It is easy to let up on the spiritual program of action and rest on our laurels. We are headed for trouble if we do, for alcohol is a subtle foe. We are not cured of alcoholism. What we really have is a daily reprieve contingent on the maintenance of our spiritual condition. Every day is a day when we must carry the vision of God's will into all of our activities. "How can I best serve Thee - Thy will (not mine) be done." These are thoughts which must go with us constantly. We can exercise our will power along this line all we wish. It is the proper use of the will.
- The Big Book of Alcoholics Anonymous
Selfishness - self-centeredness! That, we think, is the root of our troubles. Driven by a hundred forms of fear, self-delusion, self-seeking, and self-pity, we step on the toes of our fellows and they retaliate. Sometimes they hurt us, seemingly without provocation, but we invariably find that at some time in the past we have made decisions based on self which later placed us in a position to be hurt.
So our troubles, we think, are basically of our own making. They arise out of ourselves, and the alcoholic is an extreme example of self-will run riot, though he usually doesn't think so. Above everything, we alcoholics must be rid of this selfishness. We must, or it kills us! God makes that possible. And there often seems no way of entirely getting rid of self without His aid. Many of us had moral and philosophical convictions galore, but we could not live up to them even though we would have liked to. Neither could we reduce our self-centeredness much by wishing or trying on our own power. We had to have God's help.
- The Big Book of Alcoholics Anonymous
Then Jesus said to His disciples, “If anyone desires to come after Me, let him deny himself, and take up his cross, and follow Me. For whoever desires to save his life will lose it, but whoever loses his life for My sake will find it. For what profit is it to a man if he gains the whole world, and loses his own soul? Or what will a man give in exchange for his soul?
- Matthew 16:24-26
Alcoholism is a symptom of a spiritual sickness. So is every other addiction and habitual sin, and non-habitual sin for that matter. Selfishness, I want what I want, what's best for me, what makes me feel happy, pleasure, safe, secure or at least keeps me from feeling frustrated, fearful, discontent and empty. Self-centeredness, I am my own god, no one tells me what to do, I control my life, my will reigns because it's my life and I'll live it as I think best and want. This is the human condition. This is not limited to drunks or junkies or people who eat too much or spend too much or use sex the wrong way or.....
This is all of us. We are born with a spiritual disease. Our spiritual pancreas doesn't work, and we do not produce in ourselves what is necessary to perfectly love God and love others, to choose right over wrong every time in every situation, to live a life filled with love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control. And just like with physical diabetes, of which more than a few of my relatives have had to deal with, there is no cure. Diabetics get a 24-hour reprieve, sometimes less, based upon the maintenance of proper insulin levels. They don't have to get it perfect, but the farther off they get, the worse off they are. It can lead to death.
So it is with us. All of us. The drunks and the deacons and the drunk deacons. Self is the problem. To be free and have a life worth living we must be rid of self. We must deny self, take up our cross and follow Jesus in service to and love for and relationship with our Heavenly Daddy. And that is first only possible by the power of the Spirit. And, like insulin, what we had last week, won't help. We must choose this day, each day to turn to Daddy, to follow Jesus and surrender to the Spirit or our self levels will begin to climb and we will get sick. But with daily injections of the Spirit of God in our lives, we can live the life we were always meant to live, a life of love, happy, joyous and free.
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