We could go on and on, unfortunately. There are as many examples of children of God who fail to live unselfishly, who fail to love God and others as they should and who fail to be the reflection of Christ as there are children of God. We all fail and fall short. We are not yet made perfect and the work is not yet done. But how much, how often and in what areas we give the Spirit control matters, greatly. It matters to us, because when we live for instead of denying self, we are not following Jesus, because to take back our will and life from Daddy is to court misery, destruction and death. as we leave the protected path and head into the wilderness where there are pits to fall into, predators out for our blood and necessary resources are scarce, and because when we live for self instead of submitting to His will and hurt someone, drive someone further from Daddy instead of drawing them to Him or sully the name of Jesus, we have actually failed in our purpose. It matters.
Assuming we are spiritually fit, we can do all sorts of things alcoholics are not supposed to do. People have said we must not go where liquor is served; we must not have it in our homes; we must shun friends who drink; we must avoid moving pictures which show drinking scenes; we must not go into bars; our friends must hide their bottles if we go to their houses; we mustn't think or be reminded about alcohol at all. Our experience shows that this is not necessarily so.
- Alcoholics Anonymous, pg. 100-101
This is the second root of the question of how we gauge spiritual fitness. If you have a disease that will kill you unless it is kept at bay, secured in remission through treatment, then what is the checklist to know that you are indeed within the treatment parameters and OK? Is the cancer really being removed and destroyed? Is that enough insulin to compensate for today's diet? Am I really spiritually fit enough to go where I need to go and do what I need to do without relapsing in whatever is my personal area of former captivity?
So it's not surprising that we have someone ask the question. It's not even surprising if we feel less than spiritually fit and yet safe. That may surprise you. How can I be safe from danger and not be spiritually fit? Doesn't that go against what we're taught in recovery? No. No, it doesn't. At least it isn't in disagreement with the trusted recovery literature. I'm not going to say that it wouldn't conflict with some of what is taught and lived by people at times. Let me see if I can explain. Here's another important quote on the issue from what is commonly known as the Big Book.
We will seldom be interested in liquor. If tempted, we recoil from it as from a hot flame. We react sanely and normally, and we will find that this has happened automatically. We will see that our new attitude toward liquor has been given us without any thought or effort on our part. It just comes! That is the miracle of it. We are not fighting it, neither are we avoiding temptation. We feel as though we had been placed in a position of neutrality - safe and protected. We have not even sworn off. Instead, the problem has been removed. It does not exist for us. We are neither cocky nor are we afraid. That is our experience. That is how we react so long as we keep in fit spiritual condition.
- Alcoholics Anonymous, pg. 84-85
This is one of the Tenth Step Promises. How awesome! We come to the place where the obsession to destroy ourselves with our addiction is removed! We aren't fighting the drink or drug or whatever was our former slave master. It's simply no longer an issue. We aren't cocky not are we afraid...as long as we keep in fit spiritual condition. So how do we gauge that? In my experience the question is often answered in a way that is subtly dangerous. Usually people will begin to list a number of spiritual disciplines or activities and say that as long they are not neglecting these things they remain spiritually fit. I myself have been guilty of this. The problem is that it's not entirely wrong. The problem is that it is deadly wrong.
What if I asked you how do I know I am physically fit? What if you answer as long as I go to the gym regularly and eat right and work out in the morning I know I am physically fit. You see how that is not an answer but rather your experience on method? We do the same thing when we respond to how someone can gauge spiritual fitness by listing the morning or evening prayers or spiritual reading, or recovery meeting or church attendance, etc. And this is also where the deadly danger comes in. If you ask me how to measure your spiritual fitness and I give you a list of activities to perform, I have put your fitness on you, but your spiritual fitness and mine are not based on what we do.
It is easy to let up on the spiritual program of action and rest on our laurels. We are headed for trouble if we do, for alcohol is a subtle foe. We are not cured of alcoholism. What we really have is a daily reprieve contingent on the maintenance of our spiritual condition. Every day is a day when we must carry the vision of God's will into all of our activities. "How can I best serve Thee - Thy will (not mine) be done." These are thoughts which must go with us constantly. We can exercise our will power along this line all we wish. It is the proper use of the will.
Much has already been said about receiving strength, inspiration, and direction from Him who has all knowledge and power. If we have carefully followed directions, we have begun to sense the flow of His Spirit into us. To some extent we have become God-conscious. We have begun to develop this vital sixth sense. But we must go further and that means more action.
Step Eleven suggests prayer and meditation. We shouldn't be shy on this matter of prayer.
- Alcoholics anonymous, pg. 85
This is the continuation of the second Big Book quote, and this is how the founders put it. We can't let up on the action or become complacent because we only have a daily reprieve contingent upon the maintenance of our spiritual condition, which we evaluate by having become submitted to His will and being God-conscious. Being spiritually fit is not about what activities we do. We don't earn it. It's about grace. We are spiritually fit because He makes us so. We have power because we are tapped into Him, not because we become powerful. We are safe from the cunning and subtle foe because we are in relationship with and submitted to the One who is more powerful than the enemy and who is able to keep us safe and make us strong for His glory.
