Unshackled Echo ~ January 30, 2019 ~ Guilt-Free Grief

Life deals some heavy blows. There are losses and setbacks and devastation. There is evil in the world, and it effects our lives, even when, sometimes especially when, we are walking with God. Verses like Rejoice in the Lord always and in everything give thanks for this is the will of God and concepts learned in recovery, from self-help books and life coaches, like have an attitude of gratitude, can become hammers of condemnation when misunderstood or taken out of context as we struggle to be grateful and thankful during times of sorrow and grief.

Gratitude is important, and it is a useful weapon with which to combat self-pity. But gratitude is not a spiritual baking soda absorbing sorrow on contact. Gratitude is not an instant fix or escape from all pain. To look at it this way can produce condemnation and guilt in us and in others who are struggling. There is a time to grieve. There can be sorrow, even in times when we rely on the joy of the Lord to make it through hard times. Jesus said blessed are they that mourn. He never said don't morn. In fact, though He never sinned or failed in any way, He was known as a man of sorrow acquainted with grief.

Sorrow is not a sin. We are not required or commanded to snap out of it. Christianity has never been a call to deny or ignore reality, and sometimes reality is painful and grief stained. That is why when Jesus first mentioned the promise of the Holy Spirit as a help to those that believe, He called Him the Comforter. Comfort does not mean sorrow eliminator. It does not mean grief eraser. Sometimes our greatest comfort is that true friend who empathizes and feels our pain with us, who allows us to lean on them for strength and go through it. They don't try to make it less than it is. They don't try to pretend it away, or even cheer us up. They just quietly go through it with us, and somehow in the process make it Ok. Their presence gives us the strength to endure the sorrow and go through the process of grieving so that later, when the time is right, we can begin to heal. Wounds must be cleaned before they can heal, and sometimes what cleans them is our tears.

No one is a better friend to us in this respect than the Holy Spirit. He is always there and available when we need Him. When grief rises up, we do need to beware the quicksand of self pity, but sorrow is something we all go through. It's OK. Don't feel guilty about not being able to shake it off. Don't try to blot it out or escape it. Lean on Him who is able to help us through every valley of the shadow and be comforted that we are never alone in our pain. Jesus wept. And He did so for and with your pain.

Today's Unshackled Echo was previously published on

January 30, 2016.

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