Unshackled Moments ~ May 21, 2018 ~ Not Living For Today

Sometimes I feel overwhelmed and frustrated because it seems like there's too much to do and not nearly enough time to get it all done. Other times it's because while I understand that it is progress rather than perfection and one drop at a time will eventually fill a tub, I am not a patient person and one drop at a time doesn't feel like progress. Basically most of my frustrations boil down to I'm in a hurry and God isn't or I want relief and God wants relationship.

Despite knowing that every time that I have agreed with Daddy and put relationship as the priority I have also found relief, even if the situation doesn't change, there is a part of me that still wants the circumstances changed and now, thank you very much. I want the parting of the sea and the teleportation to the other side thank you very much. Yes, it's nice to have the assurance that Daddy is with us as we walk through the Valley of the Shadow, but I'd be fine if we strolled on the beach instead.

So much of what we're told in recovery is that we need to live in the now, and for the most part I agree. Living in the past is bondage and not life. Living in the future is fantasy and leads to worry or delusion.  But there are times when focusing only on the now is the bondage that keeps us in a state of stress and near panic. Now it hurts. Now it is scary. Now there's too much. Sometimes the now is the quota of bricks being increased and the straw to make them with being taken away after God promised deliverance. When now is the journey through the shadow and the pressure that threatens to crush, then it may be the time to remember that now is a vapor that fades. We live in the present, in the now, but always with the awareness of the eternal.  It is important to our survival and ability to withstand the pressure when the difficult times come to remember that this  now is not going to last. This suffering is but for a moment and is less than a blink when stacked up next to eternity.

I remember days in early recovery when the pain and the cravings were so rough I thought they would kill me. I thought the withdrawal would never end, unless I fed it. If we lose sight of the eternal, then, when the now is killing us, we find it difficult, if not impossible, not to do something, anything, to change the now, even if it means more trouble and pain later. There's a reason why I have a smile now cry later tattoo. If nothing matters more than this moment, than nothing matters more than being comfortable in this moment. But an awareness of the eternal creates a paradigm shift. Instead of being satisfied with a series of short-term reliefs and pleasures, even with poor to horrible long-term returns, we can endure short-term hardship and discomfort for long-term pleasure, peace and joy.

We can refuse the sirens call of instant gratification and instant, if momentary, relief when we can remember that the bill is higher than the reward. We can burn that check for $500 instead of cashing it when we read the fine print that tells us we'll have to pay back $1,267.32. We can instead of seeking the quick fix, seek Daddy, when we can remember and hold onto the promise that though the circumstance may not be fixed quickly or at all on this side of eternity, what we will have in relationship with Him is worth every moment of difficulty we might experience and then some. So yes, let us let go of the past and not live in the many possibilities of tomorrow. Let us remember that this is the day in which we are called to live and love. But let us also remember that we are not living for today. We are living for eternity with Love.


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