It's never I read enough spiritual things, I have prayed long enough, I have do this or I have done that so I am strong enough to be safe in areas that were once dangerous. It is I am in relationship with and serving Daddy, so I need not fear the lion's den. If we make our salvation, our relationship, our fitness a matter of merit, about us, we have missed the point and are vulnerable. It's never about what we do but about what Jesus did. We can rely on Him. We can not rely on self.
If we look at spiritual fitness as a list of exercises we need to do in order to strengthen ourselves or protect ourselves we are falling for the lie that self is a part of the equation. That is the spiritual fitness myth, that it's still about us and what we do or do not do. But the truth of spiritual fitness is that when we are submitted to Him, we can walk through the valley of the shadow without fear. We can walk into the lion's den, cross through the midst of the sea of impossibility on dry land, defeat any enemy of temptation, because it's the miraculous hand of God on our behalf and not what we do or don't do. Yes, prayer is important, and so is reading and studying to understand more, and so is service and fellowship and many other spiritual activities. But they are not important as part of a checklist of merit. They are important because they are how we access not earn relationship.. The key is conscious contact with Daddy. How can I have conscious contact with anyone without communication and spending time with them? Talking and cuddling doesn't earn me relationship with my wife, it's simply part of having relationship. Service doesn't earn God's love and power, but it is a part of it.
The myth of spiritual fitness is that we need to work out, we do this or that to make ourselves strong and safe. Not so. The truth is that Daddy loves us, and works in and through us and then we are able to walk free of the bondage that once held us captive. We are still going to have areas that we are weak in. Part of that has to do with submission. Like a runner who never does upper body workouts will have stronger legs than arms and may can run for days but can't carry much, we have a tendency to be diligent about surrender of our areas of deadly bondage to the care of Daddy while holding on to our will in other ares. So, my drinking and drugging is fully and completely surrendered and I can sit at a table where nearly everyone is partaking but me and not be tempted, but make a mistake that makes me feel as though you are treating me like I have no value and my anger flares and erupts. Weakness and strength in the same body, spiritually fit and spiritually sick.
It may not be an issue of us not being surrendered though. It may simply be priority of the Healer. It is God who heals and restores and transforms us into the likeness of Jesus. He may have simply done the work that will prevent us from being totally destroyed first. Like a tree remover who cuts down the dead oak about to fall and destroy the house before worrying about the pine that will fall on power lines. Both are important, but one more so. In order for me to love God and others, to be of service and to have relationship with Daddy, it is essential that I am not drinking and drugging myself into the grave. There can be no freedom to walk with Him while serving the enemy. But there are other areas where I am still not well and need healing and restoration where progress can be made.
It's not hypocrisy when we see there is still work to be done. As long as we see were are not yet righteous in practice as well as Spirit there is room to grow. I am not perfect, and neither are you. We are never right enough or close enough. We will fall short, and look ugly and selfish and unloving instead of being the light of the love of Jesus to the world. It's not OK, but it's also not something to beat yourself up over. When we see those things in an area of our life it's a call to repent, to say I am wrong and He is right, to surrender to His will over our own. Then God can still get the glory and make us like Jesus.
How we gauge our spiritual fitness is by measuring self. Who is driving this car? Is the Spirit in the driver's seat or do we insist on control? The more self we have, the less like Jesus we will look to others and the more risk we run of falling back into captivity. Period. We begin to look longingly back at Egypt for some reason when we begin to see ourselves as the solution and when we make our lives about us. But the less self we allow to remain unsurrendered the more we are able to walk in the power and love of the One we are surrendered to. And thankfully He is changing us from glory to glory, there is more to learn and greater understanding will come, and it is about progress rather than perfection. It's not an all or nothing proposition. It's not walk perfectly like Jesus in every area now or relapse and all is lost. The only all or nothing proposition is also not about us. Either God is everything or He is nothing. Either Jesus did all that was necessary or He didn't do the work. We are fit when we understand that it's all about Him, when we are relying on Him and when we are trusting in the love of Daddy, the work of Jesus, and the power of the indwelling of the Spirit to meet our needs and leaving ourselves out of it. It we are doing that in the area of our bondage we will have freedom. If we do that in the other areas of our life we will also be a light in the darkness and not a contradiction of being fit and sick at the same time. People won't see us and question how is this person a Christian? Instead the question will become how can I have what they have?
Oh, and before I go, I went and apologized to the poor clerk I hung up on. When she realized who I was, she looked wary. When I began to apologize and own my wrong without addressing her performance, her face lit up. She had at least one moment that night where someone humbled themselves and treated her as having value. I failed to love her as I should on the phone, but it didn't end there. Instead of some jerk making her feel horrible all night and holding her mistake over her head, I became the person who said, I shouldn't have done that and I am sorry. You are more important than an hour of my time and my comfort and feeling of security and importance. And that is not because I was spiritually fit or anything other than knowing who I belong to and surrendering over and over whenever and wherever I see I am not surrendered until He finishes the work. God had a chance to work because I submitted to the Spirit's voice saying I was wrong, and unloving and self centered and needed to admit that and apologize. But even my ability to do that is only by grace. It's all about what Jesus did.
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