Most assuredly, I say to you, unless a grain of wheat falls into the ground and dies, it remains alone; but if it dies, it produces much grain. He who loves his life will lose it, and he who hates his life in this world will keep it for eternal life.
John 12:24-25
I used to hate my life. I had no life worth living, and really had no life. I existed. I existed for moments of pleasure scattered here and there among the seemingly endless days of misery. I did everything I could to manufacture pleasure, or, failing that, to escape the misery through distraction and oblivion. I waited for Death, courted her and called her to me. This is not what Christ meant when He said that those who hate their lives in the world will keep it for eternal life.
The truth is that I loved my misery in a twisted way. Loved may not be the right word, but I lived dedicated to myself. I spent each moment either trying to please my self or escape myself. My life was totally and completely self centered, and that means I fell in the category of those who loved their life to destruction. It takes more than dying. It takes more than destruction for a seed to bear fruit.
While it is true that for a seed to fulfill its purpose it must be completely undone and that looks like destruction, it's not been destroyed. It dies in line with the plan of the Creator, and that allows life to overcome death. If that seed is ground into powder it will never grow. Living destructively and hating our life is not the life God desires for us. He doesn't want us to hate life in the way we would think of hating life. He just wants us to value relationship with Him and love Him more that loving and living for what this world has to offer. Today let us die to self and this world and live for relationship with our Daddy and find in Him a life we can love.
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