But those shortcomings we see in ourselves and our lives aren't real, because they are the inability to be something that isn't real. The all sufficient person with enough outside of God to satisfy, the person who can do whatever they want and actually be happy and other such nonsense dreams don't exist in real life any more than Superman. Those shortcomings should never get in the way of our willingness to let God use us. In fact, those very shortcomings may be the brightest point in one of God's stories. There are some things that we may imagine doing that are beyond the scope of anyone.
When I was young I imagined being able climb walls like Spider-Man. I saw someone doing what I couldn't (OK, it was television illusion, but I still saw it) and wished that I could. Peter saw Jesus walking on water and stepped out of the boat to join Him. But Peter couldn't walk on water any more than I could climb walls. The difference between the two situations, besides Jesus being real and actually walking on water and Spider-Man being a figment of Stan Lee's imagination of course, is that Peter was just trying to hang out with Jesus, to be closer to Him, to be able to do what He was doing, where as I wanted to climb walls because I thought it would be fun and put the light on me. The main difference is the focus.
I may be being a little silly, but what I am saying is that if there were a reason for it that would give God glory and further His purpose, God could enable me to scale the Empire State Building as easy as walking up a flight of stairs, just as He enabled Peter to walk on the waves. Of course, if I then got distracted from Him, it would hurt more when I started to sink. God has done some flashy miracles, and those are neat. They get most of the attention and understandable so. But they are not His favorite ways to show His glory. He's actually a much more subtle artist than that.
His desire is for us to seek Him and find Him, to see He deserves all glory and praise and give Him that glory without Him having to make it so obvious that those who would never look can see it. He loves to use us beyond our means and abilities and give us a call that is just as impossible as Peter walking on water or me walking up walls. Which is really more difficult, to take water that He made and change its properties enough to allow matter that would normally sink to remain on its surface or to take a selfish self centered angry jerk who cared for no one before Himself and make a servant who sets aside his way and wants for God's without overriding his will? I seriously believe that causing me to live for anything other than hedonistic pleasures of the moment caring nothing about the price to pay tomorrow, and making me someone who can love and care for someone else, and transforming me into a man who doesn't have to drink and drug to escape or enhance reality is a miracle on par with the parting of the Red Sea. I could no more do those things myself than I could shoot webbing from my wrist.
The work God has done and is doing is more subtle than a man swinging down the avenue above the traffic, especially for those who didn't know the man I used to be. Others have to be looking for something different in who and how I am from the average selfishness surrounding us in order to see it. And while God has completely and permanently changed the spirit within me, I have to continue to surrender, submit and sacrifice my will for His for that new nature to manifest, just as Peter had to trust Jesus and focus on Him to stay above the waves. And I have to willingly point the glory where it is due in order for God to get it. People can look at over six years clean and sober and give me credit. People can praise my ability to do things that God has asked me to do. But only if they aren't looking very closely at how awesome it is that a deficient and unqualified man such as myself is able to do anything like that and only if I don't quickly say, wait, no, it isn't me, it's Jesus. And God likes it that way. He likes to get the glory because we're really looking. He likes to get the glory because the people His is working through are redirecting the praise to Him that it would be so tempting to take for themselves. He loves to choose the subtle miracle of grace to do what we could never do on our own over the sun going backwards in the sky kind of miracles.
So today let us not look at our shortcomings and think I can never be or do this or that in life. Let us remember that in our weaknesses He is shown to be strong and it might very well be in the areas of our lives that we think we are the least able to perform or the areas that show the worst about us that He is most able to use us to help others and display His love, power and glory. Let us not get in the way. Let us be quick to give Him the glory. And let us not hold back anything, not even those shameful, weak, ineffective parts of us, from His service. When we surrender without holding back, there is no limit to what He can and will do in and through our lives, and I promise, the miracle will be as spiritually transformative as a radioactive spider bite. The person He makes us is always able to do things as impossible to who were are without Him and as different from the people we were as the difference between Peter before and after, both the boat and the bite. We can't walk on walls or spin webs. We can't walk on water. We can't walk with God and be perfect as our Father in Heaven is perfect. But with the transforming power and grace of God we can do what we could never do before. How cool is that?
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