I admire him because he was a writer who was honest enough for us to see his humanity. He didn't pretend to be fine when he wasn't. He didn't wear a mask of self righteousness and claim innocence when guilt covered him. He poured out his heart to God, and he allowed us to see it. Some of the most beautiful words of praise and hope came from his quill, and his poetry makes the Psalms a wonderful read. But David is also the first recorded blues man, and I love the blues. A large portion of Psalms are songs of lament. David had hurt, discouragement, disappointment and fear, and he refused to hide them or pretend they weren't real or an issue.
David hid in the dark caves and asked God how long his life would suck. He would remind God that he was only trying to do what he was called to do and all this opposition and hardship made it quite difficult. And then somehow as he journaled, wrote his songs, poured out his heart and soul and pain to the God who pulled him from the sheep to the throne, he always wrote his way back to a place of praise for the God he found he still trusted. He committed sexual sin that according to the law he should have died for, and then he committed murder to cover it up. Broken and repentant, he would later accept full responsibility and seek God for forgiveness and the strength to continue on serving despite his past. And it is for these reasons, a heart quick to praise and slow to doubt even in the face of fear and misery, a contrite and repentant spirit that accepted the truth of his sin without shifting blame and yet believed in the mercy and forgiveness of God to cover that sin, that David was called a man after God's own heart. That's why I admire him. That's the way I want to be like him. I don't want to be a king. I want to be a man who can be called a man after God's own heart, despite the very serious crimes and mistakes of my past.
This morning I flipped over to the Book of I Chronicles and read the last recorded words of this screw up, poet king. Here an old man, who had done what he was called to do, addressed the people and let his dream die without bitterness or resentment. Sometimes dreams die. Sometimes they die hard. Sometimes we kill them. Sometimes life strangles and starves them to death. Sometimes God chooses to do something else in and with our life and our dreams become a part of the self that goes onto the altar when we give all of us, the good and the bad and the dream, to Him to do with what He wills, even if what He wills is to crush it for His glory. Sometimes dreams die slowly, and with every one of the sometimes comes the truth that when a dream dies a piece of us dies with it. It hurts. It is a loss that can be hard to take and it can be a struggle to go from that place of mourning and ashes to praising the God who either allowed the dream to die or even killed it Himself.
King David had the heart of a true worshiper. He loved God, and he loved to praise and worship God. His worship writing and career didn't begin with his rise from the fields, but while he was alone in those fields, writing songs of praise and watching over the sheep. He failed miserably at times, but he tried to live a life of worship and obedience to God. He did what God called him to do in the most Godly way possible, and God used him to save the chosen nation of Israel from the Philistines. He became a warrior king because that's where God called him to serve, but his heart was the heart of a poet worshiper. His dream was to build a beautiful and permanent temple to replace the transient tent and give God a glorious place for the people to worship Him in. He gathered all the materials and made the plans. This temple would be one of the great wonders of the world. This would be the ultimate architectural poem of praise for the glory of God, and it was all he wanted to do before he died. This was the dream in the heart of the man known as a man after God's own heart. It was a good dream. And God said no.
God didn't just say no, he said that because David had done what God required of him, he had disqualified himself. You did what I told you to do and are therefore the wrong person to have this dream. That's what God told him. Are you waiting for me to say, just kidding, and show how obeying God and living a life of service to the calling on his life didn't cost David that dream? It's not going to happen.
Then King David rose to his feet and said, “Hear me, my brethren and my people: I had it in my heart to build a house of rest for the ark of the covenant of the Lord, and for the footstool of our God, and had made preparations to build it. But God said to me, ‘You shall not build a house for My name, because you have been a man of war and have shed blood.’
