I firmly believe that if a person has no higher power or uses a doorknob for a higher power but begins the journey seeking truth and never stops seeking and pushing for deeper understanding they will eventually find the answer is the Way, the Truth and the Life of God made flesh in the person of Jesus, who promised us that if we seek we will find. If it sounds like I'm preaching rather than sharing my experience, strength and hope, Jesus is the strength and hope that gave purpose to my experience, and I am a preacher. He is alive, and I am alive because of Him.
When I finish writing this I will take my laptop next door to the trailer that is used for storage, have a seat in my recliner, finish my morning readings and daily routine while smoking a custom blend of tobacco from one of my favorite briar pipes. Then I will start on the housework, because in addition to ministry, I am a househusband so that I can contribute to the family serenity, needs and functionality while my wife works outside the home because my felony record makes it difficult to find employment. I am happy to help around the house, and am grateful that I am able to help my wife while having the flexibility to do what God has called me to do. And without even getting into the eclectic shuffle of music I have playing during all of this, I have covered my day before noon and a little of who I am and what I believe.....and I have probably given each and every person reading this at least one reason not to like me, maybe more. I might have even run off some.
And that's just this morning. If you knew everything about my past, my present, my thoughts, my feelings, my hopes and my dreams there would be plenty of things that would make you think, no I can't be friends with someone like that. And I'm sure that the same is true if I knew those things to that depth of you Dear Reader. For that matter, when I think of turning on all the lights on myself and honestly looking in the mirror I can't even be friends with me. Self-reflection is so much scarier than any fun house mirror ever made. There is not a singles person on the planet that doesn't have something about them that someone won't dislike or disagree with. And it doesn't take much if we're looking for an excuse to not like someone, to keep them at a distance or cut them out of our life...or the flip side of that coin to feel like no one would like or accept you if you didn't pretend to be someone you're not, if you put down your mask, to feel like you are unlikable.
#ICantBeUrFriendBecause you're a fan of any other Big 12 Football team than the Texas Tech Red Raiders. Wreck 'Em Tech!!
Okay, that's tongue in cheek. I am a Red Raider, but some of my good friends are Longhorn fans, and I enjoyed the time watching football with my father-in-law as much when the Aggies were still in the Big 12 as much as I do now. But I have truly seen fights that ruined flimsy friendships over sports teams and rivalries. It's crazy, right?
I searched #ICantBeUrFriendBecause in Twitter, and here a a few of the first ten I saw.
#ICantBeUrFriendBecause It's GIF. JIF IS A peanut butter and jraphics are not a thing.
#ICantBeUrFriendBecause I don't speak parseltongue.🚫🐍
#ICantBeUrFriendBecause I don't have time for foolishness & you or anyone wasting my PRECIOUS time #itiswhatitis
#ICantBeUrFriendBecause you write things like UR instead of your
#ICantBeUrFriendBecause...... It's Always Too Late. [Above a meme which reads - The Trick Is Not To Let People Know How Weird You Are Until It's Too Late For Them To Back Out.]
#ICantBeUrFriendBecause ...actually I can please be my friend I don't like being alone
Some of the things I saw are amusing. Some are sad. Some are stupid and ridiculous, but there is truth in the tag. There are far too many reasons to not be someone's friend to be anyone's friend....if that's what we look for. And three of the reasons (not even close to inclusive) for looking for those is the understanding that if we are friends with and associate with the wrong sort we will find ourselves on the reject list as well and the understanding that if we don't separate from the incompatible quickly we run the risk of being hurt when it inevitably goes wrong, and let us not forget, if we are honest, we all know there are reasons we wouldn't be friends with ourselves, so why should we trust anyone to be a good friend to us?
There is a saying in recovery, look for the similarities rather than the differences. So you're a Longhorn fan? That means you like Big 12 College Football too! As easy as it is to find reasons to cut people out of your life and keep them away, there are similarities that can help bridge the gap and foster connection and friendship. Now, I'm not saying that there aren't people who have done damage that need to be avoided, people who refuse to respect boundaries to the point where one must forgive but deny friendship, even contact and communication at times. That happens, but for most people there are similarities that can help us connect, that can enable us to set aside our fears and labels and be of service, that make it possible for them to do the same to and for us. If nothing else is easily seen, then I can assure you there are always at least one similarity between any two people.
#ICanBeURfriend because you are loved and valued by God. Sometimes, most times, if we are spiritually fit, that is enough. It was enough for Jesus, and we are called to follow His example and do what He did, after all. The motivation is to love, to serve and to bless. As someone who has found a spiritual solution that brings freedom and provides a life worth living, I am responsible whenever anyone reaches out for help and searches for a solution to the bondage that chains them to misery and destruction to reach back and share the solution in and with love. And if I need help, I have learned to remove the barriers between me and the people God may choose to help me.
Jesus doesn't vet us. He calls us friend. He ate with the respectable religious leaders. He spoke the same truth in the same way to the Roman ruler of the land as to the outcast at the well. He hung out with lepers, losers or outcasts. All could come if they chose to respond with yes to His call to come. All who chose to say no were sadly let go. He didn't let what anyone might think of Him helping and loving anyone lessen His compassion for anyone. Status, position, and personality had nothing to do with the love of Christ for us. You can come to God and find a faithful friend and an every present help in times of need. And you can learn to be a friend and help others find what you have found, even among those who are as different as well, a perfect and Holy God and you.
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