Unshackled Moments ~ January 14 ~ Change Filters

Late yesterday morning, I sent a question to my father by text. He never responded. I didn't want to bother him, so I didn't resend it. I thought that he would answer when he had opportunity. But the day turned to evening, and I had still heard nothing from my father. When I arrived at church last night, I had mostly let the question go, as it seemed a bit late to worry about it. I had wanted to ask him something about what I planned to preach on. Even though I had my sermon prepared, I decided to go ahead and ask him my question during the first worship song.

The question isn't important at this point. My father never received my text. He checked his phone to try and figure out what time he had gotten it and what he might have been doing that caused him to miss it.  He never received it. I checked my phone again a few minutes later, and my phone showed the message sent. One of our phones messed up, probably mine, or something in the signal between caused the text to be lost in space. My father couldn't answer a question he never knew had been asked.

What I realized later was that I was OK. I told my wife at one point in the afternoon that I was put out with him for not responding, but the truth is that I really wasn't. I just felt like I should be. I was trying to prepare to preach and his lack of response made me have to trust that God wouldn't have put the subject on my heart had He not desired for me to share it. I knew the sermon would be OK without the answer to the question. I knew that my father cares for me, loves me and desires to help me whenever and however he can. I didn't feel hurt or slighted. So later, when I learned the text failed somehow, I found the entire situation funny.

There was a time however when the failure to elicit a response would have sent me off the rails and into the crazy zone. I would have spiraled down into a pit of self-pity, despair and rejection. My father was always too busy to be there for me. Everything and everyone else is more important than me. I don't matter.  He hates me would eventually come as a conclusion to the self-centered foolishness, even though I can think of things from every period of my life when my father proved there was nothing other than His relationship with God that he wouldn't sacrifice for me and his family. Something happened, and I had to wait six hours for a response from him, o woe is me.

Sounds ridiculous doesn't it, especially after hearing that the text failed and he never got the message. So what changed that caused my reaction to be so different from the foolishness of the past? Two things have changed. My selfishness and self-centeredness are not quite as horribly constant as they once were. So now I don't immediately take every negative thing as a personal rejection or attack. Secondly, I am secure in my father's love. I know now what I should have known then, so I don't see things not happening as quickly as I would like as evidence that I don't matter. Really, all that has changed is  my perspective.

I share this because sometimes we get this way with our Heavenly Daddy. We are so spoiled with instant messaging, microwave popcorn and pay at the pump that any request or need that isn't met in 30 seconds or less feels like a huge and horrible wait. Our idea of patience is waiting three hours for the rain to fall and the drought to end. We would die at the the  thought of waiting three years as Elijah did.  We see the lack of a quick response from God as signs and evidence that He doesn't really want to talk to us, fellowship with us, love us, care about us, provide for us, etc. It is self-centered, spoiled foolishness. And it makes any waiting period miserable. But when we get out of our selves and trust in the security that our Father loves us, regardless of if it feels like He's ignoring us or too busy for us or whatever lie our self-pity tells us, then the wait is no big thing. We wait, and our patience somehow strengthens our faith, and we are all the more able to give God glory when the drought does end. We are able to maintain a heart full of gratitude and joy, even when we are not instantly getting our way. It is a much better way to be. Trust that He loves you and filter everything through that truth, rather than through the lie that God doesn't care. It will change how it feels to wait for an answer.

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