- I Chronicles 28:3-4
See? I wasn't kidding. God called David to be king and to defend Israel from her enemies. David said whatever You want me to do, O Lord, I will do, with Your help. He stood before Goliath with a sling and started down the warrior road that caused the worshiper in him to be less what he was known for, despite it being his truest self. Then the dream of that worshiper died because the warrior obeyed. How hard that must have been. I look to this example, because this is one where God said no, when God took David's dream, after he had made the plans and preparations and got the provisions, after he had gotten so close, and said no. That has to be the most difficult kind of dream to see die. That to me is a harder dream to let go of with a right spirit than one where we know it's our fault.
I have dreams that died because of my choices and actions while I was living outside God's will as a slave to my addictions. I killed more than one passion and dream. And none of those hurt or are as difficult a weight to bear for me as one dream where God said no. But no dream is easily dismissed with a joyful heart of praise, no matter whose fault it is that it failed to come true. So I look to David and try to follow his steps in this dance from pain to praise. Turning the page to I Chronicles 29 David's prayer of response to God killing the desire of his heart is recorded. You can read it in 1 Chronicles 29:10-20. It's a great example for all of us who have had a dream or dreams die, for whatever reason.
David's response to the dying dream was to pray. He opened to the prayer with praise, acknowledging God's greatness and sovereignty. When we give ourselves completely to him and make our lives a living sacrifice we give up our right to resent not getting what we want. David gave thanks to God for being called to serve Him, for being a chosen people, even though there really wasn't anything special about the Israelites or David. They were small and ordinary, except God chose them and used them for His glory. David gave thanks for that, even though it was that very calling that caused his disqualification to have the dream. David recognized that the worst day in service to His Creator and for God's glory was better than the fulfillment of any personal dream.
Then he gave it all to God again. Here Lord is the provision I made for my dream, it's Yours. I give you all of me, the good and the bad and all of my dreams and plans and provisions to do with what You will, even though I know what You will is different than what I was wanting. It is Jesus saying is there another way? OK, Your will not mine be done, Daddy. It is the place of picking up our cross and following Him that we must get to before the bitterness of dying dreams can fade. David then turned his prayer toward the people. He prayed for others, and got out of self. He prayed for the people that God called him to serve and then for the one who would get to have his dream. That's right. David prayed for Solomon, the son who would inherit David's dream. Instead of resenting the one who had what he could not have, David prayed a blessing over the man who would take his place and have what he God denied him. Finally, after praising God and giving everything to Him once more, and then praying for others, letting go of self, David called for those who could hear him, those under his realm, those within his sphere of influence to follow his lead and bless, praise and worship the God who is worthy to be praised.
Praising God from the graveside of your greatest dream is a difficult thing to do at times, but it is the path to recovering from such a heavy loss. Mourn. But never take your eyes off the one who can turn our mourning into dancing, who can bring beauty from ashes of burnt up dreams and joy from sorrow. Give God the right to say no, not just to our will but our dreams, and despite how it may feel, we will see God do more with our life than what we would have had if all our dreams came true. Our life can be more satisfying, more fulfilling, more worth living with every dream we ever had dying a slow and painful death in sacrifice to God's plans, than it could ever be outside His will, even if every dream came true. That doesn't mean it may not still hurt, that the hole in our heart isn't real. But that pain is not the end. The Holy Spirit is called the Comforter. Let Him be the Comfort you need for the pain of dreams that don't come true.
Unshackled Life Ministries is grateful for every person that reads the daily Unshackled Moments and or listens to the messages. I want to thank those who have clicked "like" on something that blessed or ministered to them. It is encouraging to know that God is using this ministry to help and bless others. Please remember that if God used something from this ministry to help, encourage or bless you, it could also bless someone else. Would you help get the devotions to more people by sharing the Moments and messages that you read or listen to? Hitting the share button instead of or in addition to the like button will help us reach more people with the good news of freedom and the encouragement to live an Unshackled Life. Thank you and God bless.
If you would like to have notifications of new Unshackled Moments and messages sent to you via email, send an email to dalynwoodard@mail.com requesting to be added to the list. You can also follow Dalyn Woodard (@Dalynsmsings) on Twitter or Unshackled Life Ministries on Facebook.
No comments:
Post a Comment