Unshackled Moments ~ September 18, 2018 ~ The Scary Hallway

When I was a child, we lived in a house that most likely was not nearly as big as I remember it. But I remember it as being huge, with a long hall down the middle. Now the hallway really was long, at least it was long enough to practice shooting the BB gun and to play with the plastic bowling set in. Actually, the hallway was great for a lot of things, except at night. At night it scared me. It was long and dark and there were shadows, and my bedroom at the very end opposite the bathroom all the way down on the other end.

At night this  could lead to some not fun times, especially if I had been using the street light to stay up and read my Mom's Nancy Drew or Hardy Boys mysteries. Yes, they sometimes scared me. I was in elementary school. Don't judge. Anyway, to continue, on nights when I had done something to increase my anxiety level or had had a bad dream, or for whatever reason felt afraid, then that hallway became my nemesis.

I would lay there in bed until the pain of needing to go to the bathroom drove me from the top bunk and into the dreaded hall. That hall was as scary as The Shinning hallway any night. And there were demons lurking in the shadows and killers and snakes and spiders. And sometimes the spiders were real. The point is that I was afraid, and the more I tried to stare into the dark until I could see, the more I saw movement and my imagination birthed more and more to fear. I learned that the only way that I could make myself go down that hall in times like that was to stop staring into the dark.

Instead of trying to see what was in the dark, I focused on the light from the bathroom at the other end and walked. OK, sometimes I ran it. It didn't make me less afraid. I feared something would reach out of the shadows and grab me at any second. But as long as I focused on the light I could make myself move forward. On the return trip I used the same technique, only with the street light. I don't remember the fear ever leaving until I was in the bathroom and then back in my room, but I was able to make the trip.

Forty years later I find I still have to do the same thing at times. It may work for some to face heir fears, but it usually only makes it worse for me.When the hall of life gets scary, the more I try to stare down my fear, the more I see movement and the more my imagination goes wild with all the ways things could go bad. What works for me now is what worked for me then. Looking at nothing but the light instead of the shadows I'm walking through. Sometimes I am still afraid, but I can move. I can do what I need to do despite the fear.

Jesus  said, "I am the light of the world," and so He is. He is the One that I remember is with me as I walk through the valley of shadows. No matter the situation, if I turn my attention from what is scaring me to the Light, I am able to go on. Sometimes I get through the situation and feel silly. In the bright light I see there was nothing to fear. Other times I get to the other side and feel so grateful He was with me and that I could only see the shadows, because if I had known how bad the trip would be I would never have had the courage to try.

Whether the danger is real or imagined, whether the trip is harmless or devastating, we can trust that we will make it through if we keep moving in the direction of the Light. Don't face your fear. Don't run from it either. Don't pretend it doesn't exist. Just keep your eyes on Jesus and run to Him.

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