Unshackled Moments ~ July 21 ~ Don't Argue Away The A

My wife thinks I'm an awesome husband, that I take great care of her and that I spoil her rotten. She expresses this often, and inwardly I often, maybe even usually, disagree. I think  some of my short comings add to her stress and anxiety and make her life harder. I believe that she deserves more and better than me, but I am very grateful that she feels my great love for her and is happy with my performance and qualification as her husband. Still, one of my most common and regular prayers is that God will give me the grace to be as good of a husband as my wife believes me to be.

I mentioned that I inwardly disagree. I don't outwardly argue with her about my qualifications or performance. Why? Am I being dishonest or hiding my flaws and shortcomings? No, she sees me. She knows me well enough to know that I am far from perfect. She sees the same things that I see and her evaluation is an A where mine is a C+ at best. Perhaps her love for me causes her to grade on a very generous curve.

I don't know. What I do know is that I never went to a teacher and said excuse me, but I think you gave me much too high a grade on this paper. No, when I scored higher on a subjective test or assignment than I expected I went with it, happily. I do the same thing with Leah's view of me. That's one argument that I surely don't want to win. I may think she gave me too high a grade, but I'll take it thank you very much, and be grateful as I try to live up to it.

I'm not as good at that in other areas. Sometimes I receive praise for something I have done, good job with that whatever it was someone says, and I cant seem to keep from saying it wasn't such a great job because I fell short here and here and there as I point out where my performance was less than perfect. Why on earth do I express the self criticism that haunts me as a response to praise? That's not an argument I want to win.

I can see it now. Good job Dalyn! 

Thanks, but I'm not sure why you feel that way. I didn't do this part well, and I totally forgot to do/include/whatever.

Oh. I didn't notice that before, but now I see that you're right. You sucked.

No sometimes we should just accept the compliment, the evaluation, the curved grade. Especially when it comes to God. We know we suck. So does God. He knows that our righteousness is as pure as filthy rags and that we have all fallen short and can't do any better than an F+ no matter how hard we try. So He grades on that grace curve. He gives us the grade Jesus made.

He says we are victorious overcomers. Do we really want to convince Him we're worthless failures instead of learning to walk in the grace that enables us to live up to that declaration? He says we have value, that we are special to His heart and worth dying for. Do we really want to change His mind about that?

No God, I'm worthless. You don't want to waste Your time with me.

Oh now I see. You're right. 

What a frightening thought! No, if anyone's mind and attitude and response in that difference of opinions gets changed, I think it would be much preferable for it to be mine rather than His.

I'm ugly and worthless and can't do anything right. There's no hope for me. 

No, you're beautiful and made to uniquely reflect a part of Me and My glory that no one else can. You were bought with a great price because you are worth everything to Me, and with My Spirit guiding and empowering you nothing can stop you from doing all that I have called you to do, which will bring Me even more glory.

Now there's a difference in opinion, in the evaluation of value, in the subjective grade that is significant. Wouldn't it be better for me to agree with God's view than to win that argument? Today, let us not argue with anyone, especially God, over subjective disagreements that we don't want to win anyway. Would we rather lower our esteem in their eyes or raise our evaluations to the A that they are trying to give us?



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