Unshackled Life Ministries: May 2016

Tuesday, May 31, 2016

Unshackled Moments ~ May 31 ~ Every Day Calling

We are called of God, and He has a purpose for our lives. Seriously, you have a calling and a purpose. So do I. Some callings vary and are unique, but one part of the calling, the very first and most important part that we all have in common is the call to relationship. The very fist calling to each of us from God is the call to have relationship with Him. Second only to that first spiritual calling is to give ourselves completely to Him in service for His glory, using the gifts He gave us to help others and further His plan.

And that may be where I lose a few people. That second calling is a little scary sometimes, and it can hurt. There's a reason it's called making a living sacrifice of ourselves. Sacrifices cost us or they're worthless. In addition to the discomfort of having to die to self in order to completely surrender to God comes the overwhelming task of using our gifts in complete and total service to our Heavenly Daddy to do what He calls us to do. Surely I'm not saying we are called to some spiritual task to further the plan of God? That's exactly what I'm saying.

It's true that we are not all called to the same thing, and not all are called to be preachers, but we are all called. Some may be called to work as a janitor in an office, but if that is done in the right heart, an opportunity will come of it to do something miraculous and amazing for God. The homemaker can make more than beds with the right motivation and spirit to answering the call to make a home for the Lord. The most secular job or task can be a very spiritual opportunity, no matter how ordinary or mundane or even seemingly unimportant.

The difference is not in making it more spiritual than it is or making it seem more important or glamorous. What makes it an opportunity is being in the place where God needs you to be, doing what He needs you to do. In obedience is opportunity. In doing and going through the mundane and every day with our mind and heart seeking to connect with Him we find spirituality and blessing and chances to be of service to God and others in everything we do.

It's not just the lofty prayers, meetings and callings to ministry of saintly people that are spiritual fields of harvest, but the everyday moments of humble living before God, seeking Him, of the most wretched of forgiven sinners like me. Embrace today with a grateful heart for the presence of God during the ordinary hours and for the truth that the high calling of Christ can be found in the secular and mundane if we are going where He says go, doing what He says do, when He says do it, and doing it all in and with love for Him and those we encounter.

Unshackled Life Ministries is grateful for every person that reads the daily Unshackled Moments and or listens to the messages. I want to thank those who have clicked "like" on something that blessed or ministered to them. It is encouraging to know that God is using this ministry to help and bless others. Please remember that if God used something from this ministry to help, encourage or bless you, it could also bless someone else. Would you help get the devotions to more people by sharing the Moments and messages that you read or listen to? Hitting the share button instead of or in addition to the like button will help us reach more people with the good news of freedom and the encouragement to live an Unshackled Life. Thank you and God bless.

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Monday, May 30, 2016

Unshackled Moments ~ May 30 ~ Honoring Sacrifice

Greater love has no one than this, than to lay down one’s life for his friends.

- John 15:13

Today, as many Americans enjoy their day off, barbecues and gatherings, there are so many whose reaction to this day is bittersweet at best. There are families and soldiers (both active and vet) who can not escape the haunting loss of men who came home in a flag covered box, if at all. This is not thank a vet day, that's later in the year, and it is not national barbecue day. Memorial Day is a time to remember and honor the sacrifice of those who died in order to protect and maintain our rights to be free.

We honor them by following their example. Now, most of us, even those who are soldiers, will never be called upon to make the ultimate sacrifice and die for someone else. But we can lay down our lives for our family, fiends and neighbors. We honor the deaths of so many who fought for our freedom today, and hopefully we respect them every day. And we remember the One man, Jesus, who came and died once, for all, so that we all, every nation and every tongue, can be free and find relationship with our Heavenly Daddy. But do we remember that Jesus gave His life for others long before the cross, years before that final gift?

Sacrifice is more than that final act of dying physically so someone else may live. Sacrifice also means letting our wants, rights privileges, comforts and resources die or be depleted in order to help someone else. We sacrifice and give of ourselves that the needs of others can be met. What you need becomes more important than my life. Jesus calls us to daily follow Him by giving more attention, care, love, time, and help to others than we give to ourselves.

This dying to self may seem small and insignificant compared with the final sacrifice fallen soldiers gave, but it is important nevertheless. This daily life of service is how we care for one another and lay down our lives for one another, helping each other. It is a form of love and the same spirit that called so many to serve and lay down their lives for you and me. Living a life of freedom and service honors those who fought to give you the right to do that. It also honors the One who died to make eternal freedom possible, who gave us the ability to live a life worth living.

Today, enjoy time with family or whatever you do. But let us remember to mourn with those who mourn and comfort those in need of comfort. Let us pray for the families of those who were lost and for those who served with them, those remembering the fallen falling and carry those images and survivor's guilt wherever they go. Let us remember that to be a Christian means our life is not our own and to be quick to lay it down for the benefit of others in the small ways, in each and every day, as well as the bog ways.

Sunday, May 29, 2016

Foundation Of Christian Character

Dalyn Woodard continues the study of Romans with a look at verse 9 of chapter 12 and how the principle of our offering our lives to God and being of service to Him with our gifts leads to three basic characteristics found within believers. They are simple but there's a lot to them. The message, "Foundation Of Christian Character" is about an hour and 44 minutes long and was recorded at Nacogdoches Christian Fellowship on Wednesday, May 25, 2016. It's our prayer that you are blessed and ministered to as you listen. May God bless and keep you.

Saturday, May 28, 2016

Unshackled Moments ~ May 29 ~ The Chamionship

You can't control when you score a goal, but you can control your work ethic.

- Patric Hörnqvist; Pittsburgh Penguins (#72 / Right wing)

Tomorrow, in addition to being Memorial Day, is the start of the Stanley Cup final series. Whoever wins four games out of the next seven will be the champions of the NHL for the 2015-2016 season. This year, the Pittsburgh Penguins will be facing off against the San Jose Sharks, and for the record, since I have been a Penguins fan since the 80's, I will most assuredly be rooting for them.

But also for the record, I truly believe that both teams deserve to be there. They both have demonstrated the above quote. They worked. Hard. The all have talent, but they also work to improve their skills and learn how to better utilize the gifts that they have been given. Both teams have won games that they should have won. They have both won games that they should have lost. And they have both lost games without being too discouraged and defeated to fight and try again.

We all have gifts given to us by God, talents and skills to be used in service and to help others and to bring Him glory. But those gifts are just the starting point. We need to invest our time, energy and effort into them in order to improve our ability to use them, to learn how to use them more effectively and most of all so that we can put them into action at a moment's notice. Sometimes we will perform as we should, sometimes we will actually do better than our abilities would indicate, and sometimes we will be defeated, at least temporarily. But if we keep listening to the Coach and doing as He says, let Him give us the power and ability to use the talents that He Himself gave us, we can rise up in grace to fight again and again until we stand before Him as champions.

Unshackled Moments ~ May 28 ~ Fight No More Forever

I have it in my heart. I am tired of fighting. Our Chiefs are killed; Looking Glass is dead, Ta Hool Hool Shute is dead. The old men are all dead. It is the young men who say yes or no. He who led on the young men is dead. It is cold, and we have no blankets; the little children are freezing to death. My people, some of them, have run away to the hills, and have no blankets, no food. No one knows where they are - perhaps freezing to death. I want to have time to look for my children, and see how many of them I can find. Maybe I shall find them among the dead. Hear me, my Chiefs! I am tired; my heart is sick and sad. From where the sun now stands I will fight no more forever.

