For a righteous man falls seven times, and rises again, But the wicked stumble in time of calamity.
- Proverbs 24:16
This evening marks the beginning of Yom Kippur. The holiday, used as in Holy Day, was the holiest of days under the Old Covenant and is still considered to be the holiest day of the year to those who practice Judaism. It was the day of atonement.
The people would gather each year, confess their sins, resolve not to repeat them and be forgiven. Why every year? Because all the resolving in the world can't keep us from missing the mark, which is what sinning is. God knew that no matter how sincere the repentance was and how determined to follow through on the resolution to walk rightly, the people would fail. Failure happens.
Interestingly enough, in the Proverb I opened with we see that the difference between the righteous and the wicked wasn't motive, it wasn't doing it right as opposed to doing it wrong, and it wasn't faithfulness to never choose self over God verses rejecting God's will. We all mess up. We all have moments of choosing to take our will and life back from the God to whom we have surrendered them. Sometimes we fail because we don't think before acting or reacting. Sometimes it is because of ignorance, wrong thinking that we don't recognize as wrong until we see we are off course and out of the will of God and are trying to figure out how we got there once again. Sometimes it is self rising up within us, as in the days of old, determined to do its own thing, run our own life. In other words, sometimes it's pure disobedience and rebellion. But regardless of how or why, failure happens. Sin occurs. Even in the life of the most mature and committed followers of Christ there are those self will run riot moments.
They may be fairly insignificant in terms of damage and consequences because of the nature of the misdeed and how quickly it is recognized,, repented of and our course is corrected. Other times it may lead to devastation, heart break, a total relapse into the old nature and behavior. But what makes the distinction between those who love God, who understand that God loves them and who are truly surrendered to His will and care and those who do not and are not is not if those failures happen. It's not even the nature or intensity of the falling. It is what happens after.
Those who love God and understand that God loves them and is for them, which is really the closest we can come to being righteous in ourselves, react by getting back on the path, returning to the place where our will is surrendered to God's. In the Old Testament the number seven is often used to symbolize total completion. So this Proverb could be rephrased to say though the person who loves God fails utterly and completely, he or she returns, gets back on the right road and continues the journey. But those who do not love God and who do not understand that God loves them and will welcome them to Him regardless of the failure in their life give up or embrace the wickedness that caused the calamity and destruction and misery in their life.
Those who believe in and follow Jesus no longer need a yearly day of atonement, because Jesus paid the price and covered all our failures, of every kind, once and for all, on the cross. We are forgiven and stand clean before our Lord. But that doesn't mean we are already perfect and that the holiness of our new nature is purely manifested in our life. We still fail, and we still get out of the will of God and let self rise up in our lives.
We must remember that God loves us and be quick, rather than afraid, to return to Him and the right way when the consequences of our actions make it clear that we have fallen. If we love Him, let us run to Him, asking for forgiveness and grace to go on from the point of falling, in His power, to live well and right. Let us honestly and completely admit our shortcomings, resolve to learn from our mistakes and do it differently in the future, while understanding that living free of the sins of the past is only possible as long as we are living empowered by God (walking in grace), which only happens when we are in His will (also only possible by grace).
Understanding that we can get a little off course and stay that way for a while before calamity strikes is scary, because it means we may not realize we have taken our will back before self wreaks havoc and returns us to the bondage of the past. But it can also give us encouragement and hope. If we are willing to examine ourselves...our actions, hearts and motives, honestly and thoroughly, under the guidance of the Spirit to reveal to us what we need to see, we have the opportunity to get up and adjust course before we go over the cliff to our destruction. This is why an evening review of the day is a good practice. Where did we do it right? Where did we run of self, on fear, on anger, etc. instead of on the grace of God? Repenting and accepting forgiveness and making amends to the people we may have harmed. But sometimes in the day to day we can miss the subtle shifts.
This is why many in recovery, even with years of freedom from the bondage that once held them captive, do a yearly Fourth Step Inventory. It is good to take the time to set aside the world and life to let the Spirit guide us through an in depth, thorough examination over the past year, see where we have fallen short, repent, and continue to the journey assured that we are forgiven through the blood of Jesus. Some may do this in their hearts, while others commit the review to paper, in the same way the original Fourth Step was done. Some do this at the start of the new year. Some on their birthday, recovery anniversary, or just when something may not seem to be quite right with life, and some may even do it on Yom Kippur. It is not a legal thing, and not a command of God. So no one is saying you must do a yearly review. But on the other hand, the person who loves God and is surrendered to His will and care will do well to heed the example of the Psalmist who prayed:
Search me, O God, and know my heart; try me and know my anxious thoughts; and see if there be any hurtful way in me, and lead me in the everlasting way.
- Psalm 139:23-24
We all mess up and get off course. Failure happens. The righteous are marked by a heart that is quick to repent, to get back up, to return to the road and the journey pressing on towards the goal of perfection. If we regularly do a thorough, Spirit-led, examination of our lives, we open the possibility to be guided back to where we need to be before calamity comes. But if we don't take the time for self examination, we will find ourselves mired in mess after mess.
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