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Wednesday, May 30, 2018

Unshackled Moments ~ May 30, 2018 ~ The Beauty Of Transparency

There is a beautiful transparency to honest disciples who never wear a false face and do not pretend to be anything but who they are.
- Brennan Manning

It's almost impossible to avoid trying to be what we feel we should be. Firstly, because we want to improve and grow, and secondly because we want others to approve, respect and admire us for the changes we've made, for how much we've grown and for who we've become. The first reason is not really all that bad or dangerous. We should strive for perfection, forgetting the past and pressing on toward the goal of loving God and loving others. It is a good thing to try to follow the example of Christ and live and love as He did. It is good to look at the lives of those who have what we want and then try to do what they did. The little boy banging on the wall with a plastic hammer trying to be like his daddy may eventually grow from that place of pretending to the place of being a master carpenter. It's OK to pretend a little to get the ball rolling. It's not so much fake it 'till you make it as it is learning by trying to do.

I didn't want to be of service to others when I first began the journey to recovery. I wanted others to be of service to me. But I also wanted to be happy, joyous and free like others who were of service were. So I did service work. Eventually, I began to see how much it helped me and how good it felt to help others without expecting a return from them, and I began to seek out service because I wanted to do it. But whether it's service or something else we're trying to be in order to grow and change for the better, we must remember that the ultimate goal is not to grow and change but to connect with Daddy. We must remember that we can not be what we are not or really change without the transformative power of the Spirit working in us to do for us what we are not able to do ourselves. Finally, we need to give ourselves room and time. It is a process, and we will fall short. It is extremely rare to learn how to ride a bicycle without some falls or learn to play a musical instrument without some sour notes.

But trying to be what we are not to impress others or to gain the approval of others is another matter. Coming from that motivation, pretending and trying to be something you are not leads to hypocrisy. It leads to feeling as though we must hide our mistakes and shortcomings to keep others from seeing them and thinking less of us. But there really is something beautiful about a transparent disciple. Yes, I am no longer the man I used to be, but I also don't have to pretend that I have grown into some spiritual giant. Look at me, look at how much I know or do or how well I walk this tight rope. Nope. Look at me as little as possible. I don't know everything, but I know the One who does and who freely gives wisdom and guidance to those who seek Him. Sure there are times when I do well and walk in love. But there are also times when I don't want to be of service, I don't want to care about and don't even like others. There are times I slip back into self and where my motives are not pure. And I can't walk much at all, never mind the tight rope, without the grace of God making me able. When we lose the mask and stop pretending, we become transparent. And transparency allows others to see what God has really done, what He is continuing to do and how He restores and loves us even when we don't live  up to the progress we made yesterday.

Sometimes I soar and sometimes I struggle. And in both cases God is there. He loves us as we are, not as we should be, so we don't have to pretend to gain His favor or try to impress Him. And if we get a grasp at how much Daddy really loves us, then we don't have to worry about what others may think.


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