- Chief Joseph - 1877

This is perhaps one of the most simple yet profound surrender speeches I have ever read. I'm tired; my heart is sick and sad. From where the sun now stands I sill fight no more forever. No matter how strong we are, no matter how determined we are, no matter anything, there comes a point when we simply do not have the fortitude to continue to fight. The battle is no longer worth the toll we are paying. We're going to surrender. The question is to whom or what? There are three choices. We can surrender to death, lay down and die. We can surrender to that which we were fighting and return to the drink or the drug or whatever had us in bondage. Or, we can choose to surrender to God.

When we turn to our Creator and declare that we are tired, sick and sad and have decided to stop fighting, He will accept our surrender on His terms, meaning we must surrender unconditionally. His terms are that we stop fighting, and that we serve Him and others in love. In return for that, He will not only spare our lives, but renew them, restore them and transform them into lives worth living. He will give us the power and strength to walk free of the things we couldn't walk away from before and to do whatever it is He asks of us. And then He gives us joy and peace and contentment and love. In other words, when we surrender, we get to exchange our hell for heaven.

Fight as long as you want, search far and wide, there is no better offer available. We will lose. We will surrender. So why wait? Surrender now so that the misery of the war can end. Just choose carefully who to surrender to.

Friday, May 27, 2016

Unshackled Moments ~ May 27 ~ Beautiful

My wife is attracted to me. She knows more about me than anyone else and sees me on such a close to constant basis that I can't begin to put my best foot forward and hide my mess from her. She still loves me. But this morning I'm thinking more about the exterior than the miracle of her loving the me that dwells in this shell. She is actually attracted to me. Sometimes she'll make a comment about her reaction to the way I looked when she first remembered seeing me, and by that I mean when we connected in this century. She doesn't remember me from junior high and high school, which is probably a good thing. She truly likes the way I look, even now, although I'm sure she would prefer I shave more often so I look less like a scruffy nerd herder.

This may seem like a silly thing to write about, or at least that it has nothing to do with the spiritual and recovery related themes of which I usually write. You may be thinking something along the lines of so what? Your wife finds you attractive. I would hope so. Or isn't that the way it's supposed to work? Perhaps if you know what I look like you agree with her and think I'm at least decent looking or attractive. Perhaps you think she's crazy and love is blind. Yes, maybe the idea is that love is blind, and her love provides a filter which somehow makes her see my physical appearance as better than it is. I sometimes feel like that must be it. But it's not. She liked the way I looked before she knew enough about who I am inside for the inside to somehow overpower the outside. And I have learned, most days, to accept that whatever genetic, cultural and personal programming goes into determining what she finds attractive about men somehow came up with image parameters that I fit within.

The reason that I'm going on about this is that it still surprises me. Every day I feel blessed. I don't get it or understand why or how she finds me attractive, but I'm glad that she does. You see, I've never liked the way I looked. I always wanted to look more like such and such and less like that. Even when I had times where I thought I looked OK and liked some things about my look, I couldn't review myself in a mirror without wishing I could change a few things. Maybe you can relate. I'm afraid that these types of feelings are all too common in our society that is so focused on appearance and body issues plague many.

I fit her image of attractive, and she fits mine. She is beautiful. I love looking at her. And sometimes she can't grasp that, because she doesn't fit her own image of what is and isn't beautiful in women. She does however fit mine, She has as much trouble at times believing that as I do believing her when she expresses being attracted to me. And it hit me this morning that we go through something similar with God.

God, the creator and maker of all the amazing beauty in the universe, glorious and awe inspiring, desires us, finds us attractive to Him. He calls us into relationship. There is something within us all that recognizes our need for relationship with God, and when we finally get a glimpse of who He is we see the perfect match to everything we find attractive and lovely. But then comes the time for our response. We can't believe someone so beautiful could want us. He says we're lovely and precious and we react instinctively with how wrong He is. He tells us what He sees that is precious and special and attractive to Him, we call up the list of the things we hate about ourselves inside and out. And it breaks His heart.

The truth is that He loves us. The truth is that we are beautiful to Him. And when we can accept that and relax into His desire for us we find ourselves matched perfectly with the One we were made for, the One who will never reject us, cast us away or push us aside. We will discover the love we have needed since birth. But when we continue to deny that we are the treasure to Him that He says, we put up barriers between us and the intimacy of the spirit that we so desperately need.

We were not made to live isolated lives. Human relationships are important and needed. And how we look never disqualifies us for that, because despite what society and media may say, we are not all attracted to the same image. Short, tall, skinny, fat, average, not average, every skin color and variation, every color of eyes and hair, no matter what we look like there is someone that sees that as attractive because of it and not despite it. Some of us, like me, are blessed enough to connect with that person, but whether we do or not, we can connect with the most important relationship. We can answer the call to relationship with Him who made us, who looked upon us as He formed us and said you are wonderful and beautiful to Me.

Thursday, May 26, 2016

Unshackled Moments ~ May 26 ~ Made For More

I pray that the eyes of your heart may be enlightened in order that you may know the hope to which He has called you, the riches of His glorious inheritance in His holy people, and His incomparably great power for us who believe.

- Ephesians 1:18-19a

We are made for more than a life of failure, of being trapped in the loop of defeat, of being ruled and made the conquered servant of our senses and emotions, our own self image, our rationalizations and excuses and our guilt. We are made to be more than the conquerors, to be victorious, to have the abundant life of a child of the King in which nothing can prevent us from carrying out what we are meant to do, because nothing has the authority to do so.

Once some of the big chains are removed, it's tempting at times to stop there. Free of the bondage and addictions that were quickly and painfully killing us, some of the minor things can seem like nothing more than annoyances or inconveniences. It doesn't seem worth the fight. They don't seem to be doing much damage. Why bother facing the struggle to fight the lies and bondage of what we have always believed about self image and self identity, to treat the sickness that doesn't seem to be as active as it once was or doesn't seem to cause pain or discomfort or pain nearly as often or as severely as before. But just because a sickness seems under control and the effects do not appear to be interfering with life much does not mean that things wouldn't be much much better if the disease was eliminated completely.

I can remember times when my mother told me things like you're not a brat, so don't act like one. When teachers complained to my parents that I could do much better and had more potential than the results of my studies were showing. Many instances and periods in life I simply did not live up to the idea of being the best I could be, and that settling for living and being less became easier.

When it just seems too hard to eliminate self hatred, anger, fear, etc. we can remind ourselves of the truth of who we are. I am not my sin. I am not my past. I am not my failure. I am not the mistakes I continue to make. Neither are you We are the children of the King. We are the precious people He says were are. We have His power within us and full access and authority to use it. We are not shackled by our own abilities and understanding. We have His ability and His wisdom by grace.

We need power and ability beyond our frail attempts and fickle resolve. We need strength greater than our senses and emotions, habits and past patterns. And we have it. We have within us the truth and the grace to live out that truth. The truth is we are not the worm but the butterfly. We are who He says we are. We were made for more than this.

