Unshackled Moments ~ January 16, 2018 ~ No Need To Cut

I am fluent in sarcasm. It feels like a pretty natural second language to me most of the time. But I try not to use it like a knife these days. When I was younger, my friends and I frequently cut each other down. We called it having cut down wars. Now, cut downs are different than sarcasm, but the two often overlap, and a lot of sarcasm is pretty insulting, even if the person it is directed at doesn't realize it. I used to pride myself on being able to insult someone without them seeing the insult and on being able to win most cut down wars.

My mother however hated it. She is still quick to stop any cut down matches she hears if her sons, grandchildren or church youth are involved. She often would silence us with a look and a short statement of 4:29. That last part was Mom shorthand for Ephesians 4:29 -

Let no corrupt word proceed out of your mouth, but what is good for necessary edification, that it may impart grace to the hearers.

Aw Mom, we're just playing. These were my friends, and no one took it seriously. Cut downs and sarcasm are funny. But my Mom was right. I've realized that, as I have come to realize she was right about so many things I once thought she was taking too seriously. As I think back on some of those moments with friends where sarcasm and cut downs were prevalent, I can remember several occasions where things went a little too far. Someone would make a remark that hit a little close to home, struck one of my many nerves of insecurity. No matter how able I might have been to laugh it off, or how much I told myself my friend didn't mean it because we were just playing, it hurt. And I am sure that I hurt my friends more than once or twice as well.

In truth, these harmless games weren't harmless. We ran each other down in order to feel like it made us look better. And God help the people who weren't our friends. Those were the easiest targets as we felt no need to hold back. I believe it's human nature to try to build ourselves up by tearing others down. I think that's a big reason why the tabloids are so popular. While we tend to envy the rich and famous, we also love to see them brought down, so that we no longer feel inferior. But tearing someone else down, whether in their presence or behind their back, never really works to strengthen our own sense of self worth. It certainly doesn't encourage anyone, build them up or impart the love and grace of God.

Criticizing and finding fault in others doesn't help make them better. It only angers, hurts and discourages. It also doesn't make us better. Pointing out the shortcomings and insufficiencies in others doesn't really raise our own esteem. There are times when we battle with insecurity and feelings of worthlessness, but the answer to those times is not in tearing someone else apart. It is in remembering that our worth is determined by Daddy who loves us and holds us in high esteem. Daddy delights in you and loves you as you are, not as you should be. There is no need for further validation when we realize how true that really is.

Today, let us be quick to show mercy, kindness and compassion with our tongues so that our words impart grace, and let us remember that someone else's esteem in their own eyes, our eyes, or the eyes of anyone else, has nothing to do with our own significance and value. That is determined by God's great love for us. When we need to feel better or of worth, let us turn to the Comforter for reassurance of God's love and acceptance and lay aside cut downs, biting sarcasm and gossip.

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