listen to the echos with a sense of awe and wonder. It stirs and soothes my soul. But what has any of this to do with recovery? Nothing. Everything.

In most programs of recovery those who have some time under their belts usually celebrate once a year, on the birthday or anniversary of their sobriety date. Although most groups don't celebrate as unit more often than that for those with a year or more, some of us have a personal acknowledgement and or celebration more frequently. Part of the reason for that may have something to do with during the early days of recovery, when it can be such a struggle and fight  to keep going down that rough road, periods of sobriety are often celebrated and acknowledged by groups in  monthly increments. The truth of the matter is that making it two months  took a lot more effort and work than six years.

Control is an illusion, and our lives are unmanageable. That's everyone who tries to live without help. Some may hide it better or function through it a little better than others, but we are all a mess without a spiritual connection and relationship with our Creator. Learning to surrender to the solution takes work though, and it can be good to keep progress and the answer close through frequent celebrating. I remember when I realized that in two short months that felt like eternity I had suddenly achieved my longest stretch of sobriety since I was 13.  I marked the occasion.

It's a little like sappy romantics celebrating a monthly anniversary with their love for the first year. But usually the monthly celebrations fall away as the time goes by.  Leah and I celebrated the day of the month anniversary for a few years, not with anything big but simply by going out to a favorite spot of ours. One of my favorite pictures of us is a self-portrait I took of us cuddling on a pier at the lake during one of those monthly celebrations. Time, money and health, have eliminated those trips, but I still celebrate my love for her every day. For years I celebrated my sobriety with Leah as well. We would go out to eat on the 17th of each month to give thanks and acknowledge the gift of God's grace that gave me a life worth living and made me the kind of husband who can make her smile. We don't do that often anymore either, due to finances mostly, but even if nothing is said, I am still aware on the 17th that another month has gone by and that I am still clean. Praise God!

It's a miracle that I am sober right now. The easiest way to avoid a hangover is not to get drunk. Since I  couldn't manage that part, the second easiest way was to drink enough to still be buzzing when you came to. Without a miracle I'm not sober at 7 AM. It's too easy to grow complacent and begin taking things for granted. We can begin to switch on auto pilot and skim over the things that make our flight safe and possible. Before we realize what's happening we can find ourselves in the midst of a storm because we weren't making course corrections that fit the situation we were in rather than what we expected. We can begin letting our  relationship with God and the things we do to improve and maintain that relationship slide.

Gratitude and celebration can keep that from happening. I'm not saying that we need to celebrate Christmas in July. I'm saying that whether we have addictions or other areas of bondage, and we all have some area of bondage caused by self, the answer is Jesus. The solution is a relationship with our Creator.  We were hopeless and our lives were out of control, then God. Nothing we tried worked well or for long to fill that hole in our lives until we filled it with Him. The relationship with our Heavenly Daddy is made possible by the gift of His Son.

Whatever we may do to keep the spirit of gratitude and awareness of what He's done for us alive and in the forefront is awesome. It is a good thing to give thanks unto the Lord and to sing praises to His name. There is a solution to all that makes this life miserable and hopeless. Hope was born in Bethlehem and now we have been born anew into hope. Thank God for the miracle of His gift to us that came in a manger and led to a cross. So, Merry Christmas, our Savior is born! And while we're at it, Happy Easter, our Redeemer lives!  



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