Wednesday, May 25, 2016

Unshackled Moments ~ May 25 ~ Turn The Ringer On

I usually keep my phone with me during the day in case Leah needs me or just wants to shoot me an I love you text. Sometimes if I haven't heard from her in a while I'll shoot her the I love you and wait for the reply. It usually comes within seconds unless she is very busy, as my text responses to her are usually nearly instant when at all possible. And not to hurt anyone's feelings, but if that just made you think, He's not that fast in replying when I text, first realize that means you are close enough to have my number and then realize that you are not my wife. She has precedence over all but God. Her ringtone makes me dash across the room, if I have to, in order to see what My Lady might need. Everyone else can wait 30 seconds while I finish typing the sentence I'm writing.

That said, sometimes something happens that is not the norm for Leah and I. A battery will go dead without one of us realizing it. Or perhaps we see the battery is dying and plug the phone in to charge. Then we walk into another room for a minute and don't take our phone, tethered in place as it is by the power cord. Sometimes I will not realize that my phone is on silent, since I don't turn my ringer off often, usually only at church, at the movies, quiet places like libraries and doctor's offices and at night if there are late games that might set off notifications and disturb Leah. That last one is the one that most often gets me in trouble.

It still isn't a frequent thing for me to silence my phone at night, so when I do I often forget to turn the ringer back on in the morning. This can cause anxiety for either Leah or me. Leah will occasionally text me on one of those days without me hearing the phone vibrate and realize what happened. Usually when the phone is on the charger, and I just didn't worry because I thought I would hear the ringtone, and was in the other room. She texts or calls and gets no reply. Ten to thirty minutes later another attempt. Then a little later another. By this time she will be forgoing the texting for calling. And if she gets voice mail at that time, she is usually quite worried. Why? Because 30 minutes to an hour without hearing back from me is unheard of and unusual.

Now, I am not as quick to worry when I don't get a response, not because I worry less but because Leah has her ringer on about as much as I leave mine off. She periodically checks her phone when she can, but she doesn't have the ringer on while driving, at work etc. So sometimes she doesn't hear my text or call. Sometimes she's busy with work, on the phone with one of her kids or her mom, or something else that keeps her from replying quickly. So I don't worry for a while. Usually.

This morning was one of those days. I turned the ringer off last night and forgot to turn it on this morning. But I didn't charge my phone overnight and needed to plug it in. I thought the ringer was on and that I would be able to hear it sing You Make Me Smile if Leah texted. I began doing my morning reading and praying. Then on one of the occasions that I got up to refill my coffee cup I sent a text to Leah telling her that I love her and wish her a blessed day. Returning to my morning meditations part of me waited with pleasure for Leah's ringtone, knowing it would come and the smile it would bring. There's a reason You Make Me Smile is Leah's ringtone, because she does make me smile.

But the return ringtone didn't sound off. Usually Leah checks her phone when she gets to work, so it surprised me that she hadn't responded. After another half hour I began to worry about the silence. I hoped nothing happened to her phone or her on the way to work. I went into the bedroom to take my phone off the charger and send her another text only to discover that she had responded quite some time ago. I missed it because I didn't hear the phone vibrate. But she had answered me. I smiled and sent another text before turning the ringer back on. In seconds she made me smile again as her ringtone sounded.

So why share this with you, Dear Reader? Because I know sometimes it feels like God isn't listening when we pray. The are You there God? feeling is due to what we perceive as a lack of His response. Our fervent prayers can feel like one-sided texting. We send the messages out and get no response in return. Is He ignoring us? Maybe we have accidentally punched in the wrong number or something? But the truth is that He is not ignoring us. He is not too busy to check His messages. He isn't putting us off while He finishes something important. We are His bride, the one He drops everything for when our individual ringtone goes off. He longs to hear that tone. He has a special place for each and every one of us.

But how often do we shoot up a prayer or dozens of prayers not bothering to make sure our own receiver is on before going on about the business of our lives? How often do we send a message and then set our spiritual phone down and leave it in our prayer closet as we head off to work or play without it? How often do we turn it on only to send and then turn it off again without even waiting for an answer?

Prayer is like any conversation. We actually have to listen in order to hear. We have to stop talking long enough for the other person to get a word in edgewise or the conversation can only be one-sided. We need to wait for the response and leave the line open with the volume up. It doesn't mean we can't go on to work or whatever else we need to do. We can carry our phone with us wherever we go. If we're listening, no matter what else we are doing we can hear the message come in. And then we can stop, smile because He loves us and is thinking of us, and read His message in the midst of whatever else is happening.

Turn up the ringer. Listen for the tone. You may be surprised to hear how often He sends His love.

Tuesday, May 24, 2016

Unshackled Moments ~ May 24 ~ Green Light; Go!

I haven't been up long, and the day is slowly moving forward, gathering speed. Like a loaded down truck, the day may be slow off the line but before long it will be cruising along at 70 MPH and difficult to slow back down. So much to do. More than I can hope to accomplish needs to be done. But this brief time that it takes to get going is a blessing that can help determine how smooth or rough the rest of the ride will be.

Coffee? Check. Pandora playing the instrumental music I need this morning for meditation, reading and writing? Check. The readings for the morning? Check. Attitude? Check. No, wait. Checked and warning lights are clearly visible.

But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, longsuffering, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, self-control. Against such there is no law. And those who are Christ’s have crucified the flesh with its passions and desires. If we live in the Spirit, let us also walk in the Spirit.

- Galatians 5:22-25

I'm tired. I barely slept last night and haven't rested well in days. Leah and I have had a lot going on recently, and time for housekeeping has been sacrificed to make time for other obligations or to recover from some of those obligations by resting. The downside of growing older and having the body begin to fall apart is not being able to physically do as much for as long. Now the house is a mess and in need of a thorough cleaning. It can't be put off much longer because my wife is allergic to chaos and her mental health suffers when the house becomes too messy for too long. I have not begun preparing for tomorrow night's sermon, and need to spend some time doing that. I need to start hitting the paying job hunt hard until I find something. I have less than a week to finish a major project that I gave my word I would do. I need to do some shopping for food and necessities. I....

I feel exhausted and overwhelmed, and the day hasn't even gotten up to speed yet. Once it does, caught up in the trip, I will have so little time to choose routes and make adjustments. But the above passage of scripture is such a great way to check myself and prepare for what lies ahead, not just for the day, but for as long as the trip carrying the particular load I'm hauling takes. I surrender, and I commit to make the trip according to the method designed by the Master.

Love: Yes, today, I will walk in love. I will pause before I react to people and situations and pray for the love of Christ to override every old instinct to act in any other way than love, care and compassion.
Joy: That one is more difficult sometimes, especially when feeling tired and under pressure, but I will fuel my joy drive with thanksgiving and praise. A grateful heart goes a long way to keeping joy working smoothly.
Peace: I will remember that I have been forgiven much and will extend the gift of forgiveness to others so that I may go through this day in and at peace.
Longsuffering, or patience: I will be patient with myself and others, remembering that five years from now much of what I am frustrated about today won't matter, and that very little of it matters on the eternal time line.
Kindness: It's hard to imagine that you could start with love and somehow forget to be kind, but people who claim to be acting out of love far too often forget to be kind. Love demands that we treat people like they have value and do what is best, and sometimes that can be hard. Refusing to counsel a drunk while he is drinking does them more good than indulging them. It is an act of love. But remembering kindness effects how that refusal happens, and that can determine if they feel loved or rejected. Kindness matters. I will temper love with kindness today.
Goodness: There is a right way and a wrong way. Today when the road forks I will choose the next right path, even when it seems the longer more difficult path. In the end, it is the only road that will take me where I need to be.
Faithfulness: I will establish my choices on what God says is true, regardless of what my emotions and senses are telling me about a situation.
Gentleness: This isn't a redundancy on kindness. It means to not be wildly rebellions, to be broken and gentle like a horse. Today I will allow my Creator to hold the reins.
Self control:...

