Unshackled Moments ~ February 12 ~ Autopilot

If you, Dear Reader, are anything like me, it can feel quite disappointing to take a look withing, examine the heart, take a moral inventory like many did on Ash Wednesday two days ago, see what needs to be different or better, decide on a change of heart or attitude and then fall short soon thereafter. It might go something like I've been impatient with people to the point of being unloving and critical,even hateful, in my heart so I'm going be more patient and loving. Even if I don't let it show on the outside, that impatience isn't Christlike, and I want to be more like Jesus, especially during this Lenten season. Or maybe it's more along the lines of self deprecation and self condemnation over mistakes of the past. So during the Lenten season you determine to remember that you are forgiven of those mistakes and are a valued and significant child of the Most High God. Or maybe mentally you've returned to the fantasy of living for self without consequences. Insert your own thing here. I imagine that we all have something where either our thoughts or our attitude hasn't been what it should be.

Maybe, like me, you've decided to do something different during Lent. Maybe you vow to be more loving and patient and kind toward that annoying co-worker. Maybe you vowed to agree with what God says about you instead of the self deprecating that is the norm. Maybe something else. And maybe, just maybe, like me, three days in it's already a struggle. The good news is that we don't feed to get more determined. The good news is that we don't need to strengthen our resolve. We don't need to give up i the face of defeat. The same forgiveness we received for the sins of Fat Tuesday is available for the sins of Tough Thursday and Frailty Friday.

We've never been good at control our thoughts, changing our heart or walking and living in a Christ-like manner. That's why we need grace. That's why we need the power of the Holy Spirit. It's not even that we didn't desire or really determine to do things different. But maybe, like me, as the day goes by sometimes, without even realising it, we flip on the autopilot and cruise through not really paying much attention to our position. Then something happens, and before we even stop to think that old default switch is flipped and we're thinking and acting just like the days before the vow.

Something like that happened to me in the days of my early sobriety. I went into the store for a soda. I wasn't even consciously craving alcohol, but as I approached the counter to pay I realized I had a beer in my hand. I hadn't even thought about picking it up. I simply went through the automatic motions so familiar to me. I almost dropped it like it was a hot coal. I put it back and grabbed a Mt. Dew, aid for it and left. It was a narrow escape because I wasn't paying attention.

When desiring to surrender and let God change something that has become as natural to us as breathing, whether it's picking up a drink or drug, cutting someone to pieces with our tongue or hating on our self, no matter what it is, autopilot is the enemy.We have to guard our hearts and minds. It's not our power that gives us strength to overcome our old nature, but we can't just go about mentally like business as usual. It's time to pay attention, close attention, to our position in regards to where we are at that moment with the will of God, how we are feeling and how we are acting and thinking. Until the new flight plan has become second nature and the automatic response, we cant afford to fly without direction.

Today, I can go into any store on autopilot and come out with a Mt. Dew. There's nothing in me that reaches automatically for alcohol any longer. But I can't go stand in a crowded, noisy room with far too many people and concrete floors without slipping back into the irritability of a convict in crowds, not on autopilot anyway. What I can do is catch it fast, pray, ask for grace and help to get through the situation without getting further off course and getting back on course as fast as possible. I can refuse to let the autopilot be switched back on/ With vigilant awareness, we can pause our natural reactions to situations long enough for grace to kick in and show the necessary course adjustments that we need in order to do it differently today than we did yesterday. So if you wanted to change something and used Lent as a good time to start...and then failed already or at least struggled with the issue, ask for grace and, if necessary, forgiveness, and turn the autopilot off. One good thing about Lent is that 40 days of vigilance is long enough to change a pattern of thinking. Just remember that it's God who does the changing in us, we just have to slow down our reactions long enough to surrender to His transforming touch.

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t of despair.