Though I speak with the tongues of men and of angels, but have not love, I have become sounding brass or a clanging cymbal. And though I have the gift of prophecy, and understand all mysteries and all knowledge, and though I have all faith, so that I could remove mountains, but have not love, I am nothing. And though I bestow all my goods to feed the poor, and though I give my body to be burned, but have not love, it profits me nothing.
- I Corinthians 13:1-3
Selfishness and self centeredness is at the heart of our problems and our inability to serve God and walk with God. Love is the antidote to the curse caused by self and serving self. It was love that caused the Father to make a way where there was no way and gave Him desire for relationship with us. I can't; He can; I'll let Him would mean nothing if He didn't want to or wouldn't. Love caused the Son to give His life in our place and to bridge the gap between us and God. Love caused the Spiritto come indwell the filth of our lives and do the work to clean and renovate His new home. And part of the proof that we are in a constant battle, even as children of God, to overcome self and the curse of self is our lack of ability to love God just because He's God, purely and completely.
It has been said of all of us that we only love Him because He first loved us. We must be given a gift of faith and grace to even be able to return His love to Him. And at first our love, love for God and love for others, is still self focused and self centered. Hopefully after the infancy stage of our new spiritual life we begin to shed the selfishness and love more purely, for love's sake.
At the start, and still far too often, I submit my life to God and serve Him not because I love Him so much but because the alternative is misery, heartache, destruction, bondage and death. I learned that doing right actually feels better longer and more consistently than doing wrong, which makes it easier and more appealing for me to ask for God's grace to do right. When I am of service to someone else and help another, even when no one but me and God knows, it makes me feel good. So I seek to be of service. If it didn't make me feel good it would be much harder to do.
I could go on. For every loving thing that I do, there is a taint of selfish gain and motivation. And it is a loving God who designed it so that serving Him and loving would also bring joy. Still, the more deeper my relationship with my Creator grows, the more I love Him purely and without selfish motive. That said, the motivation for living love and loving God and others is still far more centered around the blessings I receive and the joy I feel from doing so than from pure submission and love for God. This is one reason even my goodness is not good, because it comes from a desire to protect and increase me, even when it also benefits another.
I pray that it becomes our desire, mine and yours, to love God and others more purely with less and less concern of if doing so makes things easier or better for us. May our service be more and more fueled by and filled with love than selfishness. Lord, help me to know you more, to love you more and give me the grace to purify my motives for serving you today, tomorrow and for the rest of my life. Amen.
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