That last one is a doozy. If there is one thing I have never been known for it's self control. And feeling tired and under the gun doesn't bring out that trait in me very often. But the truth is there is really only one choice I have any say in the matter. Only one area of self that I can control. I think that is why this is listed last, because now, at the start when the light turns green and before the truck gets up to full speed is the time to make that choice. To be or not to be, to surrender or not surrender, yes, that is the question and the choice. Today I choose surrender and to do what is called for on the check list for those who belong to Christ and wish to live for and by Him. Now, before I have to react at full speed, I can crucify, execute, my self-will with its wants, demands and instincts, and surrender the driver's seat to the Spirit.

That's why I need that wonderful reminder at the end, that those of us made alive by the power of the Spirit must also live by that same power. Because when I look at that list I only add feeling overwhelmed otherwise. I can determine and will to do those things, but the truth is, even as I commit to doing them, I know it's hopeless. I cannot complete the goal. I cannot stay within the lane of love and further adjust my direction and speed with joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness or self control. I can't do it. That's why the first of the gratefulness that I pour in to my tank is for grace. God's grace provides the drive and power to accomplish this journey that I could never make on my own. And His promise of forgiveness removes the fear that comes when faced with such an impossible task.

Monday, May 23, 2016

Unshackled Moments ~ May 23 ~ When Hope Is Hidden

When I was a child there was something I looked for for the last ten minutes or so of our trips to go see my grandparents. We called it "The New Boston Star," and it was a sign in the shape of a start drawing attention to a little motel off the interstate in a little town that made my tiny hometown of Nacogdoches feel huge. That star meant we were almost there, the trip was almost over, we were about to reach our goal of traveling safely from one destination to another. The sight of that star filled us with excitement and hope and promised relied in the way of a bathroom and ability to walk around and stop feeling car sick was ours to have in a matter of minutes.

The more miserable I felt from being car sick, the more relieved I felt to see that star. But the star didn't stay in sight. Terrain blocked the view. As trees alternately allowed a view and blocked it and slight changes in elevation raised us enough to see further down the road or lowered us into a depression that meant markers down the road were impossible to see, the star came and went from our vision. But that didn't mean anything. Once the star was spotted, it was done. It didn't matter if we didn't see it again until we were right at the exit. The hope didn't go away. The understanding we were close didn't disappear. The promise of relief didn't suddenly feel less obtainable simply because our view of the star was blocked.

That's why we keep going and what it means to walk by faith and not by sight. It doesn't mean that we blindly follow some words someone says with no evidence or basis to support them. It's the opposite of that actually. It's an understanding of the truth that truth is more trustworthy and reliable than our senses and emotions. We who have found a glimpse of Jesus, the truth who has made us free, have caught sight of the light that leads us to hope and relief and fulfillment. His word and His promises are true and they don't disappear or fail because terrain and life block our view. Sometimes on a clear night we could see that star miles and miles away, and then it might feel like half the distance was covered before we saw it again. Sometimes we see God and His truths and then may not see the evidence of who He is and His truth again for an hour or a week or what feels like an eternity. But life getting in the way of our ability to sense what we sensed before does not change the truth that the reality and position of the light hasn't changed at all. Only our perception. Don't quit. Don't give up. Because it is by continuing on the same road as we were on that we keep getting closer and closer. There will be breaks in the landscape that allow glimpses through the trees that keep us going and reassure us that we are still on track, but even better than that, there will come a point where we will get so close that no tree, no building, no circumstance or situation can keep us from seeing the light any longer. Nothing will block our vision of who He is and His great love for us.

Thursday, May 19, 2016

Unshackled Moments ~ May 19 ~ Pursuing Happiness

We have the right to life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness, and that little declaration may be one of the worst mistakes our founding fathers made. It sounds good. It sounds right. But living in exercise of these rights is a sure way to misery and most of the problems we're facing as a society.

When we live like we have a right to our life, as though our life is ours to do with as we will, it leads to frustration, heart ache and misery. To gain a life worth living we must lose our life, our right to rule it. Life comes through sacrifice and surrender. Liberty when ruling our own life becomes seen as doing whatever we want, whenever we want it, however we want to do it. And in reality it leads only to bondage. True liberty is found in walking in grace and surrender to God. The natural and logical conclusion of the right to our own life, to do what we will leads us to an endless and fruitless pursuit of happiness and pleasure, wrapped in emotion and fleeting.

Like grabbing at bubbles that pop as soon as they are touched we chase every impulse and follow every instinct gone awry to try to fill the need for joy. It never works well or for long, and in the end life becomes empty and meaningless. That is if the things we chase, believing they will bring happiness, don't kill us.

But when we give up our rights to our Creator, when we give Him the right to rule our life and do with it what He wills, He makes us free. We experience liberty in the truest and most lasting sense of the word. Freedom that can't be lost regardless of the situation. And in service to Him, through seeking and pursuing Him above and before all else we find joy that gives us strength, can't be killed by circumstance and runs deeper than emotion and situation based happiness.

Today let us give up our rights and pursue God. Let us look to Him for our life worth living, our liberty and our joy. It works. It lasts. And it can't be taken away or destroyed.

Spiritual Service

Dalyn Woodard continues the study of Romans with a look at verses 5-8 of chapter 12 and how the purpose of our offering our lives to God is to be of service to Him. We each have a unique combination of gifts and talents given to us by God along with the faith to use them. This is a brief overview of some general types of giftings and how we should use what we are given to be of service to others and further God's plan. The message, "Spiritual Service" is about an hour and 42 minutes long and was recorded at Nacogdoches Christian Fellowship on Wednesday, May 18, 2016. It's our prayer that you are blessed and ministered to as you listen. May God bless and keep you.

Wednesday, May 18, 2016

Unshackled Moments ~ May 18~ The Touch Of Tragedy

Troubles come. Boy do they come. They come when least convenient and when least expected. Even if we become so broken and bitter by our struggles and woundings that we never expect good to come or last in our lives, somehow tragedy has a way of catching us off guard. We walk hand in hand with sorrow like she's our best friend and are still surprised when sadness overwhelms us.

I wish it were not so, but we all experience heartbreak, sickness, sorrow, tragedy, destruction, wounds and death in this life. Some of us have experienced a deeper level of hell than others, but we have all felt the winds of the storms that show signs of the curse. And when the hurricane hits it is not the time to make things worse. Everything is going wrong! How could anything make it worse?

