If you had met Thomas in 2010, you would have met an amazing man. Nearly 50 years old, he didn't have much. He had a hard job that he never complained about and only expressed gratitude for being able to work. He had a car that barely ran, thanks to his hard work, that wasn't running when it was given to him. Everything else he owned would fit in that same car. He had an apartment in an apartment complex that many people would be scared to visit, much less live in, and he loved that he had it right up to the moment he died there. And up to the moment of his death in October of 2010, Thomas had joy. That joy wasn't part of his life or who he was when I first met him. But within a few weeks, you would rarely see Thomas without a smile that reached his eyes. Most of the time when the smile faded what replaced it was compassion as he reached out to someone who was hurting and in need. And while compassion colored his face, joy still sparkled in his eyes as he swore life could be worth living.
When I first met Thomas, he was a homeless and hopeless drunk and addict. And to the world he may have seemed even worse than that and may have appeared to not rise much higher. After all, he never accumulated much. He never had a nice place to live in a nice and safe part of town. He never drove to that nice place to live that he didn't have in a nice car. The majority of his friends were drunks and junkies. But if you spent more than five minutes with the man, you saw what I believe many saw in Jesus, an undeniable joy more real than a smile and a heart so full of compassion he wept for the hurts of others as quickly and as easily as he laughed.
Thomas shared the gospel or good news of hope that a beautiful life worth living can be raised from the ashes of destruction and despair just by walking down the street. It was his joy that caught the eye and sold his message. Today I have a life worth living and a hope that I try to give to others. It really is good news. We can be free, and we can be friends of God. What I long for is the joy that Thomas had that makes that gospel impossible to ignore. The promise of Advent is that because of Jesus that joy can be ours. Looking at the Gospel of St. Thomas, I know the key to unlocking that joy is found in gratitude and relationship with God, a relationship that is possible because of the two sided coin with Christmas on one side and Easter on the other.
The Legacy of Thomas by Dalyn Woodard
Monday evening, around 36 hours from the time of my writing this, an honest, extremely hard-working, dependable, kind and gentle man, who lived his life to help anyone and everyone he could, regardless of race, sex, orientation or social standing became a victim of a senseless act of violence. A true handyman and jack-of-all trades he could help repair almost anything from carpentry problems and auto repair to broken lives died all too soon at age 49.
At the same time the this amazing and inspiring man was being killed, the final chapter of the life of a viciously violent drug addict and alcoholic who had spent decades lying, cheating, stealing, and yes, even killing came to an end. This horrible drug addict's autobiography included more time behind bars than most Americans spend years in school, a track record of hurting and deceiving everyone who came in contact with him for more than a brief period. He was a man who lived only for himself, to hell with everyone else, and spent his life doing drugs, consuming alcohol, and doing whatever was necessary to keep a supply of both in his life.
The selfish addict was someone you would've done well to avoid and your life probably turned out better if you never met him. The handyman was someone I wish everyone could have met because everyone who did meet him came away bettered by the experience. I knew them both, and the thing that is so hard to believe, but is nevertheless true, is that they were the same man.
The handyman I wrote of was all the more beautiful because he was the butterfly that resulted from the life and transformation of an addict caterpillar. As a child I found it hard to believe that the beautiful butterflies I loved to watch so much developed from ugly old caterpillars. If you could not see the process how would you ever believe that a creature crawling around in the dirt could become something so completely and unrecognizably different to fly from flower to flower bringing joy to those who saw it? The truth of this transformation and the process that causes it has always been one of my favorite miracles of nature. It is the only way I can come up with to accurately describe the awesome, miraculous and wonderful transformation of Thomas Grimes.
The Thomas so many mourn today and whose death shocked his neighbors, because he was not someone you would expect to see involved in anything ugly and violent, like his death was, was a completely different man and looked nothing like the addict who wrapped himself in the cocoon of a twelve-step program and let God grow him wings and paint him with all the beautiful colors of the angels. His life and the process of transformation will always be one of the most inspiring and beautiful miracles I have ever witnessed.
I knew Thomas well. I had been in the same prison white he wore for so long and knew that world. I saw him crawl into the rooms of recovery ready to die but not wanting to, hurting, sweating and scared. The caterpillar had existed for far too long, and the soul of Thomas ached for something else, anything else. Give me recovery or give me death, he once told me, twisting the famous revolutionary quote to fit himself. He then proceeded to launch a revolution against himself. He wrapped himself in the cocoon of the program, but this was no hibernation. Thomas dove into action, working the steps more quickly and thoroughly than I believed possible.
I will always remain grateful for the gift God gave me in allowing me to witness the transformation of Thomas. I saw him admit his powerlessness, and I could see the truth begin to shine in his eyes as he went from doubter to a man who believed. I knelt with him as he surrendered the man he was and made a decision to let God make him the man he had been created to be. I heard the anxiousness in his voice after he finished an inventory so honest and thorough that it made him physically ill. I listened to his inventory and cried as he glowed and changed before my eyes and we burned his former life in a parking lot. As his inventory went up in smoke, the Thomas butterfly began emerging from his cocoon, and the man so many love and mourn today was born. I do not know why God chose me to be the witness of that precious moment, but I will always be grateful for it.
Thomas knew the freedom he sought for so long. The obsession to drink and drug stayed with the cocoon and there was almost no trace of it in the butterfly that flew from that moment. But Thomas didn't stop to rest. With true gratitude and a determination not to ever revert back to his former state, Thomas became willing to have God change everything about him and remove all the character traits of the caterpillar. He prayed for the Master Artist to erase the markings of who he had been and paint him with completely new and beautiful characteristics.
Thomas looked back over his previous incarnation and honestly saw and accepted the damage he had done as he chewed his way through the lives of others. He set out to make it right, planting new life from seeds of sorrow. I saw the constant self-examination of his new wings and how quickly he did what he needed to do to clean them off if he somehow sullied them. He stayed as close to his Creator as he could, listening to the soft and gentle wind that guided him from one life to the next so that God could use him to pollinate and bless the lives of others. As a result of the action he took and his surrendering to the molding, shaping, and coloring of the Master Artist, Thomas became a new creation. He transformed into a man few who knew the former caterpillar would recognize or be able to believe had been the same creature. He spent the rest of his life flying and telling all the caterpillars he encountered that would listen that they were never meant to crawl on their bellies forever. He said with his actions more than his words that it was ok to look up from the dirt and decay, that they too could be transformed as he was and fly, beautiful and free.
I could not exaggerate this transformation. I could not use an analogy poetic enough to capture the true wonder and beauty of what occurred in Thomas' life. Thomas Grimes recovered from a hopeless state of mind and body. He awoke from the state of being spiritually dead to living a life that revealed the truth and power of God to all who saw him. He found the solution and shared it. He died clean and sober and let it be known that we can all do the same if we want.
Today I am hurting. I cry as I write the truth about the transformation I can not do justice to in words that a man I knew as friend and brother experienced. There is a hole in my life today because I know there's one less butterfly in this world. But I do not hurt for Thomas. His metamorphosis is now complete, and he flies in the eternal garden of his Creator. I miss him, but more than that I wish to honor him. I meditated on the question of what I could do or say that would please my friend. This morning I imagined Thomas saying to me "help make more butterflies," share the story of his life and mine so that others may know there is a solution, there is hope, and most of all, I imagined him saying to me, "keep flying, keep flying and allow the Master Artist to paint my wings, never return to the ground to try to be the caterpillar again, live the legacy of Thomas."
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