Unshackled Moments ~ February 28 ~ Deflating The Pretty Pride Balloon

Yesterday my phone went off alerting me to an incoming text. I checked and saw that I had received a group message from my mother. She had sent the text to me and the older of my two younger brothers informing us that our local paper is running an article about my youngest brother, who is the new commander of the U.S. Army 1st Cavalry Division Horse Cavalry Detachment. In all honesty my first thought was about how wonderful it must be for my mother to get to see one of her sons in the paper and it not be in the section of arrests. Considering my past, that is a nice change of pace. At least it's been a good while since we've had to worry about that kind of attention, and thanks to the grace of God, she never had to deal with submitting my obituary.

But Captain Woodard has served his country well, and it is a blessing to see him honored in our home town paper. I sent a response to my mother and told her that I would have to buy a paper today. I don't normally buy the local paper, since it is a constant reminder of the career I threw away. I mentally began to design the frame in my mind so that I could proudly display my brother's accomplishments. Leah said something about how much progress I've made in the last six years to be able to simply be happy for Jeremy and proud of him without slipping into self-pity about my own past or into self-condemnation over the many, many times I have brought disappointment and shame to the family rather than pride and honor. I hadn't thought about it, but when I thought about what she said, I felt good. No, I felt righteous. Look at me, I thought, I'm doing good.

Now, I'm the oldest, the criminal-turned-minister, and Captain Jeremy Woodard is the hero. But Jonathan is, and always has been, the best of us. Jeremy calls Jonathan his hero, and I understand why. When Jonathan got married last year, I told his new bride that she had gotten the best of the three. I am grateful that my wife thinks I'm the best and that I'm a blessing as a husband to her. But I stand by my statement that Stacy got the best of the offspring of David and Darlene Woodard.

This morning, as I lay in bed praying and trying to come up with something to write for today's Unshackled Moment, my phone went off again. This time it was Jonathan's response to yesterday's text from my mother. It read simply, I got a paper for you. I looked inward at the pretty little pride balloon I filled yesterday and saw it deflated, sinking slowly into the corner of my mind. I had rejoiced for my brother and for the blessing this day would be for my parents, but Jonathan had simply and quietly gone and increased the blessing. My mother doesn't have to buy a paper today. It's been done for her. It's important to lose the selfishness and self-centeredness, but to go further than not being selfish and having that natural response be to bless and serve and honor someone else is what being a Christian is all about. In fact, I realized with some chagrin that it is exactly what I preached about only four days ago in the sermon The Final Lesson. I preached it. Jonathan lived it and exemplifies it.

I didn't do bad this weekend. I think I probably scored a good solid B in not being self focused in my reaction and in not beating myself up over the mistakes of the past and the limited future that those mistakes have given me. And I'm not even beating myself up for not measuring up to Jonathan. I gave up on being able to measure up to him a long time ago. The only person we need to measure up to is Christ, and in that we all fall far short. In fact, I'm not beating myself up at all. I am grateful for Jonathan's actions that shone the light for me to see that there is still so much farther to go. I am grateful for the grace that will empower me to continue to grow and progress and is responsible for every inch of progress that I have made since I got out of prison in 2008.

It is good to see progress made. Rejoice in it and thank the God who made it possible. Shout it to the rooftops that once we were captives and broken and that we are now free and healing because of the mercy that a loving God freely poured out on us. But let us not forget that it is He and not us who did the work, performed the miraculous transformations and rebuilt the lives. And let us not get prideful or comfortable with the amazing progress made. We have come through the Red Sea on dry land, but we have yet to achieve the promise. It's not time to get comfortable and set up camp. It's time to march on, faithful to grow and progress even further in the calling to be free, and to serve.

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