Well, if we want to survive a hurricane we need to take steps to better weather the storm and to limit our vulnerability. It's not the time to go sailing. It's not the time to take a stroll down the street. It's not a time to smile the pain away and pretend the problem doesn't exist. It doesn't protect us from the tragedies that come to push it all down into a box and whistle until the pressure finally causes an explosion of pain and problems when the storm can no longer be contained or held back. It's also not a time to panic and be guided purely by emotion and reaction, as storms bring fear, which brings anger. Anger and fear, when driven by the storms, do a lot of collateral damage to our lives and the lives of those around us.

Switching metaphors, failing to treat our troubles leads to infection and blood poisoning of the spirit. Just because we are able to cover a wound and keep it below the surface doesn't mean that it is healing, and it doesn't mean that it isn't killing us. We see a scab or even new skin on the surface but below that, being carried through every nook and cranny of our being, is sickness, anger and depression. Maybe we assign blame, aiming arrows of resentment at God, ourselves and or others. It may seem like it makes us feel better or even strengthens us, but giving into bitterness actually only magnifies the destruction of tragedy, spreads the infection and destroys the good in life. It leaves us scarred, twisted, and deformed from what we have experienced and gone through. We can't live life to it's fullest. We can't stand under the weight of guilt and blame and bitterness, becoming crippled.
So if we can't push it down or pretend it doesn't exist, fake it till we make it or react instinctively, what are we supposed to do when everything goes wrong and life turns horrible? Is all really lost? Does this tragedy mean God doesn't love us or care for us? It can feel that way, because we have some messed up idea that if we are good, or good enough, it's supposed to work as storm prevention. We want to believe that if God loves us nothing bad will ever happen in our lives. But the problem with that lie is that when bad things do happen, and they will, it leaves us questioning the love of God.

God never promised anyone, not even His only Son, a safe, trouble free, painless journey through life. Nowhere does He promise to instantly take away all our pain or remove every obstacle and struggle from life, not on this side of eternity anyway. That's just not how it works. We're promised beauty from ashes, which means there was tragedy and destruction that caused the ash from which to bring beauty from. We are promised grace to endure and overcome, which means there will be things we have to overcome and endure. We are promised new life from death, which means that there will be times when death works in situations and aspects of our life. We are told that God will be with us so that we don't have to be afraid of evil as we walk through the valley of the shadow, but that means we will walk through that valley. We are never promised we can skip it or avoid it or that it will be removed. We are promised that He will be there with us, that He will never leave us or forsake us and that He is and always will be a place of refuge and a help if we turn to Him in times of need.

God is there, as He promised, waiting for us to turn to Him, to cry out to Him for help and comfort and grace. He will not force Himself on us, but He will respond to our seeking Him, because He longs to be gracious to us. It is His greatest desire to have relationship with us, fellowship with us, to heal the brokenhearted and set the captive free. He is our source of Comfort. He is not a magic genie to make everything perfect, but someone who can be closer than a lover, offering true comfort and strength to us as He goes through the storms with us and keeps us afloat no matter how rough the seas get.

Seek Him in the darkness and the turmoil of the storm. Acknowledge His presence in the boat of your life. We can yell at Him if that's where we need to start. He's a big God. He can take it. He knows what we're feeling and what's in our heart better than we do anyway, so there's no point in trying to word things a certain way or hold back like we would with a person. He knows. So lay it out. When we're hurting and confused and scared because of the pain and tragedy it's Ok to start from a place of expressing that. But let's not stay there. Let's remember that He cares for us and loves us, even as life tears us apart. Like a mother pouring alcohol in a child's wound to help heal and prevent infection is acting out of love, even as the pain worsens, and not in fact ignoring her child's cries or torturing the them. Let's give Him a hug of praise and thanksgiving for His love.

Sometimes the pain is caused by what it will take to make things better instead of letting them kill us. He is good, even though the alcohol stings and burns. Even though He's making the wound bleed, thereby cleaning the wound, instead of sealing the cut shut like we want. Remember the mother pouring alcohol in the wound? Remember what happened next? The coolness of her comforting breath as she blew softly to easy the sting and burn? I know it hurts and burns, but it will be OK. This will make it better. This part hurts, but we need to go through it so that it will heal properly. Let me blow on it and ease your pain. Seek God's loving comfort and those who comfort and encourage as we go through the necessary steps to heal, even though they hurt. Beware the false comfort of those who encourage us to feed our anger and bitterness and self pity, as this may hurt less than what feels like alcohol in our wound but actually increases our chances of infection.

As much as we would like to avoid all tragedy and trouble, these things help us grow stronger. They help us learn, they teach us to fly, and they make us empathetic to the needs and hurts of others while giving us experience to help them. The struggle to escape the cocoon, which seems safe but will eventually kill us if we don't escape it, is what allows the butterfly to thrive and live ad be beautiful. Because no matter what it feels like, there is nothing new under the sun, and we are never experiencing unique tragedy. We can come through struggle and tragedy stronger, healthier, as we learn to care for others and learn to rely on God, or we can embrace bitterness. The first option makes life better for us and others. The second simply makes us and everyone around us miserable.

Tuesday, May 17, 2016

Unshackled Moments ~ May 17 ~ Screw Self-Esteem

The shaming lies were the second lies ever told. The first lie, that we could be our own God, led to the fall and the curse and expulsion from the Garden of Eden. But right on the heals of the first lie came the second, the lie of shame, that told Adam and Eve they had no hope and needed to hide from Daddy who had never done anything harsh or unloving toward them ever. And they hid. They believed the lies that shame told them. And the Spirit of Shame, which caused the first couple to cover themselves in fig leaves has been busy, and is very good at the destruction it does.

Shame tells us that we will never overcome the obstacles and the destruction of the past. that the scars from wars long over will never fade. We will never outlive our mistakes, we will never be quite good enough or forgiven enough or successful enough or called of God enough to make up for all the shortcomings and horrors that make up our mental mirror reflection. Lies designed to either distract and drive us to stay focused on proving to ourselves and others that we have value or make us give up. Perhaps we yo-yo between giving up and overdrive, but in both cases we are not concentrating on who God is, who we are to Him and in Him, or our service to Him.

Be careful before you dismiss the idea of the shackles of shame. There is a flip side to that coin. The heads to shame's tails is pride. We get sucked into the lie that our accomplishments and our efforts or something about the way we look, act, or are, make us worthy. The past shouldn't matter because of what we've done since. The past isn't as bad as the good we've done. We have value because we have....because we help others in such and such a way...because we serve God by.......

Pride and shame, twin lies that cause us to look at the wrong places for our value and significance. Looking for worth in all the wrong places is as much a mistake as looking for love in those places. Our worth is not in somehow overcoming the past. It's also not destroyed and unrecoverable by anything we have done. Our worth is not in our job or taking care of our responsibilities, or in being a good father, mother, daughter, son, brother, sister or even friend. It is not in charity work or success in ministry or philanthropy or anything...not a single thing we do or have done determines our value, except....

Do we accept the Appraiser's declaration of our worth? Our value and our significance is determined by the One who made us and forgave us and restored us. He has made us new. He has made us worthy. He has made us clean and righteous. He said we have value and worthiness. even before we answer the call to come to Him. It's now in relationship with Him that we find the beauty and wonder of a life worth living and of value.

The team of shame and pride come at us to make us strive to prove our worth to God, to people and to ourselves. We try to hide, mask and outshine our mistakes, we try to out perform and outserve our humanness. In the meantime we are bombarded by lies that say we have no right to speak, serve minister or otherwise answer the call of God on our lives because we have done the unforgivable, or flip that and we believe we have proved our own worth because we have overcome the great mountain of obstacles to build or do something great. We are never satisfied with how we look, sound, move or anything physically, mentally, emotionally and spiritually or we over esteem our part in our worth.

I have a reminder of both sides of that coin. Today is my sobriety anniversary, my un-bellybutton birthday of six years clean and sober. That's the sort of thing that could open me up to the lies of pride. I am grateful for it, but I also know that it was not I who accomplished this thing but He who lives within me and gave me access to power I do not have on my own. This mile marker is a gift of grace and does not determine my value and worth.

But today is more than my recovery birthday. Fifteen years ago today I stood in court and plead guilty to a felony. Mistakes made finally caught up with me, and life as I knew it up to that point was gone forever. The very convincing lies of shame say that is a stain that can never be cleaned or covered up. The consequences can never be outlived. It will forever be a hindrance and lowers my worth and value. my worth and my ability to be used of God and care for my family and be a good husband, son, brother.....

The pride and the shame are both lies and distractions. My value and worth are not increased by my sobriety, which is not due to my accomplishments or ability or strength anyway. It is a gift of grace given that I can help others and show His love, power and glory. That same purpose for the same grace covers the crimes of my past, even the ones that never saw a courtroom. My value is not lowered by my sin or my shame. Neither is yours.

Our value, our worth and significance is not based on our self-esteem or estimation or appraisal of our self. Neither is it determined or truly effected by any other person's ideas or beliefs about us. It is based on the esteem we have in the eyes of our Creator. He says we are fearfully and wonderfully made. He says we are worth and loved so much that He came and died and took our place, paid our debt. He alone is worthy on merit, but He gave us His worthiness. Nothing we have done, ever, can devalue us in His eyes, nor can anything we can do, other than surrender and accept His free gift of grace, increase our worth or significance.

Today let us not fall into the trap of trying to raise or establish our own self-esteem. Screw self-esteem. Self-esteem is never the answer. It is always too high or too low. Even if we manage to get it right, it is still too based on self. Let us look to understand and live by our God-esteem. When we live in that place where our value, worth and abilities are all rooted in who He says we are, what He says we are and what He says He can do in and through us, we will no longer be shackled and held back by either shame or pride.

Monday, May 16, 2016

Unshackled Moments ~ May 16 ~ Game, Set, Match

Today's Unshackled Moment is an audio Message recorded Sunday, May 15, 2016 at Nacogdoches Christian Fellowship on living victoriously when things don't happen the way we think they should or expect them to. The message, "Game, Set, Match" is about an hour and 15 minutes long. It's our prayer that you are blessed and ministered to as you listen. May God bless and keep you.

Sunday, May 15, 2016

Unshackled Moments ~ May 15 ~ Progress Not Perfection Needs Progress

Progress not perfection is all that keeps us from giving up in despair at times, especially in the beginning. When we have never walked with God or have played the prodigal for so long the pig pen is all we know, it becomes first nature to do anything and everything but the will of God for us. When we come to begin the spiritual journey to freedom and new life, it can be so difficult to accept and utilize the grace that will enable us to make the right choices and steps.

There is often a lot of falling down and getting back up, asking for forgiveness and trying again. I am two days from six years clean and sober but had I not relapsed more than once since the first day I realized I was truly powerless and in need of help I would have seven and a half years. But I don't beat myself up over the relapses and the setbacks because I learn from them, they give me experience with which to help others, and because I believe in grace and forgiveness and a loving, understanding God who takes us forward from glory to glory and from hopeless to new life over time.

But before we get too comfortable in the idea that not moving forward as much or as quickly as we should is OK because we are only supposed to be making progress not be perfect, let us remember that we are called to strive for perfection and that to accept progress rather than perfection we need to be making progress. When we have been in rebellion to God and in bondage for so long we know nothing but the slavery, to even look off in the distance from Egypt's border toward the Promised Land and decide to trust God and begin the journey is progress, even if we haven't taken a single step. But if time passes and we still haven't taken a step further than believing there is Promised Land and something different out there somewhere, we're not making progress.

At the start of the journey to freedom, we may look back so often it would seem our head is on a swivel. We might even make one step forward and two steps back at times. This period is often when we hear the encouragement of progress not perfection. I heard it often as I struggled. I would get about two weeks sober and then fall, having to start over again. It took me months to get one month clean and sober, which I celebrated by getting high and drunk.

But at the time, that indeed was progress. For a little while moving three feet forward and then six feet back is progress when compared to constantly going in the wrong direction. But if it doesn't become one step forward one step back, and then two steps forward one step back, there will never be any real progress. There has to come a point where there is more forward progress than negative movement or there is no progress.

The Israelites got free from their slavery in Egypt, but they stopped making progress. They didn't return to the slavery of the past, but they also didn't experience the joy and blessing of the promise either. They wandered in circles in the desert for 40 years to finally reach a place they would have found theirs in a few months had they followed God. Most of them died in a dry place instead of in the lushness of promise. That's not progress.

Only God and you can honestly evaluate if you are still moving enough to be calling it progress or if you have begun to wander the desert. I myself have taken time away from pursuing the promise to spin in the sand of the desert. I can attest that it us a dry and miserable period where I thirsted for God, experiencing Him just enough to remember He's real and stay alive, to keep me from returning to slavery, but not enough to experience the flowing milk and honey of having my needs all met and living happy, joyous and free. If we have become the wanderer, we do not need to make things worse by beating ourselves up or reacting by refusing to try because we failed.

The truth is that whenever we begin trying on our own. we will come to a place of failure. We need grace to make progress. So let us be quick when we realize that we have stopped moving forward or when we continue to make U-turns that give back the yardage we have made to repent, ask for forgiveness and surrender to His direction. He will lead us out of the desert if we let Him. It may be quickly, it may be slowly, but it will happen. But may we not confuse slow with stationary.

Saturday, May 14, 2016

Unshackled Moments ~ May 14 ~ Momma Giraffes Aren't Mean

There is no shortage of inspirational and moral stories floating around out there, especially on the Internet. Not only is it easy to come across one fairly often, they're hard to avoid, especially if you participate in social media. Stories like the young woman about to be tricked into marrying someone she doesn't want to marry thinking outside the box to use the bad man's trick against him. There are stories about deaf frogs that are supposed to encourage us not to listen to others telling us to give up. One that is easy to find from many sources is the inspirational story about mother giraffes and their newborn babies.

The general idea is that baby giraffes immediately face two hardships. First a ten foot drop due to the mother giving birth standing up; followed by the mother kicking the baby and sending him sprawling. There are variations on the story from the kicking happening only if the baby doesn't get up fast enough to it happening right away with every time the baby starts to rise the mother kicking it back down until it gives up and then kicking it to make it try once more! The idea is that the baby needs to be able to get to its feet quickly if it is going to survive the predators and the hardship of the mother's rough treatment is forcing it to learn this important lesson so that it can survive. If you do a search on Google for this story, you will find many versions to choose from, including many Christian writers and speakers and ministers who use this story as part of some object lesson to remind us that if God is treating us roughly it may be just that we need to learn a lesson that will help us survive later down the road.

It's a good story. There are so many people who feel like God has been mean to them. How awesome to have a tale to tell to give a different perspective on the beatings of our past. The only problem is that it isn't true, or if it is true, it isn't the norm. I found many people claiming this phenomena, but searching led to no documentation. Even the links that supposedly confirmed the stories led to sites that either were only another person retelling the story or all they confirmed was the mother gives birth standing up, although she squats and the fall is a little over half of the ten feet many of these stories claim.

Animal Planet, The Giraffe Conservation Society and other more legitimate sources say nothing about such treatment. This morning I have watched multiple videos of giraffes giving birth and the moments afterward, and not one kick occurred. So who cares? It's an inspirational story. What does it matter if it's bogus? It's a moral fable.

It matters because it's not being presented as a fable. People are repeating this story as fact and we're learning a false lesson about a real God. The lesson is of a mean mom helping prepare her child to make what we've feel like we've been through with Daddy more acceptable to us. It's almost like we are supposed to hear this story and say, OK, God. I get it now. You're were helping me learn something important when you were mean to me, so I forgive You.

But the truth that multiple videos and the animal sites I read showed was not mother giraffes being hard and mean but encouraging. They licked and nuzzled their babies. They cleaned them and made their presence known and stood guard. Daddy does the same for us. Yes, there are times life is hard and we have to endure some hurts and weaknesses. Sometimes the lions show up while we can't stand. There are times we have trouble and are wobbly on our goofy little legs. But Daddy is not mean to us. He doesn't bully or mistreat us in order to toughen us up and make us strong. That's human thinking. God made us strong by becoming weak, taking on our debt, dying and then giving us His power to replace and bolster our own.

We don't need to understand God's meanness so that we can forgive Him, because the idea that God has been cruel to teach us some much needed life lesson is a myth. God has not been cruel. God stood between our vulnerability and the lions. He encouraged us. He cleaned us. He called us to Him so that we could be protected and strengthened and cared for. He fed us. He stood by us waiting for us and calling us to come to Him for shelter and supply when life was kicking us and the predators came for our blood.

Friday, May 13, 2016

Unshackled Moments ~ May 13 ~ Live Beyond Your Means

Anyone who lives within their means suffers from a lack of imagination.

- Oscar Wilde

This is funny and sad at the same time, when taken as intended. The great drive we all have to live beyond our means, to have more than we can afford, including in non-financial areas, the concept of laugh now - cry later, is something that has created a hole that many of us struggle to get out of and not to return to. I have thought before that America's motto shouldn't be Land of the free;home of the brave any longer as much as Buy now; pay later. But I don't want to rant against the something for nothing, debt based, leave the mess for someone else to clean up structure our society has become.

The thought that crossed my mind when I most recently read this quote was how, tongue and cheek or not, it really is a call to responsibility and not living beyond our means. Then I thought, but we're supposed to. We are supposed to live extravagantly beyond our means. Not in a selfish, self centered, have everything I want but can't afford, give me what they have, kind of way, but in a child of a rich and loving Father kind of way. He paid the debt due on the damages of our lives so that we can have a relationship with Him and be free of judgment and condemnation. No matter what kind of special interest rate we might find, that is a bill we would never be able to afford.

Being made clean and giving us forgiveness we never deserve is just the beginning. Then Daddy generously pours out His Spirit to give us power that we could never harness or develop that makes us free and gives us the ability to walk with Him. To walk with God is due to extravagant grace and means that we are living well beyond our means, far outside the confines of what we can do and provide on our own. And wait; there's more! The returns and benefits of surrender to the Spirit include suddenly finding one's self living a life worth living with love from and for God and for others, with joy that doesn't get destroyed by a flat tire, an unexpected bill or even a life threatening illness, and peace that doesn't make sense considering the circumstances that can't shake it, in the very midst of the wind and rain of hurricane the spirit can stay calm. What would a life like that be worth?

Well, like they say, if you have to ask, you can't afford it. And you can't. I can't either. No one can, because you can not do well enough, make enough, steal enough or fake enough to earn it. Earning it takes perfection, perfect righteousness and perfect holiness. Once again, none of us qualify. The best don't even come close. There are no good people in heaven. There are forgiven people in heaven. There are no low, low payments or even high, high payments or amount of work that can make this awesome life package ours. It is beyond our means.

But the answer isn't found in imagination, manipulation or working any system but rather in the very core of truth that created all that has ever been created. God has made this available to everyone who wants it. There is freedom. There is a life worth living. It is possible to be happy, joyous and free beyond not only our means but our wildest dreams and imagination. It's free. It costs everything that we have. Giving our all could never come close to affording all this and heaven too, but when we give everything, all our heart, mind and soul to Him who made the way, He makes it enough. We become His children, inheritors who live well beyond our means because Daddy made sure the bills have all been paid and everything we need is provided for.

Thursday, May 12, 2016

Unshackled Moments ~ May 12 ~ The Good Side Of Bad

I have something wrong with my eyes that has caused my vision to worsen greatly from better than 20*20 to barely able to function in about ten years. And it's getting worse, dramatically so in the last few months. In addition to that, as if that weren't bad enough, from time to time there is, in one eye or the other, inflammation that causes pressure build up that causes blood vessels to burst, pain and extreme light sensitivity. Evidently each episode also causes scar tissue that in turn worsens my vision. None of the doctors I have seen have been able to tell what is going on or why. A few months ago during my last eye exam, the optometrist told me he wouldn't give me a stronger prescription for glasses because it wouldn't help. He said the problem is surgical, although he didn't know what it was, and told me to see an ophthalmologist.

It took a while, but I finally got the referral and an appointment set. It was supposed to be this afternoon, actually. Two days ago I had the start of one of the worst flair ups I've had in probably seven years or more. So much pain that it made me nauseous and made it difficult to think. I couldn't see enough to read and spent most of yesterday with all the lights in the house off. I wasn't able to preach last night. I was incapacitated by eye lack of vision and pain.

I had a lot of people praying for me, especially my wonderful wife, but things seemed to increasingly get worse. It felt like and looked like God was ignoring our cries, indifferent to my suffering, leaving me hurting and unable to do anything. But sometimes what it looks like isn't what is. Sometimes we need bad to get to the good. There is sometimes a good side of bad. Leah called the doctor's office. and, because of the pain and situation, my appointment was moved to yesterday afternoon. I saw the doctor a day early. Then because I was in the middle of one of the worst flair ups in years, I didn't have to try to explain the symptoms. They were obvious. He could see exactly what has been happening. Finally, I have a diagnosis and have begun treatment. I will most likely have to have surgery, but there is a plan that should save my vision. This pain will soon be a memory, and, at the very least, my vision should stop getting worse without new scar tissue. That, in and of itself. would be enough tor celebration. But there is hope for so much more.

I didn't get the relief I wanted. I am still in pain, and it's taken about an hour to write this little bit because I can't see well and have to keep looking away from the screen until my eye stops hurting before I can continue for a few seconds. I could easily feel a little like George Bailey and think I got more pain in answer to prayer. But what I got was what was needed for someone to finally understand what disease has caused a decade long problem. If given the choice I would much prefer one last bad flair up and a diagnosis over who knows how much longer for the doctor to figure out the issue with less pain but things continuing to worsen in the meantime. But I didn't have the choice. God didn't say, Dalyn, I'm going to let this happen so that something good can come out of it. I could have gotten upset. I could have felt deserted by God in the time of need and therefore justified in taking care of my pain and discomfort with drugs or alcohol. One more flair up of the if God won't stop my suffering, I will syndrome that has been the story of my past. Or I could put my trust in the truth that God is good, even when it doesn't feel like it and pray for the grace to endure, have peace and continue to trust and obey.

I have often failed under such conditions, but this time I trusted. The fear didn't overwhelm me. In fact I felt assured that treatment would come. I endured the pain with nothing stronger than Tylenol, which in all truth didn't do much. I didn't run from God or get angry. The situation is not much better. The drops haven't done much yet. I am still hurting and having more trouble than usual seeing. But I have an understanding I didn't have before. I have hope that I didn't have before. This time I was able to see the good side of bad and be thankful for the very flair up that is causing so much pain and inconvenience.

Sometimes God works wonders in the midst of unanswered prayers. Let us pray to learn to trust when we are going through the Valley of Shadows, to allow the suffering to take us closer to God and cultivate something wonderful and special that we might not ever be able to see come to be without the seeds of suffering, and let us pray for the grace to see the good side of the bad.

Wednesday, May 11, 2016

Unshackled Moments ~ May 11 ~ Criminal Minds

Monsters are real, and ghosts are real too. They live inside us, and sometimes, they win.

- Dr. Reid on Criminal Minds quoting Stephen King

I happen to think it's really cool when a character in a book or show I enjoy quotes an author or musician that I like. This is one of those instances. Reid is one of my two favorite, kill them off and I quit watching the show forever, characters on Criminal Minds (Penelope is the other, by the way), and I think that Stephen King has an amazing insight into the minds and motives of average people with an unique ability to express what would happen when Average Joe finds himself in a not so average situation. I think King has also learned that it's much easier to write believable characters and ideas that are scary, sad and screwed up, because it's easier for most of us to identify and associate with that trio than the happy, joyous and free one.

We may not like to admit it, but it's true. Heartbreaking poetry is real and deep, while happy poetry is gift card cheese. Why? Because we don't believe it through and through. Because it is easier to believe in fear and sadness and everything being and going wrong. When I first began to feel good and happy after getting clean and sober I didn't know what to do with myself. I didn't know how to handle good feelings, and I surely didn't know how to express it without sounding silly and sappy. And even when we do feel happy, joyous and free, there is all too often that underlying expectation for the rug to be pulled out, for the other shoe to drop, for a million other cliches we have to express the idea of life returning to its normal state of misery and chaos.

Why is it that when things are rough we don't wait for the other shoe to drop something good into our life? Because evil is easier to believe in, even when it reaches unbelievable and unthinkable expressions, than goodness, hope and love that never ends. It's easier to see. I think it's at least partly because we all have criminal minds.

We all have monsters that live in our minds who sometimes team up with the ghosts that dwell there as well. Monsters made up of fear, scars and hurt. Monsters that tell us to grab what we can while we can because everyone else will. Monsters that say hurt them before they hurt us or at least hurt them back. Monsters that say that person's monster is worse and different than mine so they deserve pain and death while I should get mercy and understanding. Monsters that don't bother hiding under the bed or in closets anymore and that try so hard to drown out the still small voice telling us that the monster in our heads is a lying, puffed-up, broken mess of self.

The answer, the small voice tells us, is another, a better way. A way that is not ours and is not natural to us. The way of love will light up and defeat the darkness, within and without. Our minds can be renewed and transformed incapacitating the monsters and making the ghosts insubstantial. There is freedom from addictions and behavior patterns available, joy that doesn't depend on circumstances and happiness that doesn't live in fear of raining sneakers available to all of us. Criminal minds can become new minds of love, kindness and mercy when we surrender and kill the monster of self on the altar and freely receive the mind off Christ in its place.

Tuesday, May 10, 2016

Unshackled Moments ~ May 10 ~ Willing To Go To Any Lengths

I remember when I first began getting clean and sober, my second mentor often insisted that I comply to a certain way of thinking and agree to things that at the time I didn't feel had much of anything to do with my sobriety. Whenever I would balk and stiffen my neck in rebellion the response would in some way incorporate the idea of any lengths. The any lengths concept comes from the main text of Alcoholics Anonymous, chapter 5 How It Works, but the first part of this chapter is now used in a wide variety of step based programs dealing with many different issues and addictions. It is the introduction to the 12 steps and is found in a sentence that reads,

if you want what we have and are willing to go to any lengths to get it, then you are ready to take certain steps.

But exactly what that means is open to some interpretation, or at least is disputed. To me, it always meant that in order to work the steps successfully and get clean I had to be willing to do whatever it would take to do that. I have heard people say that if that meant they needed to stand on their head in a corner for an hour they would do so, but I never felt that way. For me it meant if you could convince me that standing on my head in the corner for an hour would help me work the steps I would do it, otherwise you could take the suggestion to stand on my head and shove it. I wasn't going to do it. I took this approach with more than one of the suggestions people gave me of things I needed to do in order to get sober. If it were step related, I did it. If it lined up with or could be read to me from the book, I did it. If it seemed the personal opinion of Mr. or Ms. So-And-So, I did it or didn't as I felt, wanted or saw fit.

I listened after a couple of relapses at work when I was told that until I found myself set free from the obsession to drink and drug I needed to quit that job. I couldn't stay sober surrounded by people drinking and using on the clock and at breaks. I didn't find another job for over a year, but I don't regret going to that length because it was necessary. Today I could work there and stay free, but it's a different situation when freedom has not yet been found, only searched for. I didn't listen when told not to make any major changes to my life for the first year. I had just gotten out of prison after over 7 years. Everything I did, down to the toothpaste I bought at a store with choices and doors that opened and closed for me, was a major change. Some lengths I went to and some, if I didn't see a connection to the steps, I refused. Some suggestions were necessary, both ones I took and ones I refused at first. Some suggestions were not necessary and were extraneous tradition that came later, like many of the traditions in Christianity that are not found in the book but are sometimes treated as though they are, or were simply the opinions of the people trying to help.

And that leads me to where I stand on the idea of any lengths today. How I understand one day at a time has changed as my recovery has progressed, and so has the concept of any lengths. Today I do not attach the willingness to go to any lengths to any one part of my life, such as recovery. It is tied to any and every thing that has to do with practicing the spiritual principles through which I found life and freedom, which in turn means that it is interwoven into every aspect of life. But it's still not about the thoughts of people, even people trying to help, because I have turned my will and life over to the care of God, not people. Where He leads I will follow, and where He sends me I will go. Whatever He wills I will step out to obey, by grace, whatever, wherever, however lengths He asks of me.

This is the any length that we need be prepared to take, that we must continue to go to if we want to deepen our relationship with God and secure our freedom, the length of total surrender, or complete commitment to His will over ours. Whatever lengths that entails for us, we must be ready and willing to, by grace, die to self. Nevertheless Father, not my will but Yours be done. When this is the axis point around which our life and choices revolve, we will never fall short of going the distance we need to in order to find and keep freedom. But if a person gives instruction or advice check it, test it. If it is in the book or lines up in agreement with the book, then by all means, do it, but if not, that is a length we dare not got to.

ULM